Undo APOP for 21.5 month old

[Buttonbobs]

You are very welcome honey, I hope it helps, keep me posted

[MarciaMSPT]

Even with only an hour nap, still would not fall asleep today for BT until 8:30

[Buttonbobs]

How did things go yesterday and last night? Any better? What time did you go for the nap?

[MarciaMSPT]

So, nap was not till 2 and I capped it at an hour.  Ibuprofen the night before last.  Slept through the night.

Yesterday, 1 hour nap (car due to errands) and did not fall asleep for BT till 8:30.  Woke 2x in the night.  Usually 2 hours later and then two hours later again...then sleeps till morning. 

Help?! 

[Buttonbobs]

So the night you have ibuprofen he slept right through?

[MarciaMSPT]

He slept through one night with ibuprofen but then woke the next two nights with ibuprofen. 

Yesterday, due to errands, he slept for 40 minutes in the car going and then 1 hr and 15 min coming home.  Wonderful afternoon.  Didn't fall asleep till 8:20 and only woke once -this time 4 hours later instead of 2, and went right back to sleep.  When he woke up, he more or less just puttered around until I decided that his "mamma" was not going to stop...but it was a very calm putter, nothing frantic etc.  Should I let him go for longer before I go in to him?

Seems he was getting very overtired so he may need a couple days of shorter naps and then a longer nap... I've read that some mamma's have that going on.

Any thoughts?

[Buttonbobs]

Yes sometimes they do get OT on the one nap alone and need a two nap day to catch up. It's difficult as this is something we can't really plan for but is more take it as it comes. I found cat naps were a really helpful thing for catch ups when DD was going through this phase.

So when you described going to him as he's puttering, is he crying for you? When LOs reach this age, our presence can sometimes be more stimulating at night, so I tend to only go to Dd of she sounds distressed, rather than just grumbling calling out. I wouldn't feel bad about going to him, as you know we always advocate going in if you're not sure, but if you do think he's ok really, you could try reassuring with your voice first to see if that helps.

[MarciaMSPT]

he's taken one nap for a looooong time.  Yesterday was a short 45 minute nap with two night wakings and very wrestless.  He's not one to just crash when he's super tired.  Sleep begets sleep for him.  I took him in the stroller today to chill him out... he fell asleep at 1:20ish and so when I got home I just put him in his crib.  Letting him sleep till his hearts content for now.  His nose is runny and ? teething again?  Would those molars just make their debut already!?!?! 

I'll give him meds tonight.  My hubby and I were talking about just letting him fuss as he's not distressed, it's just that now instead of crying forever, he calls mama, mama.  He seems quit pleased at his success!  When I pick him up, he wants his blankie, his stuffed tiger and his "cozy" blanket - argh!  And off we go to the lazy boy chair...

If he wakes now, my hubby and I have decided to talk over the speaker thing using voice... we figure a few rough nights with that?  Voice has never worked in the past.  Have I read something about walk in walk out here?  My search feature does not work.  anddddd I'm getting pretty desperate about this.

Thanks again.

[MarciaMSPT]

I hope you can still hang with me.  I'm not wanting to resort to cry it out... I never did and I'm so against it, but I don't know what to do.  After trying shorter naps and longer naps and everything in between, I'm convinced that my little guy has come to have to be in mommy's arms to fall asleep - therefore if he wakes up in the night, well, of course, I'm not there so he cries for me. 

Please help me know what to do... should I post another question in Props instead of here?  thank you thank you thank you.

[Buttonbobs]

Hi honey, I'm sorry I've been crazy at work and so I've not been about so much. Of course I can hang out. Will read your posts now and have a think.

[Buttonbobs]

Ok, so if you think it is a prop issue, then it sounds like maybe there is one. No worries about posting elsewhere as this is he right place for you as he's a toddler

Have you seen the post about sleep training for toddlers? I think gradual withdrawal will work for you. Have a read and then let me know what you think, we can make a plan together!

Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

[MarciaMSPT]

Thank you so much for getting back with me!

WU is at 7.
First nap used to be 1:30 to 2.  Now lucky if it's 1:45 or 2 to 3.
BT used to be 8 - now lucky if he falls asleep by 8:30 or 8:45. 

So, two nights ago, I started by doing the same routine to bed which is family worship, walk with dad outside, sit with mom inside - mom sings songs, quotes Bible verses and talks about our day, bedtime prayers and then quiet until he falls asleep in my arms - then I put him down.    Two days ago I waited till he was drowsy but not asleep and listened to him fuss and call for me for 1.5 hours.  I caved.  It was more than I could handle.  He woke once that night and I held him to sleep.  Last night I caved in at 20 minutes.  (I also started playing soft music the last two nights after leaving the room, but he fussed right through it.)  He woke once last night and I held him to sleep - putting him down about 30 minutes later instead of just plopping in the lazy boy with him and sleeping in it with him - usually 2-3 hours till I wake up and put him back to bed.

Nap yesterday - he fussed for about 5 minutes and that was it.  Slept 1.5 hours.  Nap today was in the car and only 1 hour (?) 

So... I started holding him to sleep back at 18 months with the canines coming in... I thought it would last for a season and then we would be back to my champion sleeper.  He used to put himself to sleep!!!!  Now, he HAS. TO. HAVE. MOMMY!

So, can you help me with a plan?  I'm also worried that I'm forcing x hours of sleep on him when he needs less than that at 22 months.  I feel like I'm just winging it now. 

[Buntybear]

Hi There,

I think gradual withdrawal could help you here. and putting him down drowsy but not asleep is a very good start.

Two days ago I waited till he was drowsy but not asleep and listened to him fuss and call for me for 1.5 hours.  I caved.  It was more than I could handle. 

When you say he fussed for 1.5 hours where you with him? With GW you would need to be right there next to him giving that reassurance that you were there for him. I would put him down and just stay next to his cot. If he cries then you could put a hand on him and soothe him with your voice. Or just use your voice.

Over a matter of days you should be able to back out the door once he has been put down.

How does that sound?

[Buttonbobs]

^^this sounds like a good idea. How are you getting on?

[MarciaMSPT]

Hi there... well, here's what happened.

After that initial 1.5 hours of fussing for me (I was not in the room, had I been it would have been screaming instead of fussing), I knew I had to do something - like stick with something!  No caving etc...but wasn't sure how.

My hubby spent a lot of time connecting with our little guy (he's gone a lot for work) and about 4 days after that initial "try" he put my LO down for bed and I spent the night at a friends down the road.  He fussed for me for just under and hour, fell asleep and slept the night.  The next night my DH put him down again, he said momma twice and that was it till morning.  The next night, nothing till morning.  The 3rd night, DH put him down and I was home... said momma 4-5 times and that was it, slept the whole night.  The fifth night I put him down - he didn't fuss for me, he DEMANDED me - for about 7 minutes and that was that.  Nothing since then... except a couple night waking that resettled without help.

The first night I was away was horrible for me - just plain awful, but I knew I had to do this.  the next day, I put a timer in his room about 15 min before nap time... I read, sang and prayed and put him down.  (I had told him 3x that morning and mid morning the plan).  He went down and said my name about 5 times, then read his book and talked to our KiKi cat who was in the crib with him...  since then I've been doing the same thing.  He's been not falling asleep till 30 minutes later and when I cap the nap at 3, he only gets one hour so I moved our routine back a bit so now he's falling asleep about 1:30-1:45 and sleeping till 3:15ish.  I'm working on letting him wake since he's going down at night so well. 

We are all happy and well rested now! And that is my success story!   thank you for all your help!