11week old need help with naps - the crying is breaking my heart!

[~Jen~]

We have always struggled with naps and it seems to get worse everyday.  The day is awful right now and our EASY is so far from where it should be. DD2 is touchy/spirited. Super sensitive to OT. She is in a terrible OT loop and I am struggling to fix it. She has always cried before every sleep so we've held and rocked her to calm down but so quickly she just passes out so no IS yet. Our EASY is total mess full of short naps anywhere from 5-35mins. When she busts her nap I try settling her but she usually won't go so I have to put in carrier to extend.

Her nights are decent despite the daytime disaster.  She does have reflux/gut issues and is on a PPI for it but I feel this much more a routine issue /possible prop issue? Yesterday was something like

7:50 Wake
9:15 Sleep
9:40!wake crying
10:30!back asleep carrier
11:30 Wake & Eat
12:45? Attempted sleep but screamed screamed finally fell asleep
1:15 Sleep constantly jolting jolting awake every 5mins
2 fed her and put her down
2:50 wake fussy
Wouldnt settle at all ; DH attempted buggy nap wouldn't settle
5 Eat
5:30 asleep in carrier
6 wake
6:15 bath
6:30 feed
7 :05 holding and rocking while she screamed
7:45 Asleep

3:45am Eat and back asleep

6:50am wake crying
7:30 started holding her
7:40 asleep
8:15 awake
Attempt resettle crying whole time
9:45 asleep in carrier
10:25 still sleeping ...

I want to encourage IS at this age now but she always cries when we start her winddown so I don't feel comfortable and always worried about breaking her trust and letting cry it out. Also could the carrier be causing a prop issue? Just not sure how to change that with DS/DD1 to tend to...

Any advice/ BTDT is so appreciated !!

[jessmum46]

Hugs hugs hugs Jen, I know you are struggling right now

Honestly I think put IS to one side right now.  Put her in the carrier for sleeps - get her some rest as best you can and give yourself a break from the crying.  Sleep training so young is tough, takes time, patience and persistence and the learning curve is slow.  Add to that reflux and honestly, IS and the perfect EASY is not going to happen right now.  I really would ease up on expectations (I know this is very hard though) and embrace the AP.  There is nothing you do now that can't be undone later down the line, often with much quicker results, when you are in a better place yourself and DD is not in pain.

Lots of hugs lovely xx

[~Jen~]

Thank you....
 I will try and embrace it and not worry but I am starting to have trouble to get her to sleep in her Moses basket at all. I can't do the carrier for every nap.... And I don't know how to get her doing more at home.  She won't sleep in the buggy or anywhere else.  I thought if I focus on routine I could at least get one decent nap at home?

[jessmum46]

Not necessarily . If I'm honest A times look fine, I don't think they are the issue.  1h20-30 is right on average at this stage, so you are doing nothing wrong there. Have you tried a swing/bouncy seat/white noise/swaddling etc?  Just to free you up from the carrier for a nap or two?

[~Jen~]

Ok that helps to know I'm not completely off with her routine.  I've been confused trying to read her sleep cues - she sometimes yawns at 20mins A time or before I've even had a chance to feed her!  She ended up taking a 2hr nap in the carrier this morning.  Still seemed very tired afterwards so I followed her cues for the next nap - she yawned at 40mins A so DH tried to put her down and she cried and protested until passing out at 1:15  A time. So I guess we should have followed the clock that time?  We then got a 40mins nap.. the next nap she yawned again at 40mins and I this time when I put her down she was so relaxed - no crying and I was able to put her down in her moses basket and she drifted off to sleep and we got a 45mins nap. 

She is so sensitive to visual stimulation that I can't get her to sleep in swing/bouncy seat.  the carrier seems to work because I cover her up with the hood/cover and it gets really dark while she is against my chest.  I do use white noise especially with DS/DD runnign around and she is swaddled although is starting to REALLY fight it.  But I do think she needs it still. 

