Author Topic: New night wakings at 10 months - help!  (Read 664 times)

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Offline chanipet

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New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« on: February 11, 2015, 03:43:44 am »
My LO is just now 10 months, and has been having 1 NW per night for about 3 weeks now (with maybe 3-4 random STTN). 

Here is his schedule:

Up and E @ 6:45-7am (we will wake him if he's not up shortly after 7), weaned from BF about 1 month ago, now takes 5-6 oz bottle (7 oz offered)
A @ 7-8am
E @ 8am (solids breakfast - usually greek yogurt, sometimes a little banana)
A @ 8:30-9:30 (playtime, books, go for a walk)
S @ 9:30/9:45 for an hour (we've started limiting this nap to an hour otherwise he is not sleepy for the afternoon nap, but is definitely NOT ready for one nap)

E @ 10:30/11 (although he usually refuses this bottle, ~6 oz are offered)
A until lunchtime
E @ 12:00-1:00 (solids, usually takes a while as he likes to feed himself)
A
S @ 2:00/2:30 (if 11am bottle refused, we give it to him before nap; also trying to limit this nap to 1.5 hours and keep him to 2.5 hours of daytime sleep total, never letting this nap go past 4pm)

E @ 4pm (only if he didn't have a bottle before nap)
A
E @ 5/5:30pm (solids, err on the earlier side if he didn't have a 4pm bottle)
A
E @ 7pm (bottle - usually takes 5 oz, 8-9 oz offered)
A @ 7:30 (bathtime)
S @ 8pm (and given any remaining oz from 7pm feed)

We usually put him down awake for bedtime and he'll settle himself to sleep within 5-20 min.  We don't usually put him down awake for naps because it can take him so long to settle himself during the day that I worry its eating too far into his actually sleep time - does this mean we should be pushing that 9:30 nap back even further?  And then cutting down the afternoon nap?  His A times are very active so I don't think he's not rested enough during the day.  Unless he's strapped in his high chair or stroller, he's probably crawling/cruising/pulling himself up on whatever he can get a handle on.  Occasionally he will sit with his books and soft toys, but that's usually only for 10-20 min stretches.

My theory is that he wakes at night when he gets too much daytime sleep, which is why I'm now trying to limit him to 2.5 hours of daytime sleep total.  The time of his NW always varies - anywhere from 11pm-4am (although its been on the earlier side of that range lately).  When I go to comfort him it usually just takes a quick snuggle, sometimes giving him the pacifier again, and then settling him in his crib and he'll put himself back to sleep (all of this takes no more than 10 min).  I try to make sure I don't linger with him because I don't want to create any AP habits.  He's also gotten some teeth, but he doesn't seem to need any tylenol to settle himself back to sleep for the NWs, so I don't think he's waking from discomfort.  I also don't usually change his diaper so its not the wetness. 

I think most of what I'm doing is Baby Whisperer approved, so I'm feeling a little confused about why these NWs are sticking around  ???.  Please let me know if there's anything else I can add about him to fill in any blanks.  I'm so grateful this forum exists... Thank you in advance!


Offline Eva2014

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2015, 21:40:28 pm »
Hi Chanipet,

My daughter is/was doing the same thing she's also 10 mo too. The last 2 nights have been better - she's only waking once but before that she was up at least 3 times a night and was so hard to put to sleep. The changes that we have made recently are:

1) we have always patted her to sleep (she has slept through the night from 6 weeks up until she turned 9 mo) so we thought that her separation anxiety is causing her to need us at night too. About a week and a half ago we stopped patting and instead reverted back to using her seahorse which plays calming music (we used it when she was between 3-7mo) and just rest our hand on her lightly (no patting)

2) We ensure now that she doesnt sleep past 5pm

3) limit her daytime naps to 2-2.5 hrs max

So far so good... xx

Offline katie80

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2015, 01:43:45 am »
Welcome to the forums! :)

We usually put him down awake for bedtime and he'll settle himself to sleep within 5-20 min.  We don't usually put him down awake for naps because it can take him so long to settle himself during the day that I worry its eating too far into his actually sleep time - does this mean we should be pushing that 9:30 nap back even further?  And then cutting down the afternoon nap? 
Yes, I think this is very telling. He likely can't get himself to sleep at those nap times during the day because he's not quite tired enough. For how long have you been cutting the first nap to an hr and daytime sleep to 2.5hr? You may need to push the morning nap til 10am and cut it to 40/45min.



