Author Topic: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT  (Read 2745 times)

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Offline 4babycolt

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1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« on: March 09, 2015, 23:04:36 pm »
I started PD with my 1.5 year DS 1 week ago. At first it wasn't too bad, but after day 4 he started to regress and protest more than before.

History:  My AP was bf to sleep, that is until he stopped going to sleep (naps and BT!) And I bf back to sleep after his .5 hr wake up time during naps  (bc then he would sleep for another hour) and I bf back to sleep during the night. When the bf stopped I would rock him to sleep.... then that stopped working too.
               We use to co-sleep, until starting PD (last week).

Current situation: He is giving clear signs of tiredness after 1.5 - 2 hours after "eating" ( he doesnt eat much for solid foods) &  Activity.
So we do our wind-down routine: change diaper, bf top up, read, lay him in his bed (hes mostly crawling into voluntarily and even laying his head down!) but then the on-saga begins. I am held hostage for 1-1.5 hours of him tossing, turning and fussing, & sometimes crying. He constantly wants to distract himself and prevent himself from sleeping. He will hit his head with his hands, bang his head against the wall, sit up, and stay up, even if he's falling over,reach over the bed and play with the carpet or just crawl out of bed.

SO WHY ISNT HE STILL IN A CRIB?

My perceived problems:
He has NEVER slept through the night. before we started PD i was being woken up ever 45 mins to 1.5 hours, I would bf him back to sleep, only to be woken 45 mins- 1.5 hrs later. (sleep deprivation finally did it for me to NEED CHANGE)
He wakes up crying in the middle of the night and then tries to crawl into bed with me, every time, and every night.
AND THE OH SO FUN ONE, EW!! I have tried
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Offline nevinsmama

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2015, 01:50:24 am »
Hi there. Is it possible that some of this post got cut off? Just want to be sure we are getting the whole story here. Am I reading correctly that he is only awake for about 1.5 to 2 hours? If so, he is probably no where near tired enough for proper sleep. Could you post a typical day to clarify please? Just when he wakes, eats, naps, wakes and eats again and so on. May I ask why he is out of a crib? My DS was in one until he was 4 and DD is still in the crib and she is nearly 3!

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Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2015, 11:19:19 am »
Also her waiting for you to post routine. Bless you Sweetheart, this sounds like a very rough ride.

Waiting to help.

((HUGS))

Vicki.x.



Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2015, 20:08:35 pm »
Sorry! for 2'reasons. I don't know why I said 1'5 year old. DS just turned  my post sent before I was finished and I didn't realize it until now. I'm on my phone trying to explain this while DS is crying. He's super angry and frustrated.

Sigh. Where to begin? !
Today we are on week 2 of PD (when DS gets worked up and screaming I do PU but immediately put him down when he settles).
Issues
#1) I'm still in the bedroom waiting for him to settle and start humming himself sleep. I don't know how to do WI/WO. I stay in the bedroom bc he puts up such a huge fight, fuss, protests? Not sure how to label/describe it.
#2) when do I stop going to him and laying him down when he stands up in the crib?  He understands me when I say "lay down" he use to be very willing to Lay down in the first week, but he is very resistant now. When I go to Lay him down he throws himself back, and if I want holding on to him he'd throw his head into the crib. Every time he is put in his crib he cries. My husband has been patient but after 2 weeks now, the crying is only getting worse.
#3) when he's going down throws his lovey it the crib. I only put it back in twice, after that I put it on the dresser.if I leave it on the floor he tried to reach for it and cries. more What do you recommend regarding this?

Daily routine
Wake at 6:45am.  we need to be waking up at this time to leave for "school" so this is a desirable time.for us to wake.
Eat (mostly me bc he doesn't eat much solids. About 2 small pieces of breakfast Turkey meat, 1-2 blueberries, 1 bite of scrambled egg and a bite of sourdough bread.)
Activity, in the house, independent, sometimes on a stool to watch me do dishes.
Then we play together and after being awake for 1.5-2 hrs he give tbe sign for sleep (he knows some sign language,) rubs his eyes, crawls to the bedroom, if the door is closed he bangs on it. Yesterday my hubby tried to keep him out of the room to keep him awake longer he just started crying and goes back to the door. I take that as a clear sign of him wanting to go to sleep. But, at naps and BT it takes him 40+ minutes to go to sleep.
He will nap for 1.5 hours. He has stopped waking up a 1/2 hr after going down!
But for BT he wakes  up every 1.5hrs. The longest stretch of sleep we've had since he was born was this past Thursday night/ Friday morning. It was 3 hours. To me, that's progress, so that's why I'm trying to stick this out.




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Offline Buttonbobs

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2015, 22:42:50 pm »
Could you post a whole day in EAS format, showing the sleeps and timings of them, it isn't clear from your post whether he is sleeping one nap, first thing in the morning after 2 hours of A, and then no more naps, or if he's napping every two hours in the day. If you can clarify we may be able to offer some help :)
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Offline nevinsmama

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2015, 00:45:56 am »
Dropping off some hugs and seconding Naomi's request for some clarification so we can help you out!

