Author Topic: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED  (Read 4861 times)

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Offline jnduff

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NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« on: January 14, 2015, 13:01:50 pm »
My LO is 11 months old.  We have been dealing with NW for a while now but the problem in the last month is that it is taking 1-2 hours to resettle to sleep.  I am at a loss as to OT, UT, early bedtime and on and on.  I think that my exhaustion hasn't helped for clarity.  I feel like I have been working my butt off trying to get him to be a good little sleeper but nothing seems to work.  I used BW with my older two and even though we struggled, we made it though and now I have two really good sleepers.  I am freaking out that this little guy will ALWAYS be a bad sleeper.

He is a run down of his schedule, it isn't always this easy as he is between home and an in home daycare.
5:30 wake-up and eat - (just transitioned from breast feeding to exclusively formula)
7:30-8:00 breakfast and bottle formula
9:00-10:15 morning nap (at daycare)
11:30-12:00 Lunch
12:50 bottle of formula
1:15 - 3:15 afternoon nap (depending on day - can be shorter or longer)
4:15 snack
5:30-6:00 dinner
6:15 bath and start bedtime routine
6:30 bottle
6:45 read story, rock and put to bed

I do need to mention that he doesn't do well with cutting teeth and just recently he popped another tooth.  Also, in the last month we have moved to a new house.  The last two nights he is going to bed and crying and upset, where as before we could lay him down drowsy but awake and not hear a peep until the early morning hours.

The night has been going as follows...usually up anywhere from 1 - 3 am. Last night it was 1:30am and it took us until 3:00am to get him back to sleep.  I used a combination of PUPD, WIWO, hand on his body.  Then it was as if he was so wide awake that I rocked him until he was drowsy but awake and was able to lay him down.  He was quiet for about 20 minutes and then started crying and screaming.  Due to him being so worked up I picked him up and it was like he wasn't even tired.  He goes from being drowsy to wide awake and talking etc. 

My husband works nights so I don't him there every night for moral support.  I am sure that I have started some bad habits as I have been doing whatever I can to get through.  However I know that he isn't getting good sleep and neither his mama!  I have started to feel like maybe he is one of those kids who only needs 8 hours of sleep - which seems ridiculous for an 11 month old baby.  People keep telling me that he goes to bed too early but I am not comfortable with him going to bed later and getting over tired.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2015, 13:24:06 pm »
A couple of things jump out at me - first that is a very early time to have a long(ish) morning nap at 11months and is almost certainly why you are up for the day at 5.30am.  Some babies will keep an early nap without it causing early starts but they would usually only be having 20-30 mins or so as a catnap.  Does it have to be at that time at the daycare?  Could they push it later and/or cap it shorter?

Secondly, I then think he may well be UT at bedtime even if overall he is showing signs of overtiredness.  On days he has a 2h afternoon nap then 3.5h A isn't that long afterwards especially with other A times only being 3-3.5h.  We get UT NWs here on that sort of routine and DS is only 7 months!  Often LOs need at least one long A time in the day to get them properly tired to sleep well. 

If you have the flexibility to do so, my suggestion would be to push and shorten the morning nap which will hopefully improve WU time, and push bt to 7/7.15pm to allow longer A time after the long afternoon nap. 

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2015, 13:55:48 pm »
Thank you for replying!  The morning nap is at daycare and she does like him to go down about 9 but I can have her cap it for sure to help out the night time.  How long should she cap it?  One hour or like 45 minutes???  She likes him to nap around 9 so that he is up with time to tire him out for afternoon nap.

I can easily push his bedtime to 7 or 7:15...I guess I just kept going earlier since I thought he was OT, not UT.  I do know that the last two nights when he has fussed about going to bed it was like he wanted to play and crawl now making me realize he was probably UT.  He will clearly enjoy a longer A time after dinner before bed and it won't be so rushed for us as parents!  Hopefully a win win.

I feel a bit of hope now that you have pointed some things out...I just have been at a loss lately.  Thanks a million!  Can't wait to try!

Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2015, 14:18:26 pm »
I would do it slowly but I would have thought you'd want to aim to get down to something very short to improve that early start.  For comparison for quite some time now my 7mo has been doing 45 mins at 9am and then a longer nap around 1/1.15pm.  The 45 mins is now getting too long I think for a decent afternoon nap so I am steeling myself to cut it shorter!

If she jumps straight to a short nap he will likely be very tired for his afternoon nap to begin with and may need that one bringing earlier.  However as he gets used to the shorter am nap and hopefully WU time improves, it can probably push back out again.  The other thing to watch for is that as WU time gets later he may end up refusing the nap at 9am.  DS had (for him) a pretty good night last night and refused his am nap until 9.30am from a 6.45am WU.  This age can be messy for sleep anyway as many LOs start the 2-1.  I would say you're in the process already really as LO taking two good naps but waking early is a fairly classic way for it to begin.


Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2015, 14:31:14 pm »
OK - makes sense.  She will be capping his nap today to an hour - from 9-10. Since he goes down by 1 that is really only 3 - 3 1/2 hour A time.  I will keep an eye on his wake up time as we transition through this process.  I am hopeful that I start to see some positive change.  I am sure today he will be tired since capping the nap...she was capping his nap by 10:15 or 10:30 anyway...so he was only getting an hour and 15 minutes to an hour and a half at best.  I am ready to try ANYTHING!

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2015, 15:03:51 pm »
Good luck!

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2015, 16:29:59 pm »
IT WORKED!!!  I am beyond thrilled.  He went to bed around 7:15pm and got up this morning at 5:20am.  He was still up a bit too early but after sleeping ALL night I am thrilled.  We will now start working on capping the afternoon nap so that we can hopefully get a bit of a later wake up time.  Thanks again for your insight.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2015, 18:55:12 pm »
Great news!!!

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2015, 14:43:45 pm »
Ok...now that nights are going well he is still waking at 5 am or 515... Despite being much happier when he wakes I feel like I should get him to go until 6 or so.  Could it be possible that he is just one of those who needs less sleep or is it the morning nap? I have capped it to an hour in the morning...he can't go later than 9 am since he is getting up at 5.
Does  the time he goes to bed affect his wake up time?  Should I push him to 730 bedtime in hopes he will sleep a bit later?? Any suggestions?

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2015, 18:56:04 pm »
I think the morning nap may still be too early and too long.  Can you push it very slowly forwards and wake at same time, so 9.05-10, then 9.10-10 etc?

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2015, 19:51:05 pm »
I can try that.  It gets hard at daycare during the week as I think she wants him to sleep from 9-10 or so...that way he is ready for afternoon nap by 1 pm.  I think ideally he should go down by about 915 and still get up by 10, just a 45 minute catnap...soon enough he will be transitioning to one nap a day, right?

Offline Martini~

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2015, 20:14:15 pm »
Hi Sweetie! Just popping as I also have a LO, 11 mo and going to nursery:)!

Firstly that's great that he sleeps so well there, believe me not every LO does it:). Secondly you're right that he will be transitioning to one nap. I agree with every suggestion of Katherine here, but had a thought that maybe you could to a carer how she transitions kids to one nap? I mean I get that she likes kiddos to go to sleep together at 1pm but keeping and 1h nap is not a solution for ever so maybe he has her way of transitioning and that would help both of you?

At that age I personally think that 1pm could be his first nap already however his day would would have to be 8-8 rather than 6-6. If he is not ready for one nap, you could do a short CN in the afternoon when doing pick up or so. WDYT? Would 8-8 routine suit you and your family?
~Marta

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2015, 14:37:26 pm »
I don't think 8-8 would work as he is usually at daycare by 7:30 or so.  The 6-6 works better just because of when I need to get to work.  I am working on his morning nap from about 9:05 to 10 and really just trying to get him to do a 45 minute nap or so.  I have to say now that he is sleeping through the night I will gladly deal with him getting up early.  I do feed him and then lay him back down for him to talk and babble while I shower and get ready...I am just so thankful for the help and that I got him sleeping though the night with such a simple tweak of his schedule.  I will ask daycare how she transitions to one nap and see if we can figure something out.  Ideally the one nap doesn't happen until about 18 months, right??

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2015, 14:41:07 pm »
It really depends on kiddos, their sleep needs and also the length of night you wanna have. My DS is 11mo and is average/low sleep needs but also always needed loooong A to have a decent nap. So we are transitioning to one nap just now as if I don't push him he wil do only 2x45min nap during day and is exhausted by BT.
But generally I agree, until you are fine with his WU and BT and he STTN, I would go for two naps as long as possible!
~Marta

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2015, 12:58:44 pm »
OK so new issue - waking up at 4:15 am or 4:30 am.  The last tweak to his schedule worked so I am hopeful that there is something I can do to help this situation.  I have capped his morning nap to an hour - yesterday his morning nap was about 45 minutes from 9:15-10:00 (or just before).  Likewise I have capped his afternoon nap to right around 2 hours but the last two days it has been drastically shorter than that.  Yesterday it was from 1:30 - 2:50.  I know that he is cutting some teeth right now so I am hoping that is the problem.  Ideally what should his day look like with naps and amount of sleep?  Currently he is going to be about 7:15pm.  Last night he did wake about 9:35pm and I am thinking that was teeth...also he woke again sometime in the middle of the night but was easy to resettle both times.