Offline chanipet

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2015, 02:56:25 am »
Thanks for sharing your experiences and insight, Eva2014 and katie80!  It's been a week or so since we've cut down to a 2.5 hour max and I don't think its making a difference.  There was one day where he only got 2 hours, and he still woke up that night as well.  The days I've had to wake him from naps to keep the sleep limited he is so out of sorts and cranky, that I don't think it can be good for him.  Now I'm starting to think I've caused a NW habit via AP from when he was teething.  For the NW I've been going to him almost immediately, and then rocking him for a few minutes.  As soon as I walk in the room he stops crying, so I think he's just been using it as a tool to get me to come to him.

Have either of you (or anyone reading this for that matter) ever tried CIO?  I'm starting to think I might have to go that route (perhaps the Ferber method with increased increments of time between comforting?) and I am already dreading the guilt and worried he'll feel abandoned.  :'(

Offline katie80

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2015, 04:36:29 am »
Hmm, that does sound like it might have become a habit, but in no way does BW support CIO or Ferber's CC methods. If you don't want him to feel abandoned, then don't use them! Here are some reasons we don't support them (in addition to the fact that Tracy Hogg, the original Baby Whisperer, felt it broke the bond of trust between parent and baby):
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201407/parents-misled-cry-it-out-sleep-training-reports
Research on why 'cry it out' and 'controlled crying' is NOT recommended!
Cry it out (CIO): 10 reasons why it is not for us

We would be happy to help you use a method we support, such as WIWO (walk in, walk out) or GW (gradual withdrawal), that will teach your DS to go back to sleep with your support and presence so he doesn't feel abandoned. Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

WRT the nap cutting, I do think it's best for him to only get 2.5hr at this age. That's very age-appropriate and may even be on the high side of sleep. You might consider bringing bedtime a little earlier, to 7:30 if he seems more tired from the nap cuts.

HTH!



Offline chanipet

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2015, 22:00:00 pm »
Mamas!  Last night I tried Tracy's Wake-to-Sleep method and IT WORKED!  AaaaaAAAAAAHHHH!!!! (that's supposed to be the angels singing)

I was starting to notice a pattern in timing (between 12:30 and 2 am), so I set my alarm for midnight and went in to rub his head and belly just enough to make him stir and let him know I was there (I don't think he ever fully roused) and then left.  I also did it before I went to bed myself around 10pm (so twice last night) - because I wanted him to feel as though I check on him and that he didn't need to cry to get me to come in.  And it WORKED!  He slept until 7:15 this morning!  I slept horribly because I was waiting for him to wake up the whole night, but who cares!  He slept through the night!  I'm going to do it again tonight a little earlier than last night, and keep moving it earlier each evening until we get pretty close to bedtime.

Thanks so much for your support!  I really didn't want to resort to CIO.  Fingers crossed this keeps working and in a few days we'll have it totally kicked.  I'll keep you updated. 

Offline katie80

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2015, 00:44:24 am »
Great news!! FX you get more nights like that. FWIW, I don't know that you need to bring it earlier like a DF. Tracy advised to do it at the same time for 4-7 days and then see if the waking is gone. If not, try for another week and if the waking is still there then it's likely a routine issue.

Keep us posted! :)



Offline chanipet

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2015, 04:20:41 am »
Thanks for the clarification katie80!  I'll keep the WTS at midnight then.  Honestly I just vaguely remembered that section from when I read the book several months ago, but hadn't had to use the method yet and just skimmed it to refresh.  Thanks so much for the support!

Offline katie80

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Re: New night wakings at 10 months - help!
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2015, 17:50:41 pm »