Totally lost with 1 year old sleep!!! Please help!!

[Laineybobs]

Looking for some more advice ladies. My 1 year old sleep has gone a bit wonky again. I had been given advice before to start capping his naps in order to stop early wake ups which we did and he had been doing 30-40 in morning and then 1hr 10ish in afternoon which was working well and we had extended his sleeps to about half 6 which was brilliant! However that's lasted about a week and then he got sick and it's gone to pot again!!

We are back to wake ups between half 5 and 6 and refusing to go back to sleep but still crying and upset. And then naps seem a bit all over place. I'm still capping his morning one at about 35 mins but this last week I can't get him to do more than 50 mins in afternoon no matter what j do!

I'll post his EAS routines as they were and what they are now below and hope for some advice!!!

Before:
Wake 630
E - BF and then solids
A
S 1020 ish
Y

Wake 1050ish
E snack and lunch
A
S 220/230 for 1hr or so
Y

Wake 330/345 at latest
Bed at 715/730

For the past week or so it's been
Wake 6pm (on a good day!)
A
S 10/1015
Y

Wake 1045
A
S 1430
Y

Wake 1520
A
S 715
Y

I don't really know what to do? I don't think he ks ready for 1 nap yet tho some days he can handle quite long A times especially first thing in morning - sometimes 4.5hrs quite happily, other days not a chance? Any advice would be much much appreciated!!!

[Kellyjs]

Hey sweetie, it does sound like he's heading further down the 2-1 route I'm afraid. That second nap is classic UT.

Have you read this? I found it incredibly helpful. From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

First off I would look at capping that first nap to 20mins and keep the second nap where it is to see of that makes a difference. He may not be ready for one nap all the time as you say, but it might be that he's ready for one nap on some days with a catch up 2 nap day on others. We switched like that for a little while until I felt I could push the A times enough to get to one nap completely with an EBT here and there.

What I found is that if we had a decent ish wu of say 6am or later in the morning, I would try for a one nap day. Any earlier I would do a two, however we did it the other way round as long first nap and short pm nap and when that nap was refused more often than not, we went CT to one nap and just rode out the OT until I got the A times right hth x

[Laineybobs]

Thank you for that.

It was funny because after I wrote it we had such a funny day yesterday! He woke at half 6, so would normally nap about 1030/11ish but he didn't, was wide awake until about 1145 and then had a bit of a meltdown but managed to get him to sleep at midday. He woke after 30 mins but managed to get him back off and he did 2 hour, waking at 2pm. So rest of the day was a bit of a muddle, trying to get food right and keep him happy. I bathed him at 6 and then fed and got him into bed for 650, so he had been up just under 5 hours. However this morning he has woken at 550 and won't go back so what do I do for today?! 2 naps?! Im so confused what to do!!! Thanks!

[Kellyjs]

I'd see how he goes hun, you could apop a very quick 15mins nap around 9.30/10 if you feel he needs it then try for a 12/12.15pm nap again? That's what I did further down the transition, timed a car ride at the right time x

[Laineybobs]

Well he lasted quite happily until 1145, no grumbling and went down like a light! Hoping to get 2 hours of out him, maybe 2.5 or would that be too much?! And when should I aim for bed? 7/715? Should I expect some days of OT to come? X

[Kellyjs]

Amazing! Yay! How did the nap go? Sorry tried to reply earlier then my ipad died 

I'd probably try for a 7pm BT if the nap was good. Just bear in mind the length of the day overall as we woke at 5.50am. Around 11-12mo DD started having 2.5hr naps, think it coincided with the 1yo leap and resulted in more sleep overall for a while. It was bliss as it was summer, ahhh I miss those days 

There may be days of OT but it's a case of playing each day by ear. I remember DD being on one nap for around 3 weeks and thought we'd cracked it, but I had to do the car nap thing that one day as she was unbearable. Also we had OT NW's in the early part of the night for a while. It just took some tweaking to get the nap in the right place for her. It's all about reading the signs x

Eta.. Have you seen this link? It might help if you're going down that route. I found it really helpful. Bear in mind it still might take some tweaking to find where the nap needs to be firstly but tbh it looks like you're not too far off Set naps for toddlers: Why, How and When

[Laineybobs]

Well he woke after an hour - am j right thinking that's OT? I got him back for 10, woke again so took him in car and got another 40 out of him so just under 2 hours in total - don't know if I did right thing?! He was obviously still tired but fed up that he had woken! I'm guessing that 6 hours was too long to be awake so maybe somewhere around 5.5 might suit him better. Should he be awake longer after his nap than he is before?

What do I do time wise? He's been awake since 2 so try for 7?

What length of days should I be aiming for? To try and keep me right?!


Thank you for replying!! Helps a lot!!

[Kellyjs]

I know it's a minefield isn't it? You did absolutely the right thing. It's really hard to know if it's OT, but I would be thinking so considering that's such a big jump for him the last few days.

Yep, maybe try 5.5hrs tomorrow and see how it goes? As I said before it'll take a bit of trial and error to find where the nap needs to be. Some like a longer first A and shorter last A like mine, others the other way round. It's a case of trying to see what fits.