Maryn


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Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2015, 17:54:17 pm »
6:45 wake up change diaper
By 7:15 sit down for breakfast
7:30 he plays independently, I clean
8:45 he's rubbing his eyes, signing sleep, and walks to the bedroom
Begin wind-down routine: change diaper, bf top up, read, put in crib awake with lovey
Sometimes he take 40 minutes to fall asleep, other times it can take an hour, and sometimes not at all. When he sleeps it's for 1.5 hrs.
Wake him up at 11 if he hasn't already done so.
E 11:10 eat snack
Activity play together, go to park or do errands or have a bath ( every other day)
Eat lunch
S.  By 12:45 pm he's rubbing eyes and fussing. Repeat same -down routine as in am. Usually takes 20 minutes to go fall asleep since having the crib up. This nap is the easiest to get him to go down. Only twice has he skipped it
Wakes up 1.5 hrs later
~2:30/3 Eat snack
A independent play and watch me prep and cook dinner.
Eat dinner at 5:00 or 5:30
Begin wind-down routine for BT. Brush teeth, change diaper, bf top up, read book.
Put in crib awake
Usually takes 35-40 minutes.

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Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2015, 21:17:22 pm »
Sorry, the BT routine starts around 5
6:15-6:30.
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Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2015, 22:02:39 pm »
I'm not doing a good job reading my posts before I send them. Sorry for all the hills and confusion. I'm on fumes. DS got sick from hubby, do he has a runny nose, plus hrs teething, 2 coming in on the bottom
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Offline Buttonbobs

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2015, 22:17:36 pm »
Oh hugs honey, you sound very tired. Xxx

I do think that he's just way too under tired for that first nap. The trouble with tired signs or signals at this a em is that they will feel tired, if they've always gone to nap at that time they will want to sleep, but I think it is too early for a full long nap. Then the afternoon is long after a not brilliantly restorative nap at lunchtime.

Have you seen this link?
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

You could try pushing that morning nap later either 15/30 mins and then holding it there for three/four days, and then shifting it later again. If he starts settling more easily and sleeping a nice long 1.5 hours plus at that first nap, you might be able to have he afternoon nap later in he afternoon. This will keep the A time before bed shorter and he may be less overtired by BT and you should get better night sleep.

Alternatively keep the morning nap where it is but cap it shorter. Then he might get a nice longer sleep in he afternoon.

What do you think?
~ Naomi ~




Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2015, 09:50:55 am »
Hello Sweetheart,

Just a quick one to add some ((HUGS) and lots more sympathy, it sounds truly exhausting and you should be proud of your patience, and DH.

I just want to quickly give you the answer to this:

#3) when he's going down throws his lovey it the crib. I only put it back in twice, after that I put it on the dresser.if I leave it on the floor he tried to reach for it and cries. more What do you recommend regarding this?

When doing PU/PD with DS I would keep the blankie for 1 minute after the first throw, then add a minute every time. Eventually he got the message. Worth a try.

x.



Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2015, 15:59:08 pm »
Buttonbobs
Thank you so much for sharing your suggestions.
Yesterday I put DS for his first nap later than usual as suggested and he took 40 minutes to fall asleep, but it wasn't a crying fit. Whew.
if he falls asleep at 10 or 10:30, what time should I be waking him , or does that he sleeps later and it also means the second nap gets pushed back too?
He fell asleep at 10:30 and he woke at 11:45. He was tired again at 2 but I didn't get home until 2:45 and by then he was over tired and hyper so I didn't try putting him down at that time, I ended up bf him to sleep around 4:30 I think? He had a 15/minute cat nap. By 7:20 he was tired again and feel asleep about 8 pm. It only took 1/2 hr and very little crying and assistance needed from me.
Also, should I keep going and laying him down when he stands up? At what points should I, and which points shouldn't I?

For this morning's nap I only did a few times in the first 5 minutes.
He only took 20 minutes to fall asleep for today's first nap; but then moved and hit his head on the crib bars so he woke up for a minute to let out a few winters but was back to sleep in his own! I'm so relieved! Big posts on the back for baby, helped, mommy & daddy!

 Sammysmammy, I tried your suggestion at bed time so I wouldn't have to worry about spending a whole nap time teaching him not to throw his lovey. It took maybe 15 minutes then he left it alone!  How awesome!  The next morning, at first nap, it took 4 throws and he stopped.

Ladies and gentlemen ! We are seeing big progress!
The night wakings are still 4-5 times, misty painfully starting at 3 am, then every hour after that. Each one waking in screaming... Any suggestions for those?

