Author Topic: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!  (Read 1352 times)

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Offline Aschrammeyer

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8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« on: February 16, 2015, 09:27:58 am »
This is my very first post so I do apologise if I make no sense.

Our little boy will be 9 months old in 2 weeks and we have had terrible issues with his sleep for the past 4-5 weeks. He used to be an excellent sleeper - would go down at 7pm and would wake between 4-5am fora breastfeed then sleep for another few hours. Day sleeps have always been very good and consistent too.

So as I said the issue started 4-5 weeks ago and started with day sleeps. He would be completely exhausted but as soon as I put him down to sleep in his cot he would become a live wire and just want to play, moving around his cot and carrying on. We would battle for 2 hours or more just to get him to sleep. Some days only having one sleep or none because he would just refuse. Then a week or so later the nights started being affected. During the night though he goes to bed and was sleeping for 2-3 hours then wakes up crying and from there it is wake ups every 45 mins - 1 hour!
But now as soon as he goes to sleep he will be asleep for an hour or 2 then awake every hour or less and awake for the day around 4-5am.

When he wakes, he wakes up crying and we can see him on the monitor moving around in his cot and out from his covers. He's only started commando crawling in the last 3 weeks and moves towards the same spot in his cot with each wake up - almost as if he is trying to work out how to stand up in his cot. Initially we put the issue down to teething as he was cross cutting and cut his 3 top teeth all at once - the 4th top tooth is still sitting waiting to cut through and very close but has been that way for weeks too.
Our next thought was sleep regression (8-10 months) as he has mastered a fair few new skills recently and all at once, he's also currently in a wonder week leap with 6 days to go.

When we try and resettle him he just gets more hysterical. We rarely have success with resettling him in his cot (he usually just screams more), if we pick him up he will almost instantly settle but as soon as we try and put him back down he will scream the house down. The only way we can get him to settle and back to sleep is for me to nurse him. I have always nursed him to sleep for bedtime but he is capable of self settling and has done on many occasions. Lately to get him to have sleep during the day I have had to nurse him also as I know sleep promotes sleep but that doesn't help if he doesn't sleep. We always attempt to settle him first before I nurse him, or dh brings him to bed after multiple times resettling as he is so tired but as soon as he brings him into bed he expects a feed from me.

We don't have any particular routine as he always wakes in the mornings at different times. But I always try and get him down for a nap 2 hours after waking in the morning and same for after his 2 day naps. I have tried to extend the awake times to 2.5 hours but he is completely exhausted, rubbing his eyes and crying because he is so tired. He used to sleep for 1.5 hours twice a day when taking naps but would be lucky to sleep for 1 hour in his cot at the moment unless I cuddle him while he sleeps. We try and have him in bed each night between 7 and 7.30.

To me it feels like sleep regression but I just don't know! Please help! We are beyond exhausted and our little boy needs sleep too. Thank you for any advice you can offer.


Offline Aschrammeyer

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2015, 09:36:43 am »
I should also add:

He is breastfed - both sides. Refuses to be fed by bottle
Does not take a dummy/pacifier. Never has.
Doesnt have a lovey but we are wanting to introduce one.
He has been on solids since 6 months and we are doing baby led weaning and doing amazing at it.

Offline Aschrammeyer

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2015, 04:31:24 am »
Can anyone help?

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2015, 05:31:13 am »
Hi hun. Sorry that you haven't got a response yet. I've had a read through your post and yes, the first thing that clearly stood out was that his A times are extremely low for his age. By 9 months, he should be doing around 3.5 or more.
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!!

It is great that this routine worked for you'll but yes, the wonder week and the sleep regression at this point, is definitely affecting things and it is all the more important to stretch A times at this point. It seems to me like he is definitely under tired for his nap and since you usually breastfeed him to sleep, this might not be as apparent (or did I misunderstand that?) Then again, even though the first nap wasn't that great, he is still not tired enough for nap 2 leading to nap refusal. And so finally by the end of the day, he is extremely over tired, which is clearly indicated by the wakings soon after going to bed, as well as waking earlier in the morning.

I would start by increasing his A times. This is key. You can gradually add 10-15 minutes every few days and hold at that time. This should sort out naps. When he is napping properly, that should help with the OT, and nights should go back to normal. I have read that in Leap 6, they behave like newborns again. Do you think that is why he needs a breastfeed to go back to sleep?Just a thought.

