chaos after sickness/hospital stay

[dache]

Two weeks ago dd got roseola, her fiver got to 104 and we ended up in the hospital.
While she was sick she only wanted to cuddle with me (and only me!). At night she would sleep a little then will be up, very drowsy, not even moving, just sitting in my lap, leaning on me.
Then when we got in the hospital it became worse. The room we were in had all windows, no walls and no curtains so it was very bright and it was loud, she is fine with this on normal days but when something is bothering her she can not cope with it.
The first night she woke up every hour and calmed down if I hold her in my arms. Second day she was in my arms 24h. Every time I put her down she cried a lot so I had to pick her up. When BT came I rocked her to sleep and then set on the crib and she slept like that. When she woke up Id walk around, rocking her and she`d fall asleep again. I did that all night long. Third day she started getting better and napped on her own, with a bit of settling. During the night I moved our cribs (we both slept in cribs ) next to each other and she settled with hand on chest, which is how I usually settle her.

So I`ve done a lot of apoping. Now she is no longer going to sleep on her own. Before I`d put her in the crib, give her the paci and she would fell asleep fast. Now...

Naps I dont know. Most of the time when I put her in the crib she does not goes to sleep.  I put her down and she is up in one minute, crying. She knows that the paci is only for sleeping and its limited to the crib. So when I go in to do pd she gives me the paci, with a sad look on her face, it makes me feel so bad, or drops it in the crib, meaning she does not want it (and she loves it) and rather stay up with no paci then stay in the crib with the paci. She nasp in the stroller and can get to sleep like that even with out the paci.


Nights are bad too.  Tonight I tried putting her down more then a few times before she was done. Last night my sister took her out of the crib, set with her rocking her a little and then put her down. Two nights ago I tried to calmed her down MOTN with hand on chest but she did not settle like that, she wanted to hold my hand and she calmed down only when I talked to her.So that`s how we spent all night. She wakes 2+ times every night. And on top of that she started waking early in the morning too. She wakes anywhere between 5:30 to 6:30. Bc we are all very tiered I have given her milk(never before 6, to calm her down (or hopefully go back to sleep) but its not always working.


She is not well again, taking antibiotics for chest inflammation. And she has fungal infection on her head that is being treated with antifungal cream and seems to be helping (I hope). 

She is obviously tiered during the day, but does not sleep well, day or night. Everything is a mess. Her routine is not there anymore. Before she she would wu at 7/7.30, nap at 11 for 2-2.5h and bt was  7/7.30. This worked and she started sttn, then she went trough the 8th WW and was had multiple long NWs that were over when she was out of the WW.
I know I have to wait until she is better to actually do ST but I was hoping there is something I can do now.

With early waking, multiple wakings, and her being clingy, fussy and crying during the day Im very tiered. I have help but no use bc she only wants me.

I was thinking of doing WI/WO but not sure what to do.
Hand on chest worked when after she is gone to sleep, and for naps I`d put her down and she will fall asleep, or I`ll have to go in to replug her, maybe did pd once or twice. Before she did not wanted to be taken out of the crib, now she wont calm down unless I do.
Tonight for the last time I put her down, when she got up and started crying I pick her up, gave her the paci and held her in my arms. She struggled at first then rested her head on my shoulder and after a while I put her down and she fell asleep. Is this what is meant by wi/wo?

[dache]

Ok, Im sure that I need to do some ST to help her go back to IS  but Im not sure what 
So Im bumping this for muself 

Since I posted before she has only went to sleep on her own once. And early weakings is defenetly an issue. Now she wakes 6:30is all the time

Anyone has any thoughts how yo deal with this

TIA

[katie80]

Dache, I'm so sorry your post was missed!! How are things going now, the same?

I was thinking if she's not totally well yet, could you nap her in the stroller for a few days to at least try to catch her up? When she falls asleep in the stroller, will she sleep a full nap that way?

If you think you're ready to re-train her, then yes you can use WIWO or GW, whichever you think is best for her personality. Here is a helpful link on those two methods... Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

I'm going to move this over to Sleeping for Toddlers for you, since she's over 1. Let me know what you think hon, happy to hold your hand through this.

[dache]

Ups. I did not realized that I should post in sleeping for toddlers. I thought getting beck on track is what we needed so I posted  posted there. 