7pm BT sounds good, you can only try and see. Did you take a look at that link I posted? If 7pm is your ideal BT it might be an idea to stick with that and see what happens. As the link says, you can do BT up to 30mims earlier if the nap is short.

Ideally you'd want to try to keep to a 12-hr day early on, but that's not always feasible with such an early wu. And if the nap is good at around 2hrs you can afford to push the bedtime, so let's say 13hrs at an absolute max, but 12.5hrs ideally? Wdyt?

if you went with the set nap idea, we could set nap for 5.5hrs after wu which on average is 6am atm isn't it? So the set nap time of day will be 11.30am for hopefully 2hrs, then BT at 6.30pm for a while until we can push things back? Then if we hold that for a week at least then we can move the day like we do with daylight savings? X

[Laineybobs]

Well we put him down at 710 and he woke this morning at 610 on the nose! It's like his body is set to 11 hours exactly! Is that normal? I don't mind it if I can keep pushing back his bedtime, even to get to a 630am start would be something! And I know the daylight savings in a couple of weeks will change things again - what should I expect then?

Don't know what to do with naps today - was going to try 5.5hrs see if that would stop the wake after an hour but that means putting him down at 1130 until 130? And then bed at 7, so don't know how to start pushing back morning wake?

[Kellyjs]

11hrs is good! DD has always been an 11hr ONS too.

Yep, I'd power on until 11.30 if you can and see how the nap goes. If he wants to sleep a little longer than 2hrs, that's fine.. It'll help push BT later. I'd cap at 2.5hrs max though. Might be worth trying a bit of w2s at around 30mins in? Wdyt?

Initially what I've found with daylight savings. and it'll work well for you this way around, is that they wake at their usual body clock time, which would be say 6.10 for you but it will actually be 7.10, then you can push through to your 5.5hrs so nap at 12.30 new time and BT then is at a reasonable time. Does that make sense? It's the best way around for transitions!! X

[Laineybobs]

We had to go out in car today so he slept 10 mins at about 940 so what should I do nap wise?! X

[Kellyjs]

Probably a bit too late but I'd have done 12 or even 12.30?

[Laineybobs]

Thanks for replying! He went at 1220 and did w2s at 23 mins in which is what I'd normally do so here's hoping!! Just hope a mange to keep him to this routine now! Should I expect him to regress at some point?

[Laineybobs]

Woke after an hour again, still tired and fed up, took me 20 mins to get him back but he's gone. Just can't decide if this is OT? Im presuming it is! Can't figure out what A time is best? any ideas?

[Laineybobs]

He did a further 45 so just under 2 in total across day. Putting him down at 715ish tonight which should be 5 hours since he woke and he's been happy all afternoon! It's so hard to find a balance!

[Kellyjs]

It might be that the A time is close hun, I'd hold the 5.5hrs for a few days and see if he settles into it. It may be that another slight increase will need to be on the cards soon.

How did the night go? X

[Laineybobs]

We had a 1.5hr night waking at 1130 on and off until 1ish. Unsettled and seemed v upset but then slept through until 645? Going to try a 1215 nap for 2 hours again today and see how we go. Was it something I sid wrong yesterday that would have caused the NW?

[Kellyjs]

Might be a little OT or teeth dyt? How his mood this morning? Good idea about the nap x

[Laineybobs]

Had to put him down for nap at 1145 as he conked on me. He slept for hour 20, and then woke and wouldn't go back. Don't know what to for rest of day now? Catnap or early bed? Obviously 5 hours A team is too little. Need to find a balance somewhere! 😢

[Kellyjs]

I'd go for early BT hun, but there's no stopping you trying for a CN? If he doesn't take it then fine, I always thought it helped having some down time anyway. If he does sleep I'd cap at 15mins maybe 20 or else BT might be a bit of a battle x

[Laineybobs]

Well last night was another strange one? He was up til 710 so 6 hours awake and was fine. Went down and slept until 630. Thought I would try 5.5 awake time so put him down at 12 and he woke after 1hr 10, got him back after 15 and he's still asleep now. Just wondering do I hold 5.5 hours for a few days to see if he takes to it or reduce it to 5h 20 maybe? I feel like it's close but I can't figure out what's best?

[Kellyjs]

That night sounds good hun, it's very interesting that he can do 6hrs last thing and be fine. Hmmm, it may be that he'd like a slightly shorter first A then perhaps. I'd still hold that 5.5 hrs for a couple of days and see if we can get him to stabilise a little. It's going well though, well done you! X

[Laineybobs]

Hmmm still can't seem to get it right?!! On Friday he woke at 630, went down at 12, woke after an hour ish, got him back after a while and he slept until 2. Then he was awake until 715. Woke at 610 on Saturday morning, but then due to visitors didn't go down until 1210 yesterday lunchtime, tho about half 11 he was falling asleep standing up, so had been awake 6 hours. Slept for 1.5 straight through. Woke happy and alert. Kept him up until 715, so had been awake 5.5 or so. Then had a wake up after 40, and a wake at 5am, tho put himself back but he woke at 610 again raring to go?!
Any ideas? I feel like I'm ruining it and causing him to be confused but I need to get past these 610 wake ups! Thanks in advance! X

[Laineybobs]

I still can't find a pattern?! Today he went down at 12 for nap after being wide awake so had been up 5hr 50. Woke after 40, went back and woke after 50 so 1hr 30 again?! Then was up until he went down at 720?