Another point is - If you feel that he is extremely tired and you are unable to extend A times due to this,  then maybe you can APOP (accidental parenting on purpose) the first nap. Once he is well rested from that, then you can try to stretch the time for the next nap. How does that sound?

We are in Leap 6 too, at the moment. Right under the storm clouds. It is during these regressions/developmental leaps that routine problems become very apparent. But I do think that you will be able to get things back in control without much trouble. Fingers crossed for you.






Offline Aschrammeyer

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2015, 09:15:13 am »
Thank you so much for your response!

Yes! It's like he is newborn again! He can be so extremely dead tired where he will be crying and fussing but as soon as he hits that mattress he is awake and wanting to party.
I have done some reading and can see that his A times are very off, will have to extend slowly as I think he will struggle a bit...

So it does sound like sleep regression to you? Also accompanied with the awake times being off? Im going to work on your suggestions for the rest of the week and hopefully it will make some difference to his night. Then to just get him to wake a little later. It's hard because he can be awake for 1 - 1.5 hours and start have strong tired signs and I just don't want to get him ot but in saying that as soon as I try and get him down he is ut and wanting to play.

This morning after waking early for a feed and I asked dh to put him back into bed awake on his way out the door to work, he mucked around as usual for 20 odd minutes just going from one end of his cot to another and then finally settled himself to sleep. Slept for 30 minutes and woke crying but before I could even stand up to go to him he went back to sleep and slept for another hour and 15 minutes!! Couldn't believe it! The rest of the day was a right off though as we had to venture out and he refuses to sleep in the pram or carrier but will sleep in the car for 5 minutes or so.

I know that he can self settle and I don't want to get him used to being fed to sleep for every sleep as he used to self settle during the day prior to this just fine but has had trouble since all this started and a lot of what I read just said offer extra comfort and feedings and do whatever you have to do so that all of us get rest. Unfortunately that is the only way at the moment.


Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2015, 15:12:58 pm »
Hope things work out. Keep me updated:)






Offline Aschrammeyer

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2015, 20:34:02 pm »
Just reporting back on how the first day/night went.

The longer awake time was a success and I was able to stretch him out to 3 hours each time - he was showing strong tired signs after 1.5 hours though but I was able to put him down awake and pat his back for 1-2 mins and he drifted off without any trouble. His first sleep was 1 hour 45 mins and the second 1.5 hours.
He woke from his last sleep at 4pm and I had him in bed by 730pm last night but we still had multiple wake ups. The first wake up was at 1052pm so not so early but still not a long stretch. We couldn't get him back down until 1158pm and then he woke at 213am, 340am (feed back in bed 450 as he mucked around and also had to change dirty nappy) and then awake at 630am.

I'm not sure what to do now. 😞

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2015, 03:15:23 am »
Why the sad face? That sounds like great progress to me. You were able to get him to sleep without nursing and he did long naps. Yes, he did wake after bed but 4 times is a lot less than 9. Everything won't fall into place instantly but if you keep doing this consistently, it should get sorted out.

Do you think maybe 3.5 hours to bed is too long? My DD would not have been able to manage that.






Offline Aschrammeyer

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2015, 19:35:06 pm »
True! After posting that I thought 'hang on this kid hasn't had sleep like this for sometime, so it will obviously take a little bit to get back to normal or close to normal'

Yesterday was great once again with day sleeps. I'm still feeding him before his sleeps (and I should have mentioned that) but when putting him into bed he is awake and drifting off on his own. I wanted to work on one problem at a time haha once sleep is better we will work on our next issue. He went down awake last night and made a bit of a peep as I left the room but was asleep in 5 minutes.
3 hours seems to be enough for him at the moment and he is really getting tired by the time 3 hours is up.

Last night was bed at 0730 (we were trying for 7pm which I think should be bedtime but dh was mucking around a bit) I do think 7pm is perfect for him or he is getting too tired.
He woke at 1.11am had a feed and back to bed.. Then woke at 6am!! He had done a poo so probably would have slept longer if he didnt have a dirty nappy. We tried changing him and putting him back to bed but he doesn't look like he will go back to sleep. Should I put him back to bed or should I leave him awake then?
I can handle that though. Excellent progress on the night!!

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: 8.5 month old waking 9+ times a night! Help!!
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2015, 08:58:08 am »
Good to hear all the progress you have made:) Hope it continues this way