I dont know Katie, I`d say things are worse. She can not self sooth
She needs help getting (back) to sleep. I thought if I prolong her A time it might help, and it did but only once or twice.
Yesterday for her nap it took me  a lot to get her to sleep and she napped for only half an hour and that was it for the day. I tried putting her for a cn but she didnt wanted to hear anything about it.
And bt was after 9  I tired putting her down, go in if she cries, do pd, hand on chest. But she gets so upset she holds her breath and her heart seems like it going to explode.
And she woke up many times at night. She settles "easy" for most of the time but once she was so upset I had to do get her out and do shuss/pat. And this kid did not like getting out of the crib even more then she disliked shush/pat. 

I could put her to sleep in the stroller but she only naps for 30-45 minutes. The only place she sleeps fine is the crib.

It seems like major SA. I`d say its because of how things were in the hospital but the few days that we stayed at my mum`s after we got out of the hospital she sttn the first night, and I did pd once, maybe twice the following days.

She is still sick, dr said chest infections is getting better but she is coughing worse every day 
And she is teething too. One is almost out and I`ve noticed her gum is swollen where molars are.   
I know that I can`t ST now. I guess what I`ve done these days  is WI/WO but I havent been consistent.  When she gets too upset I stay with her. Although she does not need me to be there until she falls asleep, not even to get drowsy,  she cries when I leave. I guess she needs me there to the point where she feels safe enough

 I`m just worried about creating bad habits bc I have done so much AP. To me it seems that things are escalating.

[katie80]

Ups. I did not realized that I should post in sleeping for toddlers. I thought getting beck on track is what we needed so I posted  posted there. 

Well, it does make sense to post there. We just encourage all posts for LOs over 1yr to come here, so there is consistency.

I`m just worried about creating bad habits bc I have done so much AP. To me it seems that things are escalating.

(((Hugs))), hon. I get it... it's hard after you've had an IS, but really there's nothing you can do if she needs it, yk. And you did what you had to while in the hospital. She needs her mama.

It definitely sounds like SA, which totally makes sense. And now with teething thrown in on top of it, ugh! I'm assuming you're able to medicate for the teeth? She tends to have rough NWs when she's teething anyway, right?

WIWO is generally recommended for SA, but seeing as she's been so ill and so you can get some sleep too, I wonder if GW wouldn't work better for you. Could you set up a mattress right next to her crib and sleep there for several nights until she's more settled? Then, you can start to gradually move away and eventually out of the room again.

It sounds like she's really OT as well. Even though she won't do a full nap in the stroller, I might use it for 2x45min naps a day to see if you can get her to be not quite so OT at BT. If you do that for 3-5 days, she may start coming around. Unless you think you can get her to take a longer nap in the crib by doing it earlier. We had a blip with DD when we traveled to ILs for Christmas one year. She was also teething her first molars and was a similar age to V. She only napped 45min on the day we travelled and it was enough to throw her into a tailspin of OT and EW. DH took her out in the car for 2x1hr naps, 4hr apart for about 3 days and we did a decent BT. By the 4th or 5th day, she finally slept a good night and to her normal WU.

I don't know, those are just some of my thoughts. What do you think?

[Katet]

Hugs it is hard having a hospital stay with a child. I had a few with the boys when they were little. I found it took at least 4 days for every night they were in hospital for things to settle down, so if they were in 2 nights, then I'd not even hope to see improvement before we'd been home 10 days.

Given how old she is throw in teething & I think it is a take it slowly & probably have to take it pretty slowly & I do think sleeping in the same room as her for a while is probably not a bad idea & look at it being likely that it will take a couple of weeks more to see something like you had before she got sick.

[dache]

Ugh. I thought by this age sleep will be better, if not good.  Or that I would have used to sleepless nights.
Her sleep is affected by everything, sickness, teething...but every time after the phase has passed she will go back to IS. This time its different. I can see and feel it.

I wonder if GW wouldn't work better for you. Could you set up a mattress right next to her crib and sleep there for several nights until she's more settled? Then, you can start to gradually move away and eventually out of the room again.

I was thinking the same last night at bt (which again got to 9 ). It seems that it might work for her right now, although before me being there would have been a destruction.
We live in one bedroom apartment so the crib is in our bedroom. When she has bad nights what I do is move the crib next to the bed, lay on the corner so Im almost next to her and put my hand on her chest.

So I should go to bed when she goes. Stay there all night, for a few nights then move away? I guess the first step would be moving the crib away from the bed, but me still on the bed? Then maybe me sitting on the side of the bed and then out the door (there is just one step distance between the door and the bed)? Or once Im off the bed I should stay next to the door?

Then tackling naps. She fights naps. She is clearly OT but getting her to sleep is another story. The weather is not good and the air pollution is high (although not much here) I have to take into consideration and cant really go out twice. Today dh took her out for a walk and got home just as she had fallen asleep, I moved her to the crib and she continued sleeping.
I could try that.

