Author Topic: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED  (Read 4870 times)

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Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #15 on: January 23, 2015, 13:20:43 pm »
This may be useful.....though bear in mind it is just a guide: Typical Amounts of Day and Night Sleep

Have you been able to resettle at 4/4.30?

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2015, 19:38:05 pm »
I am able to resettle but its been taking a while.  I usually pick him up - as other methods typically have NEVER worked.  Lately I give him a bottle and he will usually go back to sleep for a bit longer while I get ready for work etc.  So his sleep is all messed up again.  Because he is now going to sleep from 5 or 530 and then I wake him at 6:45 or so.  He goes to daycare and sleeps an hour in the morning (typically from 9-10 - since I have asked her to cap his morning nap) and then sleeps in the afternoon from 1-2:30 or so.  I am just all over the place I know and understand that the EW and me rocking him and giving a bottle are not helping.  I have been desperate just to get him back to sleep.  I do think we are also dealing with teething issue too.  Likewise, I know that he is nearing 1 year old and I will probably stop the bottle with formula and just do a cup.  Now I am rambling...sorry.

After looking at the link you shared.  He is FOR SURE doing one nap at an hour and one nap at 1 hour 15 minutes or 1 hour 30 minutes...that is fine.  BUT he is NOT sleeping 11.5 hours straight.  He is sleeping from 7:15pm bedtime, waking at 4 or 4:15 and then back to sleep around 5:30 or so until I wake him at 6:45.  How do I get him to stop waking so darn early.  I feel like he is constantly OT...he is doing a long stretch in the afternoon which should make him tired out for night time but then habit of getting up at 4:15.

HELP!! This mama is tired!

Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2015, 19:49:30 pm »
I wonder if you need to pull in bedtime slightly earlier for a bit?  He's cut down on day sleep fairly quickly and may just need a few early nights to catch up.  What's his mood like/what's he doing at those EWs?

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2015, 20:08:37 pm »
Oh good point.  I can try to move earlier like 5-10 minutes...maybe try 7:05 or 7:10.

When he wakes at 4:15ish I typically pick him up and rock and he lays there with eyes open and content snuggled in.  Not fighting to get up or anything but awake...not full on drowsy either.  I can lay him down semi awake and he lays there fine (quite dark in his room so not sure if eyes are closed or not) and he will stay quiet for about 10-20 minutes before he starts crying out again.  Then I have found myself repeating the process...eventually I give a bottle at 5:00 or so.  A few times I have just jumped to the bottle at 4 am.  But definitely content and awake.  One day in the last few he did sleep until almost 6am...not sure what I did differently that day.


Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2015, 09:29:22 am »
If he's not all-out screaming and crying, what happens if you just ignore him?  I wonder if picking up and rocking and eventually giving a bottle may be doing more harm than good?  He may hold out for the bottle if he thinks it may come....if he's an independent sleeper I would leave him to it to be honest, unless it's an 'I need you' cry in which case maybe just sit with him, reassure with soft words/shh so he knows he's not alone but try not to help to much.  I've sat with my DS an hour and a half before and he has eventually settled himself, any efforts on my part to 'help' generally haven't speeded up the process.  If you genuinely think hunger could be an issue I would feed immediately, but if he doesn't settle back instantly that probably isn't the reason he's woken so then I would probably cut the feed all together.  What do you think?

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2015, 13:05:16 pm »
Yeah I have thought of that.  That I am doing too much.  I know that he really struggles with getting teeth and we are in the process of getting them or they are coming!  Last night was a totally different situation.  He was up from about 11:30-1 and then woke again at 2.  This was a full on screaming I need you type cry.  I have tweaked his naps and bedtime and just when we get a good few days something happens and we are back to the beginning.  I need to make contact with my daycare provider today to see how his naps went yesterday since he was up last night.  I am really worried that we will get into a cycle of OT if I don't work on nipping it in the bud now.  Typically he is a really big eater so early in the morning it could be hunger.  Yesterday morning when he woke I did give him a bottle and he was back out pretty quick making me think yesterday was hunger for sure.  Most days though I am feeling like he just needs to resettle himself and I feel too he is waking out of habit.  We have tried to leave him to resettle and it seems to escalate to an I need you cry, not the other way.  I feel like I am trying to get him on track and he is resisting. The baby whisperer has always worked for my older two but I am just not sure at this point what to do.  I am overwhelmed, and tired, but I know that he is not getting the sound sleep he needs.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2015, 13:16:54 pm »
Hugs, my DS is a tricky one too :-* if it's always 4.15am have you thought of giving wake to sleep a go?  Though for us a waking 9h after BT is often OT so if you can pull BT earlier still, 15-30 mins that may help x

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2015, 14:39:12 pm »
Thank you for the support!  I have not tried wake to sleep.  I am not exactly sure on the exact technique of it either.  OH...BT could still be the problem?  I was thinking that pulling his bedtime in by 5-10 minutes max would be better?  Didn't know I should go further yet.  OK..Do you think I am trying to adjust too much at a time?  I talked to daycare and his naps are capped and he is not over sleeping the day away causing him to not be tired at night.  How long should he be awake from the last nap to bedtime.  He typically naps from 1:15-3:15ish...sometimes its a little different one way or the other. Sleeps about 45 minutes in the morning around 9 to about 9:45...this morning it was 8:45 because of the crappy night.