Any ideas? I'm totally lost! 😢

[Kellyjs]

It sounds like the A time is so close hun, is he easy to resettle and go back to sleep when he wakes at the 40mims mark? It was good that he slept through at 6hrs A before, it may be that's the right A? Then maybe reducing the last one slightly? Wdyt?

[Laineybobs]

We'll last night wasn't great. Went down at 720 and then woke at 920 crying for about 40 mins on and off. Is that OT? Or UT? Gave him meds and he slept until 530. Woke crying but out himself back to sleep until 6 and then was awake for day. I don't know what A time seems to work for him?! Feel like these 6am wakes put us wrong for day and then week is off! 😩

[Kellyjs]

It's hard to tell sweetie, usually WU's within the first 2hrs are OT but that's not always. And they're usually easy to resettle, not prolonged like that. I'm suspecting teeth as he was better after the meds? Any sign of those 1yo molars? Xx

[Laineybobs]

We hadn't really been able to check for molars as he will just clamp his mouth shut. But I managed to get him to let me have a feel around and low and behold there they are! One broken through on the left at the top and the right at the top just starting to break in. He has been hitting his head a lot in the last few days but I thought maybe ear infection! Anyway at least we know that could be part of the reason?

Sleep wise we still have 610 wake up on the nose regardless of how much sleep he gets. He's doing 1.5 hour naps in the day - most of the time waking and then being resettle and going back. Yesterday tho we went out and he slept for 25 mins at 930. he then went back to sleep at 1220, woke at 1, resettled until 145 so did nearly an hour and a half in that Fternoon period over and above what he had in the morning? So it almost feels like this 1.5 hour nap is just habit? Do you know what I mean? I thought the morning 25 would have taken away from it but it didn't? I don't really want to go back to 2 naps but does he need it??

[Kellyjs]

An odd 2 nap day won't hurt hun, especially if he's getting a little OT because of the EW due to teeth. Great we've found the culprit. I wouldn't go back to two naps all the time now though.  I'm thinking a slight push in the morning A time might be in order to get over the 1.5hrs now. I found this with DD when we were mainly on one nap. It's like she got used to a 1.5hr nap time which we went with for a while, then one day I couldn't put her down until a little later and 2-2.5hr naps happened!! Xx

[Laineybobs]

We are still trying to muddle our way through. His a time last few days was pushed out to about 6 hours and I'm still getting 1.5hr naps to the minute?! Is it habit? It's so strange!

We are also stuck on a 6.10am wake up regardless of when he goes down?  Again habit? For example today he woke at 430am, think he was in pain. So gave him meds and he went back after about 15 mins and slept to 645 - the longest he has done in weeks?! It's like he is set on wake up times for both day and naps? Any suggestions?!!

[Kellyjs]

Have you tried w2s hun? Might be an idea around the 1hr 15mins mark? Xx

[Laineybobs]

We are having multiple NW now - i think it's teeth and fact he now seems to be congested too and can't breathe so is uncomfortable. In terms of sleep, I stretched his A time to 6hr 10 yesterday and he slept for 50, woke for a second and went back for another 30. Then woke but I got him back and I had to wake him at 215 which was just under a 2 hour nap. We then did bed at 720ish so awake say 5 hours. I don't know what the second A time should be after auch a long morning one but a good nap? Should I stick to 13 hour day which would mean a 5 hour a time before bed?

[Kellyjs]

If he's having bad nights I'd try for a 12.5hr day hun. It definitely does sound like teeth. Medicate and you can use something like a vaporub on his chest if he's congested. It helps here. Also elevating one side of the mattress with towel underneath helps too xx

[Laineybobs]

A wee update. We have just really been trying to battle trough this transition. The time change put us to pot tho, he was up 9 hours on sunday night before he finally conked to sleep. Anyway, upside is we are getting a 1hr 40 nap and a 11.5 hour night, so not exactly the 2-3 hour long nap that we thought we would get but still good.

Going to keep persevering with it. My question however is, what does waking up an hour after going to sleep at night usually mean? We have had this the last 2 nights and I don't know why? And I sont want IT to become a habit?!!

His current easy is
Wake up 650
BF
S 1215/1230
Wake up 2pm

Then bath and in bed for 715/730?

This was working perfectly and he still goes down for naps fine! What is this waking after an hour at night about though??! X

[Kellyjs]

Sorry for the late reply hun. For us waking an hour after BT was usually OT. We had it for a while until I figured out what was going on. It might be an idea to push the nap ever so slightly by 15mins to keep the same BT or bring BT earlier by 15mins and see if that helps?

All in all though, 11.5hrs at night and that nap looks like good amount of sleep overall. Well done you ! Xx

Eta we were doing up at 6.30, nap at 12.30 the BT at 7 if that helps at all. My DD always preferred a slightly shorter A to BT x