Or I should just do apop for 2-3 days? Do wind down then go in the room, hold her as long as she needs (drowsy, asleep...) for naps and bt too. To give her some time to rest, catch up on her sleep.

I did not give any meds for teething. I use gel. She had so much meds this past month so I thought maybe I shouldnt. She finishes the antibiotics today. Before she had two different types of antibiotics, plus the meds in the hospital...Im giving her a break. If she is still so bad Ill give her paracetamol on monday.

I found it took at least 4 days for every night they were in hospital for things to settle down, so if they were in 2 nights, then I'd not even hope to see improvement before we'd been home 10 days.

Thanks for this. Its very helpful. We were there for 3 days. But she is so sensitive (and SO! spirited) that I`d add a week more just for that. And then maybe a week more for this cold she has now .


Thanks so much for helping. My sleep deprived dh and I are very grateful. 

[katie80]

So I should go to bed when she goes. Stay there all night, for a few nights then move away? I guess the first step would be moving the crib away from the bed, but me still on the bed? Then maybe me sitting on the side of the bed and then out the door (there is just one step distance between the door and the bed)? Or once Im off the bed I should stay next to the door?

Yes, this sounds like a good plan.  After a few days, I'd move the crib away with you still on the bed, then I'd go sit by the door for a few days, then I'd sit outside the door.

Today dh took her out for a walk and got home just as she had fallen asleep, I moved her to the crib and she continued sleeping.
I could try that.

Or I should just do apop for 2-3 days? Do wind down then go in the room, hold her as long as she needs (drowsy, asleep...) for naps and bt too. To give her some time to rest, catch up on her sleep.

How did it go today after transferring her?  If you're going to APOP, I would go that route rather than holding her, as that will be more difficult to get rid of.  Or, do the exact same GW process as you plan on doing at night.

More (((hugs))), dache.  Hang in there!

[dache]

She napped for 1.30h. I could try to do that for a few days, see if it works.

During the day she is hysterical,throwing temper tantrums like I have not seen, she is hitting her head on the floor 
And with sleep being a mess, its hard to know what to focus on.

Bt was late again, 8.20 tonight. Quite easy though. I tried at 7 but she was not ready so I left her be. At 8 I gave her to finish her bottle, which she did and got drowsy and when I put her down I just gave her the paci and left. She fussed for a few seconds and was asleep. With naps being all over the place I think that maybe she does not have enough A time between the nap and bt. But what should I do if she goes to sleep at 1 and naps for 1-1.5h?!
Her EW are a bit letter this couple of days, she wu at 6.30-6:45. And once it was 7. So I guess that`s better.

Im going to try for earlier nap tomorrow, maybe 11 . Let`s see how that goes.

[katie80]

Sounds like you're making progress!

But what should I do if she goes to sleep at 1 and naps for 1-1.5h?!

I'd keep the same BT, tbh. I would think the overall A for the day and her OTness would make her tired enough to sleep. She's not sleeping that long of a nap, yk. Does she typically need a longer second A?

[dache]

Yes, I think she does 

Night was a bit better, I`d say. She woke up 3-4 times, but did not got up. Just cried till I gave her the paci.
Which I think she is throwing away on purpose now

Its 9:00 am and she was soooo OT I put her down for a nap. It went easy. I am surprised she lasted for so long.

[katie80]

Just cried till I gave her the paci.
Which I think she is throwing away on purpose now

Could be, they tend to all try that at some point. Are there several available to her in the crib? I'd start just telling her to get it and let her take responsibility for it. If you're not ready to do that until she's a bit better, that's ok, but I think that's probably the best way to deal with it.

[dache]

Such a big difference tonight at bt. She went down with out a fuss.
But she has fiver 38.2 so that might made the difference.

Or maybe bc she had a 2h morning nap and a cn around 3. Bt was late again, but bc I gave her a bath to lowerher temp. 

[katie80]

Oh, poor girl.  Hope she feels better soon.  Glad she got some sleep. (((Hugs)))

[dache]

Guess what?
She sttn Wu at 6.15 this morning. I tried to get her to sleep a bit more  but after 20 minutes she was done.
I was also surprised how easy she fell asleep for her nap, at 9 again and naped for 2.5h. And another cat nap around 2.30
Bt was late again and I had to stay with her bc she was crying. But still what great day.
Id like to say we are out of the woods, but I know we are still long way to go. Still this givea me hope.

Bt still is late.  I need to find a routine thar will work in a way that she takes a nap long enough and have enough but A time in the afternoon. She napped at 11 ut she cant stay up until than now.