15 mo old sleeps like a newborn. We are spent!

[katie80]

Yes, definitely a good start... well done all of you! Hope the nap goes well.

Viktoria, thanks for sharing your experience. I agree Kate, I've got the 'poor last baby' syndrome too, and have been making excuses for teething, etc. But, more and more I'm thinking I just need to do it, because I'm starting to think once this last of the first eight teeth is through (the gum is currently bulging), I'm sure the first molars will be right behind. And, a feed isn't helping C to go back to sleep in the morning when he's OT, so there's really not much point anymore (besides us both enjoying the cuddle ). Anyway, this thread is not about us, but it's always good to know others have gone through it, so thanks. I did it with G of course, but he's super textbook and easy-going where as C is feisty, a mixed bag of temperaments, and such a screamer!!

[Florena49]

Babies and sleep will never be perfect, i have made excuses for a while, oh he is teething, under the weather, but he just need some comfort. If im honest, i loved breastfeeding, closeness witj tje baby, everything that comes with it. What i have found is that actually Os is much more cuddly now! He will just come up and cuddle, ask to sit next to me on the sofa and will put his head on my growing tummy and stroke me. Its a different type of closeness, but you know what its even better, he is doing it conciously not just because he is in a habit of sucking on my boobie.
Btw when weaning all feeds, i have put plasters on my breasts and during the day showed him that no more milky there and mummys boobies are sore.  Day times were no problem at all, he found the whole thing amusing.
Btw he sttn first time in his life last nightx

[cath~]

I'm losing track of the days (and nights) here, esp with the time difference

Have you had a second night? How did it go?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

I'm losing track of the days (and nights) here, esp with the time difference

That always happens to me around here!

So last night was the second night. I was at work until 1am. He said she was unsettled a bit at BT (we have just run out of frozen breast milk) so when she woke at 1140 he gave her some coconut milk. He went in one other time at 3am for just a couple of min and didn't have to pick her up or anything. Which all sounds good. I slept in the basement.

Trouble is, he's not 100% sure she didn't wake any other times. I just hope she's not crying and he doesn't wake up. i'n not sure how to handle that. I really don't want her to CIO but I know sometimes he's hard to wake. He thinks if she was really crying for more than a min or two that he would wake up. The monitor is on full volume near his head.

Nap today I went for 1050 (can't remmeber if I wrote about nap yesterday but I did 1050 and she slept over 2.5 hours!) and it was only 1h20. Clearly too early if her night isn't bad. So hard to get it just right! I put her in the carrier for another 40 min at least.

We shall see how tonight goes! Overall I think we are headed in the right direction, anyhow

[jessmum46]

That's great . If she really needed you I'm sure she would have kept crying until someone came. 

I'd set nap at no earlier than 11.30am - set times are the way forward for many LOs by this age rather than thinking A times x

[cath~]

Sounds like night 2 went really well too! Hope it's continued

I'm sure your DH would wake if she were crying really loudly for more than a few secs. Now she's sleeping better though, would you consider not sleeping in the basement if it helps put your mind at ease?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Phew. So I spent a couple of nights on the couch performing the role of human baby monitor. He was definitely not waking every time she woke. I went up there a million times to tell him she was crying and he was dead asleep. Sigh. She did a 2h NW for a few nights in a row.

Last night she only woke twice. We decided to put the futon mattress in her room and I would sleep in the bedroom and DH in her room. But when she woke at 3 I went and fed her. Whoops. I was half asleep and didn't realize what I was doing! So tonight we will go back to no milk between 11 and 6. But at least she did a little better.

I didn't think this would take this long.

[Florena49]

How many nights has it been? What does your daytime routine look like?

[cath~]

Hang in there.  I'm sure if you're consistent with not feeding you'll get there. Have you fed before 11 much? Dyt that could be confusing her?

X

[jessmum46]

Hugs, you must all be tired and  to DH snoozing so soundly - how do men do that?! 

I still feel no feeds at all is the least confusing at this age (she doesn't know what time it is - no feeds at night is just more consistent yk?) but you have to do what you think is right.  Here to support either way xx

[katie80]

(((Hugs))), Kate.  It's so hard.  Is she still getting molars?  Is it possible those are playing into some of the longer NW?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Ugh. So it's been I think 8 nights now?

