Sudden very upset early morning wakings

[aozyetis]

Hello all -

My daughter just turned 20 months old and has always generally been a great night sleeper. She has recently (let's say for a few weeks now) started waking up crying hysterically and calling for me or her father in the middle of the night. Usually, it's in the early morning hours, between 4am and 6am. It doesn't happen every night and I'm unsure what's triggering it. She did just begin daycare two weeks ago, but this had happened a couple times even before she began at daycare. She is also getting some of her molars in, so teething could also be a factor, but I'm not convinced that is the reason.

Here's how it happens: all of a sudden she wakes up crying loudly, standing in her crib and crying out for us. We go in to see what is wrong as she's always slept well through the night so the fact that she's so upset makes us feel something must be wrong. She reaches for us and continues crying incessantly. We have picked her up to console her and sit with her for a few minutes, in which time she totally settles down and falls back asleep. We put her back in her crib and she continues sleeping. Sometimes until morning, sometimes only for 30 min or an hour, then wakes up again and the same thing happens again. A couple times we've given her her a sippy cup of milk that she usually has when she wakes up for the day, and put her back down and she goes right back to sleep for a couple hours causing her to sleep in later than usual. One morning she actually asked for the milk. I'm not willing to get into a habit of giving her milk to get her to sleep however, so I generally refrain from doing that and she does often go back to sleep just with us consoling her a bit.

Our issue of course is that we don't want her to get used to us going in to console her, she's always been able to self-soothe and put herself to sleep so not sure why it's different now and why the alarming cry every time. I've wondered if she's having bad dreams? I've also wondered if perhaps in those early morning hours she's waking up hungry hence why she can't get herself back to sleep and hence why the milk helps.

Her daycare routine looks like this (only a couple weeks old):

wake between 6 and 6:30am
sippy of milk
breakfast 7:30am
lunch 11am
sippy of milk just before nap
nap 11:30am (but usually doesn't fall asleep until between 12 and 12:30pm)
usually sleeps for just over an hour, sometimes more, sometimes less - still early days however at daycare
snack 2pm
snack 4pm
dinner 6pm
sippy of milk just before bed
bedtime 7:30pm - 8pm

Prior to daycare and her routine on weekends looks more like the following:
wake 7am (sometimes earlier these days due to the early waking issue)
breakfast 8am
lunch 12pm
sippy of milk
nap 12:30 to 1pm
usually sleeps 2 to 3 hours, wake by 4pm
snack after wakes fr nap
dinner 6pm
sippy of milk just prior to bed
bedtime 7:30pm - 8 pm

As she continues at daycare, I'm not sure if her schedule on the wknd will need to change more to mimic the daycare routine but the 11am lunch/11:30 am nap time is a bit early for us. She also tends sleeps longer if she's kept up a bit longer in the morning. Sometimes however even after a 3 hour nap, she wakes up upset. But this is not always the case, or is it a huge concern of ours. We find if we give her some quiet time to wake up "fully" she's fine.

Any thoughts on what might be causing the early morning wakings??

I should also note that she sleeps with a lovie but if he's not around she tends to sleep just fine as well.

Your help is much appreciated!

Arti

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Sweetie,

It sounds to me like she may be going through the 18 months sleep regression, but late. Some LO's hit it early, some late, but this does sound typical to me. So often cutting molars is part of this regression, and they cause complete havoc. Are you medicating before sleeps, and when she wakes in the night 

I would say from the routine you posted, that she is high sleep needs, is that right  At his age DS had a 13 hour day and a 2 hour nap maximum, so that is a lot of sleep that she was getting, which is super, but the nap may need capping/cutting back. However whilst she is teething and going to be extra tired from NW and the broken sleep, this can be tricky. Here is a link for you in the first instance.

18 month sleep regression support thread

From this you can see what typically is happening with other LO's and also gain extra support.

((HUGS))

x.

[creations]

Sounds like she's OT and has a lot of change going on.
Her pre-daycare routine shows 11hr nights plus 2 to 3hr nap whilst her day care days show more like 10hr nights plus 1 hr nap, so she's losing up to 3hrs sleep per day, that's a lot of missed sleep.
Your weekend routine obviously suits her better but I suppose day care have a set time for putting the kids down for nap? Have you enquired about the possibility of giving her some quiet toys to play with and putting her down for her nap later?