[jessmum46]

I think at this age having one eye on the clock is helpful so you don't frustrate you both by trying far too early, but I would still be looking out for cues.  Sorry that as clear as mud

[~Jen~]

The thing that confuses me is that the two are so different. Her yawns come between 30-40mins and she gets kicky which to me is time to wind down but then the avg A time should be about 1:15/20? I guess because she is chronic short napper that her A times need to be adjusted much shorter. Every A time gives me a short nap so struggling to know what is right for her ...

[jessmum46]

I think when it's all over the place you may be best to watch the clock actually.  Pick an average for age say 1h20.  Aim to have her down by 1h10 or say 1h after a short nap.  At least that's a plan even if it doesn't bring perfect sleep with it xxx

[~Jen~]

That sounds like a good plan... I need a plan because right now we are all over the place and I think that is making it harder for her.  Yesterday her A times were so different - one nap was 55mins A but then she did 1:25 A before bed and we had a good night off that.  Asleep easily at 7;10pm waking at 6:50am (2 NFs at 11am and 3:30) but then wakes cranky and fussy. Is she still tired if her naps the day before were all short? She has done 13hr nights but I know those were too good to last 

[jessmum46]

Overtiredness can carry over but some of it may just be personality or discomfort from reflux I guess, that was a really good night

[~Jen~]

Hi! So we've had some success pushing out her A times and she seems to be right around 1:25/1:30 if we rested. We even had a 2hr nap the other day with her settling herself; I couldn't believe it! Then yesterday things started to go funny again and she was harder to settle and short napping again. We were getting mainly 35mins naps. She was waking happy and wouldn't resettle to I thought maybe UT? Then she did a really long A to bed (2hrs). She did EW around 4:30 and was impossible to settle I had to keep feeding her back to sleep until she passed out at 5;45am and woke again at 6:45am - so seems OT has crept in. How can I recover today?

Yesterday
7:00 wake
8:25 -9:25 nap 1 woke her to go Doctor
11:05- 11:35 nap 2
Back asleep in carrier12:35  - 1:05
2:25- 3:00 Nap 3 wouldn't resettle
4: 50 - 5:25 Nap 4 she took forever to settle
7:25 BT asleep (I put her down at 6:50)

1:30 NF; 4:30 Stirring and 5:15NF

6:50 wake
8:10 - 8:45 Nap 1
Hysterical when tried to put her back down to asleep in carrier
9:55 - now

[jessmum46]

Hope the day went ok?  Could well be a growth spurt at that age and I think there's also a wonder week right around then.  Try not to read too much into one day, it's encouraging you had some good naps and she was settling herself

[~Jen~]

I was hoping it would go ok! No such luck.  She ended up getting quite OT with short naps the rest of the day and then refused her CN. She had a 2:30 A before bed and then was up basically every 2hrs the whole night  .
7:05 asleep at BT
10:30 NF
1:30NF
3:30 tried not to feed but was hysterical
5:30 fed for 1-2mins and passed out
6:30 woke for the day

I'm completely shattered. I kept her A times really short so far this morning. She has done 3 catnaps so far and it isn't even 11am. All AP'd she won't settle on own at all now. Feeling like we have back tracked all the progress this week. 

[jessmum46]

It's one step forward and several back, at least that's my experience.  It's normal but doesn't make it any less frustrating.  Lots of (((hugs))) and hope you have a nice day today xxx

[~Jen~]

We had a great night last night so I feel so much better today having had a really good sleep.  Today was another day of really short naps in her cot and then APing the rest to keep OT away.  Can you take a look at our EASY and see what you think?

Wake 6:45
E 7:15
S 8:10 - 8:52 (42mins)
E 9:45
S 10:10-10:35 (25mins)
S in Carrier 11:40-1:05
E 1:10
S 2:30 - 2:55 (25mins)
E 3:45
S 4:15 - 4:35 (20mins)
CN in Ergo 5:20 - 5:45/50 (stirred at 25mins and dozed until 30mins)
BT S 7:15