I want to say how appreciative I am for both of your suggestions and hep. I was going to give up yesterday, but thankfully was able to reason out of that. And your suggestions were an inspiration for me to keep trying. Plus, he's teething and sick ATM.
I will be definitely taking to my husband about us donating to this web site, and purchasing the baby whisper book! ( I'm borrowing it from the library! )
 
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Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2015, 16:10:47 pm »
Hi there. Is it possible that some of this post got cut off? Just want to be sure we are getting the whole story here. Am I reading correctly that he is only awake for about 1.5 to 2 hours? If so, he is probably no where near tired enough for proper sleep. Could you post a typical day to clarify please? Just when he wakes, eats, naps, wakes and eats again and so on. May I ask why he is out of a crib? My DS was in one until he was 4 and DD is still in the crib and she is nearly 3!

You were right, he was showing signs of tiredness but wasn't ready. I had doubts at first but your post helped me take a step back and re evaluate.
He was out of the crib bc he kept on hitting his head on the bars and it woke him up everyone. When he started to learn to move (roll &crawl). Plus he wakes up kicking his blanket off him, but shortly later would wake up crying from being cold. So, we co slept and he stayed a comfortable temperature all night. After a while I got tired of not being able to roll in the middle of the nigh, bc he would wake up, so we put our mattress on the floor and put his crib mattress next to me (on the floor as well.)
Well, as he's been getting to the point of challenging and wanting independence, it became a battle of the wills to keep him on his mattress for naps and BT. So, that's when I went to the library and borrowed PU/PD; and now, DS is back in the crib. With less thrashing into crib bars!  I think being in between DH and I he learned to stop moving so much.
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Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2015, 16:43:35 pm »
Hi Honey :)

Sammysmammy, I tried your suggestion at bed time so I wouldn't have to worry about spending a whole nap time teaching him not to throw his lovey. It took maybe 15 minutes then he left it alone!  How awesome!  The next morning, at first nap, it took 4 throws and he stopped.

Well done, that's super, it hasn't failed yet for anyone I've passed this onto lol. You see we can outsmart these tricky LO's ')

Trust me Hun, we have all had those times where we've almost cracked, but it is so worth the effort, you can trust me on that!

The sickness and teething is however bad timing, as usually it's very hard to enforce any sleep training during these times :(. However I do in your case think it worth trying to stick with it because there is every chance it is still the best way to get the most sleep into him, just bear in mind that the results might not show until he is through it, but the good habits can still be enforced in the meantime, but don't be afraid to give him the comfort that he needs, I hope that makes sense

So for his routine, it can be difficult if settling times are long. Usually I would say to pick a wake up time and go with it every day, but as he is under the weather (UTW) this could be tricky. Daytime sleep would usually be capped at 3 hours at this age max. As it's hard to say if your DS is low/average or high sleep needs until a routine is established, it will be trial and error for a while Sweetie. Main thing is to start establishing good habits, keeping up the PD training and him sleeping in his own bed, and the rest will follow. But as a guide, I'd keep pushing the nap by 15 mins if that is what you have started, so a 7.45 WU and shooting for a nap around 10. Who knows what time he will actually fall asleep, and my hunch is he will probably wake himself before you have to cap, but if not I would cap at 2 hours, and PM nap length and time will depend on the wake up (WU) time and length of nap. I'm sorry I know this isn't as clean cut and laid out as we would like it to be :( But you can check back with us regularly, for further advise.

The night wakings are still 4-5 times, misty painfully starting at 3 am, then every hour after that. Each one waking in screaming... Any suggestions for those?

Are you medicating for the teething pain Hun, if not I would. Ibuprofen worked better than paracetomol for teething, and you can try putting a pillow under his mattress at the top end to raise his head a little, as when teething the pressure and pain is greater when lying flat. Like I said give him some comfort if he is in pain but maybe keep him in his bed to do so, and just give him a nice hug, shush him and encourage him to lay back down. Keep the lighting as low as you can if you need to medicate in the night, and keep your words to the minimum, shushing and one key phrase like "Sleepy time Sweetheart" If necessary is best, the same goes for bed time.


For this morning's nap I only did a few times in the first 5 minutes.
He only took 20 minutes to fall asleep for today's first nap; but then moved and hit his head on the crib bars so he woke up for a minute to let out a few winters but was back to sleep in his own! I'm so relieved!

Let this be your inspiration Hun, it's so great :) He will get there and you are doing so well, you both should be proud. Get the wine chilled for the first time he sleeps through the night ;)


I am sure Naomi will have some advise for you too.

Naomi, please feel free to concur or not with all of the above ;)

Lots of ((HUGS)) Hun.
I will be definitely taking to my husband about us donating to this web site, and purchasing the baby whisper book! ( I'm borrowing it from the library! )

The books are a must Honey and thank you, any donations are so gratefully received and essential to keep us running :)

Lots of ((HUGS))

x.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2015, 16:45:40 pm by Sammysmammy »



Offline 4babycolt

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Re: 1.5 year old, struggling w/naps and BT
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2015, 16:46:29 pm »
I spoke too soon!  DS woke from his nap 40 minutes later, crying. He's still laying down but won't stay asleep; he drifted to sleep twice but woke up 2 minutes later.  What gives?

Awe! He hugged his lovey!  How sweet!
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