How the heck do I get on track???  My daycare provider thinks he should go to bed later rather than earlier....I am so lost and confused on which way to go with him.

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #23 on: January 28, 2015, 15:22:48 pm »
Oh Honey, don't worry. It's a golden rule of a lot of people which I know , magical "put him down later". Yes I guess if you put him down at 10pm he will do a crash down night with 9h of sleep and be up at 7am, but that's not the solution you are looking for. Moreover some kiddos pushed to the boundaries start to wake even more often.

I think that you have to look for the balance you like. I general at this age I guess nights should be 11-12h depending on your LO's sleep needs.
I would also go for an earlier BT. So usually he was up at 6am and went down at 8pm? If yes, if he wakes 2h earlier in the morning I would go for at least 1-1,5h earlier BT. He may recover and sleep nicely till 5/6am so you can than gradually put him down at BT later. WDYT?
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Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #24 on: January 28, 2015, 16:50:17 pm »
He is definitely not getting that much sleep!  He is sleeping about 45 minutes in the morning and about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.  My gut tells me that if I were to put him to bed later like 8pm or later he will start to wake more often plus I tried that tactic with my other two and it never worked...always put them to bed earlier and they would sleep more sound and longer.  I think that he may not need as much as the 11-12 hours but he does need more than he is getting.  I fear that we are in a cycle of OT. 

I am going to try the earlier bedtime and see what happens.  He was up at 5-6 and would be going to bed around 6:45...then I moved it to sort of tire him out and started capping the naps and putting him to bed around 7:15...we would go into his room about 7:05 and rock and sing and he would go down drowsy but awake. Wondering if I moved too drastically and rushed to the later bedtime when I should have gone at smaller amounts at a time. Ideally I would be fine with him getting up at 6 or 6:30 but when he is up at 4:15 and then I try to resettle and back to sleep it may take all the way until 5:45 or 6am and then I have to wake him by 6:45 anyways.  I am not sure where to go for BT at this point.  He gets up from his afternoon nap at 3:15 or 3:20 so I was thinking that by 7:15 he would be tired out and ready for bed.  However, if he has low sleep needs then quite possibly he may go down later...but when I put him to bed he is content, quiet and puts himself to sleep within 5 minutes. 

So should his bedtime be 6:15???  Seems like that is too early? 

Offline jessmum46

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #25 on: January 28, 2015, 19:15:11 pm »
My feeling is that morning nap is still too early and too long for 11 months  :-\. DS is having 30-35 mins and not quite 8 months yet.  I think if he's having that long in the morning, then a long nap fairly late on the afternoon then yes a 6.15 BT will be too early (he'll be UT because of the late nap) but then a 7/7.30pm BT will be too late because it's been such a long day.  I would probably be thinking of cutting the morning nap more, bringing the long afternoon nap earlier so that you can bring BT earlier without him being UT.  What do you think Marta?

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #26 on: January 28, 2015, 19:39:16 pm »
I am wondering how exactly to get on track.  We had a really bad night last night so he has probably been OT today at daycare.  If he got up today from nap at 3:15 or so how long do I keep him up tonight to get started?  If I go later then I feel like I risk OT, but if I go earlier I feel like I risk UT. 

I can't have him up at 5ish and expect that he will make it to 9:15 or 9:30 and sleep 30 minutes and be okay and not OT....so when and how do I start transitioning?

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #27 on: January 28, 2015, 19:47:40 pm »
I think this is one of those situations where you need to power through a bit of OT to come out the other side.  Not easy I know, been there (a lot).  But an early nap is probably reinforcing the EW, making it harder for you to push out the day.  If he keeps getting the nap at 9am, there's not any reason for him to wake later if you see what I mean.  It will be tough going I imagine but maybe just try to push him 5 mins more every 2-3 days and shorten his nap by 5 mins until you get to something like 9.30-10am. His afternoon nap may need to come a touch earlier as the morning one shortens. 

Do you think that's possible?

Have you read the 2-1 information on the FAQs?

Offline jnduff

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #28 on: January 28, 2015, 19:51:50 pm »
That is definitely possible.  I will work on that in conjunction with his daycare. It is a bit of a struggle to work with daycare on all of this as they like their set schedules etc too...I love my in home daycare provider but at times like this it makes it really difficult.  Suggestions on what to do with BT?  Should I bring in another 15-30 minutes (or not as much) for him to try to get caught up?

I have not read the entire 2-1 information completely.  I will be sure to take a look.

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Re: NW that last a few hours - HELP, I'M EXHAUSTED
« Reply #29 on: January 28, 2015, 20:10:26 pm »
I think it depends on the day, but the case with your son is that his second nap is always at 1pm and finish at 3 most of the time, yes? So after 2h of sleep he may be not interested in early BT. So I would go for normal 7:15 BT, and try earlier one when his second nap was short (you posted that he was cutting in this nap for couple of days)?

Generally what your nursery works for (2:45) sleep per day in my opinion is slightly too much for this age. I know that many LOs are on two naps until 12-18mo but usually these naps sum up to around 2h max. So if you manage to get back on track I would ask nursery to put him down a tad later (15min) and then cap at 30' mark. Would that work for you?

--> wrote it down 2h ago but forgot to post:) and now I are that Katherine advices the same:)))
~Marta