Whilst it seems a shame to shift your home routine to match one which actually suits her less I do think it would be helpful for her to have a similar routine each day. Before you begin to move to that though you could try an earlier BT on day care days?  As she's losing 2 to 3hrs sleep per day I'd go for 2hrs earlier BT if you can, so more like 6pm.  This may seem like a huge struggle to get dinner, bath etc all fitted in to what seems like zero time, especially when you've got a nice routine going at home, but I do think it would be worth a shot.
I'd suggest skipping bath occasionally or if you are home early can you fit bath before dinner? Bring dinner earlier if at all possible to give her some time to eat, offer the sippy milk immediately after dinner (you'd be surprised, mine would take his straight after a big dinner if he needed an early night I did not know where he put it, but at this age she's unlikely to wake from hunger anyway so I wouldn't worry too much about that milk) and basically do all you can to achieve that EBT.

My opinion, she is having developmental dreams which may have negative feelings within them, she's started day care so that's understandable, she is likely OT which can effect dreams (if it is the 18 month regression come a bit late it is all basically the same, developmental dreams causing disturbance and some night anxiety which needs reassurance) and the OT can also cause EW/NW.

we don't want her to get used to us going in to console her, she's always been able to self-soothe and put herself to sleep

I would be confident that she will return to her independent sleep just as soon as she can. She is crying out because she needs you, you are responding and reassuring at each NW which is just what she needs right now. It is highly unlikely that this will become a prop, in my experience kids want restful sleep just like the rest of us, as soon as the OT, or teething, or developmental disturbances pass she will go right back to sleeping through as she did before. she hasn't lost her ability to self sooth, she just needs you during this tricky time.

hth

[Truly Blessed]

Sounds like she's OT and has a lot of change going on.
Her pre-daycare routine shows 11hr nights plus 2 to 3hr nap whilst her day care days show more like 10hr nights plus 1 hr nap, so she's losing up to 3hrs sleep per day, that's a lot of missed sleep.

Aye aye aye, very good point Hun, sorry I missed this extremely important detail, and thanks for joining  with your super advise.x.

[aozyetis]

Thank you both very much for your advice! All makes sense to me. Unfortunately the nap time is set at daycare and while I could perhaps ask them to allow her to nap later, the problem is that all the other kids wake up and so the room becomes noisy and would likely wake her up. Also sounds like what is happening is that she plays in her crib for a bit before falling asleep as it is.

We will def try to move her bedtime up, she does have high sleep needs. We can't get home from work much earlier than 6 so this is tough. But even 7pm is better than 8pm. And we're happy to let her sleep until 7am in the morn even, she just seems to be naturally waking up earlier lately.

I will also read more about the 18-month sleep regression.

Thanks again ladies! Much appreciated.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

A LO's sleep needs are more complicated for many parents when nursery is involved, and there is not much point in stressing about the nap if your hands are tied. As you say, it is within your ability to adjust BT, so I would just watch her and make a judgement call day by day on how she is handling things if you can. You may also be able to APOP a little in the morning with some shushing and keeping her in her cot to help the EW, if there is time. That is if she ever goes back over once awake 

Good Luck, and we're here if you have any more questions.x.

[creations]

The earlier WU may be because she's offered her nap earlier at daycare, a kind of self regulation to keep the same A time. Just because she is losing sleep doesn't mean she is able to sleep later in the morning when her nap is coming earlier. Hope that makes sense.  It's something an older child or adult may manage more easily.
I agree with Vicki, there's nothing you can do about set nap times at day care, offer EBT as far as possible and maybe catch up naps on the weekend (depends on character, some can do catch up naps, some need the routine to be the same 7 days per week).
If you can skip bath (just top, tail and teeth) a couple of nights and do a super easy dinner perhaps you can manage BT at 6.30 a couple of days and 7 the others, just to give a chance to for some extra sleep. Just an idea.

[aozyetis]

Working on the early bedtime... Poor thing is now sick also so that's not helping matters. She definitely gets more sleep at home on the wknds so hopefully that'll help keep her well-rested during this transition period. Makes sense re: the early wake time given her nap is earlier. We actually don't bathe her every day as it is, only every other day, so will def try to get her down sooner when we can. She is moving to a different class at daycare in a week and will be put to nap on a low cot rather than in a crib so I suspect that will affect her naps as well!

[Truly Blessed]

More ((HUGS)) Honey, I hope the daycare change doesn't affect things too much x.

[creations]

It amazes me the number of changes LOs need to go through with day care. I'm sure it will settle down eventually but meanwhile do post if you have more questions or we can support in any way.
Hope she gets over her illness soon x

[aozyetis]

Thanks so much!