Almost 3 year old needs me sitting with him to fall asleep

[MakingMischief]

Ugh. Colin has slipped into bad habits somewhere along the way and it's getting worse.

He was great in his crib but we recently transitioned to a bed and he's having a hard time sleeping now. This has been going on for nearly a month.

He will not go to sleep unless my husband or I am next to him. I sit on the floor next to the bed and he strokes my hair or holds my hand until he falls asleep. Some nights he has trouble settling and tries to chit chat, or crawls around on the bed and tries to crawl on me, but on those nights I just keep reminding him that it's quiet time. He eventually settles down,  but the instant I get up he snaps awake and starts howling. In his crib I'd wait a minute and he'd settle back down but in the bed he gets out and comes looking for us. I lead him back to bed but he is simply bereft unless I sit with him. I can wait 20 minutes after he last stirred but the second I leave he's wide awake. We're getting to the point of spending an hour or more getting him to sleep at night.

His bedtime is 8pm, earlier if he skips his 2pm-3:30 nap. He usually stays in his bed until 1am or so, then he wakes up and crawls in with us (my next step is to wean him of that). He usually wakes up between 7 am and 7:30.

Advice? I'm currently pregnant with #2 and the thought of dealing with this plus the newborn every night (I'm usually the only one home at bedtime) is giving me panic attacks.

[nevinsmama]

Can you do a sort of a GW plan and move farther and farther away, eventually getting back out the door? Has he been an IS before? If so, you might consider WIWO, but GW could be less stressful. What do you think?

[nona]

i had to do major tough love when my DS did this and we had to put gates in his door way. we made a sleep chart that we implemented (this was suggestion by his preschool teacher) and when he got out of bed we would not go into room but we would tell him "itime for bed" outside of the gates. the gates were clear and we stacked one on top of the other bc he either crawled over or crawled under. it was hard but we started on a friday night and by the next weekend he was STTN again. the first 2 nights were the hardest. the rest of the nights, we just had to say "time for bed" and he would go right back to sleep. i think i made my DH do the first 2 shifts over the weekend and i took over the rest of the week since i'm a SAHM. oh, and let me say i tried WIWO and GW and sleeping in his room and sleeping outside his room for WEEKS and i was so depressed. i mean i was sleeping on a mattress outside his room and he would still need assurance through the night that i was there! we were EXHAUSTED.

i have my almost 3 yo dd still in a crib w/ a crib tent on it and i am NOT looking forward to transitioning her to a BGB. i have no intention of doing it any time soon!!!

then when i got pregnant with my DD, DS started climbing into bed with us in the MOTN. I don't remember how/why this happened but he would sneak in on my DHs side who wouldn't take him back up. He said he was scared. anyway, he was much older than your LO and so we were able to use rewards, walkie talkies, and would check on him every few minutes as he was going to sleep. He was 4.5 though.

So, with my DS, we had to be pretty tough. and with my DD, who is having a bit of sleep issues right now, i am using the more tough approach. she wants us to stay in the room until she falls asleep but it takes her like an hour to fall asleep. if we just say its time for bed and leave the room, she cries for less than a minute and then falls asleep. BUT, she is in a crib with a crib tent so she can't crawl out.

you know your kid best and sometimes you have to try different approaches to see what works.

[MakingMischief]

He was a difficult sleeper as a baby but for a good year he slept completely independently. Before we transitioned to the bed we could put him in the crib and he'd go to sleep while I sat in the room in a rocking chair and it would rarely take more than maybe 30 minutes.

Last night I tried sitting in the rocking chair and he crawled to the end of the bed and howled for me until I sat down next to him.

I think I'm going to try the gradual withdrawal method. Once we get him less dependent on us to fall asleep I'll start working on him staying in his bed (we've had success with lights on a timer in the past) I've got eight months to get him sorted so I should be OK.

[nevinsmama]

Keep us posted! I know it is tough when they hit these lovely bumps, hang in there!

[Khalam's Mama]

I had luck leaving for short periods, I told him I was just popping to go toilet, plug my phone in, check dinner have a drink etc and would be back soon and he would fall asleep in the time I was gone. I always went back to check though.