Do I need to be by 8mo when he wakes during "training"

[mom2rileyjames]

I'm new here and trying to figure out if I'm supposed to stay by my son's side during the initial weeks of implementing BW. We are on day 7. He is touchy and has had 8 months of either being worn, carried, nursed, or co-sleeping for naps and bedtime.   I rub his back once he lies down (which I  think is merely another prop, but not sure), then I leave my hand on his back for a bit. Then I sit on a stool by his bed for a little bit more, eventually going out of the room after about 20 minutes. Some naps he naps for 2 hours; others 40 minutes.  Am I wrecking BW if I leave the room, and he wakes early and doesn't see me?  I homeschool and have 5 other kids to occupy and keep on track and out of trouble so I don't feel like I have the liberty to stay much longer.

Desperate for help!

Michelle

[becj86]

Sounds like you're pretty much doing gradual withdrawal which is fine, a good way to do it in your circumstances. It's not an issue that he's not seeing you when he wakes providing you go to him when he cries for you when he wakes. BW is about responding, not necessarily constantly being there. The whole point of independent sleep is to be able to put LO to bed and have them go to sleep without needing you, eventually.

Now, re: nap length, that's usually down to the time he's been awake. 45 mins is short, usually due to under tiredness. What's your day looking like at the moment? Just EAS, if you can so we can have a look and sugest some tweaks.

[mom2rileyjames]

Thanks.  I'm thinking it's been overtired; I think I read somewhere that can cause short naps. Here is schedule :

7:00 nursing
7:30 activity
8:40 back to my bedroom for 20 min wind down  (just realized today how over-stimulating our house is, so today was first day for that long of wind down)
9:00 sleeping (AM nap generally just under 2 hours; today he pooped himself awake at 1 hr 15 min)
11:00 nursing
11:30 activity
12:45 wind down
1:00 sleeping (had longer nap today,  perhaps bc I increased wind down time; yesterday was ugly 40 minutes of work for 20 min nap then pd of pupd to get him back to sleep)
3:00 nursing
4:45 wind down
5:15 sleeping  (today was first time in 3 days for this nap)
6:00 activity today -  several days ago slept until 7:00--is that okay to let him sleep till 7?
7:00 nursing and generally some portion of a bottle
7:30 activity if he slept until 7; otherwise  wind down
8:00 wind down if slept until 7; otherwise sleeping
8:30 sleeping
Typically wakes up 45 min after bedtime. I do the pd of pupd, which works well.  Is this happening due to over-stimulation?
10:00 dream feed (doing this right now bc he woke up a 2nd time after 45 min) I see I fell for it tonight, because he fell asleep without much nursing)
Last night he woke at 8:45 pm, 10:30 nursed, 12:30 am, 3:00 nursed, 5:30, 6:45 am

I offer bottles after every nursing session,  but seldom takes until evening.  He is not fond of solids, yet.
Sorry if this is too long.

[becj86]

Ok, that's a great routine for a 4 month old.

He really ought to be taking 2 naps a day by 8 months and those 45 min naps are very likely under tired. Have a read of these links:
What are A times and how do they fit into the EASY plan?
Sample EASY Routines from 0 - 13mths+

That waking shortly after BT is likely over tiredness due to short naps in the say. I would wager that first nap of the day being good length is due to him extending his night with it. When getting an idea of your new routine, try starting off with a base of 12 hr day and 12 hr night. You may have to tweak from there but it will give a better base.

[weaver]

Great advice from Bec - I'd add that since he's touchy, you need to watch for overstimulation and maybe overtiredness when his routine has adjusted to something more appropriate.  My touchy LOVED his routine, so sorting out the right one will probably really help you. 

[mom2rileyjames]

Thanks, Bec. I don't understand what you mean by a 12 hour base, though. Can you explain that?

Michelle

[weaver]

I think she just means that it helps to plan for a 12 hour day/12 hour night - so 7 am to 7 pm or something like that.