10 month old is a disaster... and I am getting tired. Please help

[Hester]

So would you wake him after 1.5 hours and then move bedtime earlier to avoid OT? Am I assuming correctly that you feel he is UT right now? UT turning into OT?

[katie80]

In the first routine, yes I think it was UT leading to missed naps and then OT. Maybe the last couple days were catch up days, but I would say if he continues to wake at 5:40, it's plain UT now. That's still 10hr overnight and 4hr day sleep, so 14hr total. I don't think you could expect any more.

I would start pushing him to 3/3.5hr A consistently and 2x1.5hr naps. If he's still NW/EWing, then he may need one of the naps cut to an hr.

Maybe (eventually) something like this...
WU 6/6:30am
Nap 1 9:30-11am
Nap 2 2:30-4pm
BT 7/7:30pm

[Sis-Marianne]

Apparently it's a boy thing? With my two older girls I never had to wake them up, it worked the other way even. More sleep = more and better sleeps.
I'll try to let him have longer A time and shorter naps.
So:
A: 7.00-10.30
S: 10.30-12.00
A: 12.00-15.30
S: 15.30-16.30/17.00
A: 16.30/17.00-19.00/19.30
S: 19.00/19.30-7.00 (non stop please )

Sorry if my posts sound (read) somewhat harsh, that is not my intention but just my lack of typing English and Dutch discourtesy

[jessmum46]

Your posts are fine and I agree with everything Katie suggested . I have a boy who loves his naps too, it's horrid to wake him but needs must!

[Sis-Marianne]

Today he woke up at 7.30 (thanks to his sister), went to bed at 10.30 and slept for two hours. This afternoon he did not want to sleep. We tried 4 times.
He went to bed at 6.45pm, woke up screeming, I bf him, put him back in bed. For 5 minutes he was a sleep and now (it's 11.19pm) my husband is sitting downstairs because he is trying to screem out his lungs.... :-/
Will this EVER stop? We are sooooooo tired. Not just only tired but also mentally. Just done. Can. Not. Do. This. Anymore.

Now What?  Just keep on going?
I'm considering CIO. I hate CIO but for now it looks like the only and last option....

[katie80]

Many, many (((hugs))). I totally get it. My third has not been easy either and there have been so many days I want to throw in the towel and say forget it, because we're so tired: physically, mentally, and emotionally. It's tough, so tough.

But, CIO will not solve anything for you, dear. You have a routine issue. He went to bed OT because he didn't get a second nap and that's why he woke screaming a couple times. Take a few deep breaths and let us help you find a routine that works for him (keeping in mind it still might be messy for a week or two). I'm sure you know that we don't promote CIO in any way on this forum. Here is a recent article that may help you stand firm against it (I don't think you really want to do it, I know you're feeling desperate and at the end of your rope... again, I understand... (((hugs)))): https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201407/parents-misled-cry-it-out-sleep-training-reports

So, he woke at 7:30, napped from 10:30-12:30, and then what... what time did you try for the second nap? What happens when you put him down? Do you have any way of settling him? On a day like today, if you try for a nap a couple times and fail, can you take him out in the pram for at least a CN, so that he doesn't go to bed quite so OT?

[Sis-Marianne]

Thanks for the hugs <3
It is really exhausting. I can handle the physical tiredness but the mentally and the emotially tiresness are killing. You're right, I do know that CIO is VERY bad and I really do NOT want to do it. I would'nt even know how. Him screaming for 2 minutes feels like 1 hour... So, never did that. Also don't think it will work except damaging him and of course we don't want that.

Ok, let's fix this!
Second nap, first attempt: 3.45pm. We did as always. Sleepingbag on, soft music and put him in bed. (he sleeps on his belly)
He stands up, fall down, plays, plays al little more, stands up again en starts screaming. Me coming in, placing him back on his belly, he screams more. And more, and more etc etc. Untill he is REALLY mad. So we'll take him out en try again after 10-15 minutes. Than the same story again...

He is not responding to settling. Stroking on his back will only make him more mad. Singing, talking, put hand on back does not work. Only picking him up will calm him down. When we do that and wait for him to calm down (what happens pretty fast) we can't put him back in again. As soon as we moving towards his bed he starts screaming again.

What is CN?

Today he woke up at 7am, slept from 10.30am till 11.45am (picking up sister from school so woke him up) and slept from 1.45pm till 2.45pm.
He was tired so I took him upstars at 6.10pm to BF him to sleep. He wwas asleep at 6.40pm.
Now it's 7.55pm and he is still sleeping.

[Sis-Marianne]

9.04pm, still asleep :O

[Sis-Marianne]

Ugh... woke up at 9.15pm, BF 1 breast, put back in bed, scream, me waiting... scream some more, me waiting some more, scream really loud! Me picking him up again, BF other breast, him sleeping, pull breast out of mouth, walk a second, punt back in bed aaannnddd YES! Sleeps

[kayra]

At least you got a 2nd nap maybe the afternoon nap could be a bit later, when my babies do a nap like that I'd do the 2nd nap closer to 3pm.
All in all it sounds like there's improvement, well done I would try to be aiming for 2.5-2.45 total nap time.
Cn is catnap, so a short nap of about 30minutes.

[Sis-Marianne]

A later nap was not possible, we had to pick up his sister at 5.15pm. Maybe he could go to bed after we're back at home, around 3.30pm.

[Sis-Marianne]

Goodmorning!
A lot of drinking last night (0.00, 02.00, 04.00, 06.30) but he went to sleep after every BF.

[kayra]

Poor you that's a lot of wake ups! I'm guessing he just quickly nursed back to sleep rather than having s proper feed? Does he take a pacifier?

If he woke at 11:45 from a nap I would try a 3:30 nap rather than an earlier one, it just brings you closer to bt so he's not super tired by bedtime.

[Sis-Marianne]

Nope, tried the pacifier, he just bites it and gags.
That would be my idea too (about naps yesterday), the babysitter was here and she is still learning

This morning he would not sleep at all. Screams an screams. Picked up sister en was in bed at 12.30pm. He slept for only an hour but it looks like he needs to poop
I will try again this afternoon, hoping that he is not OT tonight....

[Sis-Marianne]

In bed at 3.30, slept from 3.50-4.30, was in a baaaadd mood and won't sleep now (7.30). OT?