23.5 months old won't sleep unless being hold at bedtime

[yujai]

It has been a 2-3 weeks (just recovered from month long sickness) that our son who used to able to sleep by himself, now would cry for cuddle and needs to be hold to fall asleep. He is calm when my husband leaves the room but started to cry 15-20 minutes later. Today my husband decided to ST him, we told him no more holding to sleep the whole day to prep him,  but ended up immediate crying after pd. My husband sat by the crib for 30 min and crying was no where getting less. He ended up putting our son down on carpet to sleep and he walked out. Our son fell asleep in less than 15 min.

Any suggestions?? Our son naps totally fine in crib.

[creations]

It can take a while after illness for toddlers to become comfortable to sleep independently again. The illness may have brought on some SA, but even if it has not and he is 100% over the illness, he is approaching his birthday which is a prime time for a good bought of sleep disturbance and separation anxiety. So there are two quite common causes for SA which may be having a real impact on how your child is feeling at BT.

Sorry I am not sure what you mean by

He ended up putting our son down on carpet to sleep and he walked out.

Why was he on the carpet instead of the crib? Have I misunderstood something? Was your DS still crying?
Please know that at BW forums we believe in responding to your child's cries to maintain the bond of trust. Whether a child is suffering a phase of SA or not we do not agree with leaving a child to cry alone.

I suggest you sit by the crib when your son goes to bed, place a hand on him if this is helpful, and continue to reassure with your voice. A key phrase can be very useful to repeat such as "I'm right here, everything is fine, go to sleep" or simply "it's sleepy time".  There is a world of difference between a child crying with a parent present and a child crying alone.

It may also be helpful to look at your routine. If he is UT for BT this can cause a lot of fussing and call backs, needing extra help to sleep despite his ability to sleep independently for naps and for BT prior to his illness. If he is stalling BT by 15-30 mins I would probably start the BT routine 15 mins later and see if BT is calmer or look at the whole day routine and see if anything needs a change.

[yujai]

Sometimes when he had night waking my husband will sleep with him on the floor (carpet). There were a few times my husband picked him up and told him to wait in his room so hubby can go get water and come back to sleep with him. Our son already fell asleep by the time he came back. He wasn't crying when my hubby walked out the room yesterday and yes we don't left him alone crying either. My husband was already sitting close to crib, but he just didn't stop crying and nowhere being lower in volume.

So do you think this may be a SA thing? But he has no problem napping alone..

[creations]

Oh ok so DH had lifted him out to co-sleep on the floor which had stopped your DS crying.

It does sound like SA, yes, although there is a chance it is routine related (post your EASY if you like). Naps and nights can be totally different so it is perfectly normal to see SA just at BT and not other times during the day or even for nap time.  In my experience and seeing so so many threads of a similar nature LOs do have a tendency to have very disturbed sleep around their birthday and half birthday.  These are times of developmental leaps too. Your LO may be having a language leap around now or working on another skill which might not be apparent right now but suddenly one day you see a new skill or hear new words/short sentences and the sleep goes back to normal with almost no intervention.  Toddlers who have been able to sleep independently suddenly seem like they have lost the ability, they haven't, they are just going through a tricky time and when it passes their independence returns.

Of course so many of use worry about forming bad habits during these times, such as co-sleeping on the floor.  The chances are it will not form a bad habit, or if it does become habitual it will be so much easier to break once the developmental leap is over.
Many people choose to go with the flow around these times, give their toddler the extra time and comfort they seek - there is never any harm in re-enforcing the parent child bond.  If you feel you really need to be active in keeping him sleeping in his cot you can also take steps to do this - he may shout and cry but one of you stays in the room with him to give physical or verbal reassurance until he sleeps. If he stands you lay him back down. Eventually with your support he will sleep in his cot again.

I would urge you to make a plan of action which you know you can stick with though (before you begin) as it would be unfair to LO and more frustrating for you and DH if you let LO cry in the cot for a long time and then choose to lift him out to co-sleep, it is confusing and just not worth letting him cry that time.
I hope this makes sense. Please do ask if you need clarification.