Almost 2 1/2 year old - difficulty getting off to sleep and night waking

[kreamtee]

Hello! I am looking for some advice about our almost 2 1/2 year old. After having received some brilliant advice in the past (I think the last time was when our son was 11 months old) - I am now finding toddlerhood a struggle!

For some months now, my son has been going in and out of phases of needing one of us to be there whilst he goes to sleep, otherwise he comes out of bed and starts throwing toys down the stairs - we go up and give him a cuddle and he is quite for 2-3 minutes and then he starts again. Also, we have got into the habit of taking him into our big bed (just one of us with him) as he wakes up every single night. He did used to just go straight back to sleep as soon as he got into the big bed, but over the last few days he has woken up at about 3am and then taken 2-3 hours to go back to sleep (even if in our bed) - he just lies there fidgeting with his eyes open.

His bedtime is usually 7:30 ish - but can be 8pm - 8:30pm by the time he really goes to sleep. He gets up around 6:15 on a weekday for nursery. He tends to have a nap of about 1 hour at nursery.

I really can't decide if he is undertired (and perhaps need to start dropping his nap - he only naps at nursery and not at home, but when he has too many nap-free days - he tends to be awake for hours at night also) or overtired.

Possibly also he is responding to a change in routine, as hubby has just gone away again with work for a couple of weeks and I notice that he tends to start being more "difficult" generally when hubby goes away, as he likes his routine (he was a classical "touchy baby").

Would love some advice and thank you for listening!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

First of all so sorry for the late reply ( I didn't see this yesterday for some reason. I do think that this sounds like a 1-0 issue. Can you tell me what time he has his nap at nursery please 

Those really long NW ugh  hard to bear. I am going to post you a link with a ton of information about the 1-0, how it can manifest very differently for LO's and the various ways to help the LO. When you have had a good read through it, get back to me and let me know your thoughts.

Unfortunately the 1-0 transition really is the most transitional of all for many LO's as in the best thing to do constantly changes quite often. Are you ready to stop bringing him into your bed when we come up with a plan, and face the APOP at the same time 

Do you know if the nap time at nursery is flexible or set for all LO's 

((HUGS)) Sweetie.x.

The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

[kreamtee]

Thanks so much for the reply!

They tend to sleep (all together) between 1 and 2pm at nursery. He was sleeping for a lot longer as nursery said they were not allowed to wake children, but when this was causing real problems at bedtime, I asked if they could make a lot of noise after about an hour of sleep for Sam - which really helped. So, he has an hour per day 1-2pmish at nursery and nothing really at home at weekend - although he may grab 20mins to 30 mins in the car if we go out around lunchtime (he is very sleepy at bedtime without a nap).

Yes, am very happy to stop bringing him into our bed and I am sure to face APOP, although am not sure what APOP is (sorry!)?

Will read through the link you sent - thanks so much!

x

[kreamtee]

After reading through this... I think Sam is probably undertired at bedtime, so may see if I can ask nursery if they can "make some noise" at about 45 mins instead of 1 hour.

He will probably have a short nap at about 12:30-1pm today in the car, and will try and get him down at 730pm tonight... Should I try gradual withdrawal to get out of his room again whilst he is going to sleep?

Increasing physical activity I definitely think is a good idea - not that Sam isn't active, but he does need some encouragement (given his touchy nature - new environments are difficult and he likes to be carried)..

Does this sound sensible?

Advice on the "coming into the big bed" habit we have would be much appreciated!

[weaver]

I have a touchy baby too - he's 4 now!  Every shift in routine, every little change, still causes a reaction of some sort    Totally recognise the wish to be carried and being slow to get comfortable in new environments.  One thing I noticed with my LO, he didn't want to try his scooter outdoors until I found a small park surrounded by railings.  Then he was very comfortable   that sort of space might help Sam to run about more, if you think he needs to.  I wouldn't feel obliged to go to lots of new places either, touchies love knowing their space!

With his touchiness I'd say some of this is definitely emotional so you need to respond to that emotion, give him lots of physical contact during the day, and especially at BT.

APOP = accidental parenting on purpose

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Honey,

He was sleeping for a lot longer as nursery said they were not allowed to wake children

Eh!? I've never heard the like of that before  I would discuss this further, a nursery is there to follow a parents routine as closely as they can, at least around these parts 

I think what makes this more difficult is that he is up at 6.15 for nursery in the week, so if he is going through the 1-0 and fighting BT, chances are he is going to need his nap for some time yet, and the usual advise would be to shift the time/length of the nap, so talking to nursery about this in the first instance is going to be important Sweetie.

WRT staying with him for him to go over at night, I actually did this with DS at the same age for 4 months!  I tried all kinds, but at that time he just needed me, and on the advise of another BW I decided to see it as precious time I wouldn't have when he was older. In the end I walked out to answer the phone one night and he was asleep when I came back, and that was that from then onward.

I need to give this some more thought Honey, I'm going to wake DS now (yes, how things change  ) so I can get him down before 9 o clock tonight! and I'll be back later. Let me know any thoughts you have.

((HUGS))

x.