What to do about unexplained night wakings?

[faithrawley]

My LO has just turned 1 year old.  I could count the number of times on one hand that he has slept through the night without waking up. I know it's not hunger because I stopped nursing him in the night when he was 8-9 months old.  He goes down for the night at about 7pm and doesn't really wake up till between 6-7am.  He falls asleep on his own; we don't rock him or stay with him till he falls asleep and I don't nurse him to sleep.  But in the night at least once he will wake up, not wanting to be awake, stand up in his crib and now because he's used to it, wait for someone to come and lie him back down again.  How can I help him to transition out of this habit without just letting him cry it out?  We use PUPD if he's fussy when he's supposed to be sleeping but in this situation I'm still having to get up every night to lie him back down.  Not sure how to help him to learn how to do this himself and go back to sleep without just leaving him to it and letting him cry.

[newkidontheblock]

What's your routine like at the moment, hun? Have you tried Wake to sleep with him? If not, that's something you could try out. How to address habitual wakings (w2s and other methods)

You can also read through these links and see if anything stands out
10 reasons (other than hunger) a baby can wake at night
Another reason (other than hunger) night wakings can occur

[faithrawley]

I think we have a pretty good routine for the first part.  He has a morning nap usually 3-3 1/2 hours after waking in the morning (sometimes this gap is longer or shorter depending on what else we have going on that day).  Same A time between morning and afternoon nap (I usually time the afternoon nap based on wake up from morning nap).  For naps he falls to sleep himself.  Nap times can range from 30 mins - 2 hours depending on how tired he is.  His average nap time is 45 mins so I wonder whether he's not getting long enough sleep in the day but when I've tried to encourage him to go back down to sleep if he's woken early from a nap it's almost impossible.

He goes to bed at 7pm every evening and we do bath, story time and milk every day with him.  I'm not sure the wake-to-sleep technique would work for him because he doesn't wake at the same time every night.

From the other options you posted it could be to do with day time naps, being over tired at bedtime, certainly teething is a factor.  But I would have thought those would have been one off causes and not regular occurrences.

[newkidontheblock]

From the other options you posted it could be to do with day time naps, being over tired at bedtime, certainly teething is a factor.  But I would have thought those would have been one off causes and not regular occurrences.

Not really one offs. The over tiredness can accumulate over time. However, in your case, I feel that your wakings are routine related- basically a result/combination of not enough A time and too much/not enough day sleep. Your wakings seem to be caused by under tiredness. 3.5 A is quite low for a one year old. I would think 4 hours+ would be more appropriate with one long nap and  a CN- that , either short am nap + long pm or vice versa, depending on which is easiest to get. What do you think?

[faithrawley]

You definitely could be right.  But I guess my question would be why has this been going on the whole time, not just now but even when he was younger and did still need 2 or more naps.
I do sometimes think that 3 1/3 hours is too short and other times he's really ready to go to bed at that point.  Sometimes if I leave him up longer because we're going out it's a struggle to get him to nap because he's gotten over tired.  I'm not really sure how to even make the transition to one nap.  Plus giving up another nap so soon means giving up my Y time.

[newkidontheblock]

But I guess my question would be why has this been going on the whole time, not just now but even when he was younger and did still need 2 or more naps.

I'm not sure, hun. Maybe his routine was never quite right?

I could count the number of times on one hand that he has slept through the night without waking up.

I'm a bit confused. You say this but then you also say

He goes down for the night at about 7pm and doesn't really wake up till between 6-7am. 

So is this NW happening between 6 & 7?

I'm not really sure how to even make the transition to one nap.

These links should help you out with that
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)
from 2 to 1 nap - how, when and the bumps

Plus giving up another nap so soon means giving up my Y time.

Since you say he does 45 minute naps anyway, it won't make that much of a difference. It is really up to you. I would choose a good night's sleep over the length of a nap.

[faithrawley]

Sorry for the confusion.  I meant that we put him down at 7pm every night and he usually is wanting to wake up between 6-7am.  When he wakes up in the night usually he doesn't want to be awake but is standing up or has rolled into a position where he's banging his head on the crib, something like that and hasn't learnt to self settle.  Like I said, I'm not sure what to do because I don't want to allow him to cry it out but going in to help 'fix' the reasons he's woken up still means that he's having a disturbed night's sleep and me too.

Maybe his routine has never been right but I think I have tried to establish as good a routine as possible taking note of everything in the baby whisperer but also trying to respond to the individual needs and behaviors that my LO demonstrates. 

[faithrawley]

How much A time and S time should he be getting.  That might help me to know how messed up our day routine is.

[newkidontheblock]

When he wakes up in the night usually he doesn't want to be awake but is standing up or has rolled into a position where he's banging his head on the crib, something like that and hasn't learnt to self settle. 

He is an independent sleeper, right? So he ought to self settle. Could you practice sitting back down with him during the day? And WRT bumping his head, you could maybe get the individual slat crib bumpers, so completely safe & no bumps for baby:) I think that it might take a few days but he will get the hang of it. When he wakes, I assume you lay him back down and leave the room?
Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

Your routine isn't messed up. It just needs a few tweaks:) You can look at this link for the A time
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

How much sleep do you think he needs?

[faithrawley]

He is an independent sleeper, yes.  Has been since 6 weeks.  I have considered getting some crib bumpers but if there's something to distract him from sleeping in or around his bed he'll find it, which is why I have been reluctant to get them. 

We already do the walk in/walk out plan.  Sometimes he goes straight down and other times cries.  As it mentioned in the article we assess how soon to go back in depending on how much he is crying.  Right now he's crying like there's no tomorrow even before we lay him down.  But normally that isn't the way.

I guess when things do get back to normal I need to try the gradual approach of helping him learn how to settle back to sleep in the night.  He does know how to lie back down but I think he's become reliant on me coming in and lying him down.  Do I just start with coming into the room and being there with him till he lies down?

I think he would benefit still from two naps during the day.  He does get cranky and overwhelmed if he's up for 4 hours or more, or he'll seem totally fine and then have a melt down as we're trying to put him down for a nap.  I think he needs 2-3 hours sleep a day and usually gets this broken over two naps.  By 7pm he's definitely ready for bed and usually doesn't sleep past 6.30pm in the morning (with night wakings in there).

[newkidontheblock]

Right now he's crying like there's no tomorrow even before we lay him down.  But normally that isn't the way.

Do you think there is something else going on with him? Teething, developmental milestones etc?

I think he would benefit still from two naps during the day. 

You know him best. And the 2-1 is a long transition. You would still be on 2 naps - but you might have to cap them. So you could do 2 x 1 hour naps, or as I mentioned 1 nap + catnap.

[faithrawley]

Yeah, he's just cut one of his molars and typically when he gets one tooth there are others that closely follow.  So I think that's why he's having more trouble sleeping right now. 

But usually he just wakes up and is reliant on someone coming to lie him back down to go to sleep.  It only takes a couple of minutes but it's still disrupted sleep for us all.  Do you think if I start by just going in and sitting him down that would help?  I just think this is going to take a lot longer than just lying him down knowing he'll go back to sleep.

Ideally I'd like him to take one long nap and one shorter nap each day.  The morning one tends to be shorter.  I try to not let him sleep too late either in the morning or afternoon so that it will then have a negative knock-on effect either to the other nap or to bedtime.

[newkidontheblock]

Sounds like a plan then. Yes, you could just go in, lie him down and leave.

[faithrawley]

Thanks for all your help!