We have been feeding before 11. Maybe that does need to go. Argh.

Daytime looks like:

550/620 (anywhere between)- A
11/1130- S
1h20 nap, almost always. I try to APOP a bit more when I'm home and usually get maybe another 20 min
6/615- S

Up anywhere from 2-a gazillion times a night.

Last night she slept until 12. DH fed her then (not really sure why, I was at work :/). Then she slept until 330. He went and laid on her floor and she pretty much cried on and off until close to 6 when I went in and fed her and tried to get her back down but no dice. She nearly fell asleep nursing at 1020. Just put her down at 11.

I think teething has to have something to do with it at least, although it seems like she is ALWAYS teething. She has one that just broke through the other day and the same one on the other side is bulging like crazy today. He gave meds at bedtime last night but didn't remember to redose.

DH is SO frustrated. He's so sleep deprived and is just SO cranky. I really don't know what to do. Maybe we do need to just drop all feed between 6 and 6. That' going to be so hard for her (and hard on my work days since she doesn't get as much milk in the daytime) but we can't go on like this. He's struggling to be nice to her now. It makes me sad. I work today and tomorrow, evening shifts, and then I'm off a couple of days. I think I'll tell him I'll do the NWs for a few nights. I'm hardly sleeping more than he is anyhow. Although he does let me sleep in in the mornings for a while when I need to work since I honestly need at least some sleep to feel safe at work. :/

I just thought she would be getting better by now. It was already bad to begin with and now it's worse with no end in sight. I know we haven't been perfect (like I fed her at 3 the other night in my half asleep state, forgot to give meds last night etc) but still.

[Florena49]

Hugs Kate

I know its hard work and sleep deprivation isnt easy. If im honest i would abandon all night feeds, at this age they dont understand time and as far as she is concerned you are feeding her. Its a bot easier with a smaller child in terms of time, as technically you are just stretching out feeds, but your LO doesnt actually need to eat at night. I think you will make progress if uou dont feed. There is no guarantee that she will be sleeping through the night and u will still het night wakings, but then you can safely say that she isnt waking for food and have a play with a routine. I think with the bad nights you are all tired and its difficult to adjust your daytime routine.

[nona]

((Hugs))

i think you should drop all the feeds after you put her down (assuming you BF her at bedtime)? When i was weaning night feeds, I would nurse and then read a book or brush teeth so my kids would not associate it with sleep anymore.

when she cries during the night, how quickly do you run up to settle her? if you aren't feeding her how are you settling her? (sorry if you've already asked this)

in all honestly, i tried all sorts of nice ways to get my kids thru sleeping issues (GW, WI/WO, etc) but being firm, consistent and dropping feeds cold turkey was what worked.  my kids are like those books "if you give a mouse a cookie" and then i'm doing all sorts of crazy things to get them to sleep.

another thing  - I was able to work on my DD STTN when my DS was OOT  - staying with the grandparents. could grandparents watch your other 2 for a few days? it made it so much easier.

(just so you know, i'm having nap/BT issues with my 3 yo now so things aren't perfect over here! things are about to get serious!!!)

[katie80]

Not much more to add, but just (((hugs))), for you and DH. I get the frustration... I've felt the same with Charlie and after I've finally gotten him to sleep have gone back to bed and cried for forgiveness because I've felt so angry. Sleep deprivation is awful!

I do think cold turkey is likely the way to go, if you're ready for it. Some kids obviously go for keeping one feed and not waking other times, but seeing as you haven't had much progress yet, that may be a reason.  I also think it's almost impossible to get rid of all NWs when teeth are erupting.  I struggled to do it with G, and he is very easy-going/textbook. Once the teeth were through, it was quite simple (the 2-3 day struggle and done).  So, I agree with Viktoria, you may be able to get rid of the feeds, but not all the NWs. I've been up with C for over an hr the past couple nights and he really tries to settle (goes quiet for long periods of time), but struggles to actually get himself to sleep. Then, a few times he laid down, he started trying to chew my hand, so I know he's having trouble settling because his teeth hurt (he's also quite whiny during the day ).

That was a ramble, I guess, but just wanting to support you.