Need a routine

[Dakota12]

Hi I hope someone can advise. I followed easy with ds who is now 2 it was fab. I'm struggling with 7 mo dd. It's so hard to manage both kids. I have no routine for dd. She is bf & won't take a bottle. I have no feeding schedule. I have started solids intermittently. She short naps & has 2-3 nw. Her a time is only 2.5 hours max adn I'm struggling to extend it. I don't know how to start but I need routine!!! That I can manage with
My ds too! Please help! Tia x

Btw, I feed to sleep & put baby down asleep too :-/

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there honey, welcome back to BW. I'm glad to hear you found it helpful with your DS, let's see if we can help a little now with your newer DD.

I see that you are not following any specific routine so far, but you do seem to have an idea that she is doing 2.5 hours A time. Would you be able to keep a note for a day or two of her sleep patterns and let us have the detail in an EAS pattern. Then we can have a look and see.

It is much harder with more than one, as you have more juggling to do, I don't yet have two but lots of others here do, and there is a board here you might find helpful:

And then there were two...

((Hugs))

[Buttonbobs]

This might also help:

chronological EASY samples, 7-9 months

[Dakota12]

Thank you Naomi , every day is usually quite different as her naps can be 2-3 of 30 mins or none existent or sometimes a huge 2.5 hour nap!  Plus I just feed randomly throughout the day. We do try to do a consistent bedtime though most days. I am  trying to be more routine conscious from today so will keep note & come back in a few days. Thank you. Adele

I will take a look at the samples too x

[Dakota12]

Hi Naomi. This is what my last few days have looked like.

Sat
E 0630
A 0630
E/S 0930
A 1100
E 1119
E/S 1230
A 1245
E/S 1330
A 1530
BT 1845
Nw 2300, 0200, 0500

Sun (clocks)
A 0815
E 0830
E/S 1015
A 1045
E/S 1330
A 1530
E 1730
BT 1915
Nw 0145

Mon
A 0615
E 0630
E/S 0915
A 1010
E 1100
E/S 1145
A 1230
E/S 1400
A 1550
E 1600
BT 1845
Unsettled til 2000
No nw!!!

Tue
A 0700
E 0710
E/S 0900
A 0930
E 0930
E/S 1200
A 1215
E/S 1330
A 1415
E 1500
S 1630
A 1645
BT 1900
Nw 12, 0100. 0200

Her morning naps are usually short. I feed her to sleep as she gets fed up & tired.  I then put her in her cot. Her pm nap is longer as again I feed to sleep & then she stays in my arms in my bed.... the only way I get a rest as my ds naps too. We have a bt routine. Her nw can't seem to he predicted & sometimes she just lies on my lap awake for ages but cries if I put her down! I'm really considering controlled crying as I need to be able to put her down for her naps & then sort my ds out. It's not fair on either of them how we do things at the moment. I feel I ignore him a lot when I'm trying to settle dd for a nap on my lap & then a lot of the time he disturbs her anyway. Any idea at all where I start to fix this?? Tia.

[Buttonbobs]

Ok, I do think there are quite a few things you could do, but it depends in part on how you'd like to end up after this process. The idea of the BW flexible routine is to follow the same pattern day in day out so each LO knows what to expect, but to add in a bit of flexibility so you are following your own LOs sleepy cues and being aware of their personality too, not just following a "by the clock" schedule.

We also support working towards independent sleep (with the aim being to put LO in bed sleepy but awake and they settle them self to sleep with you out of the room). Is this something you would like to work towards now?

I think that you could achieve some improvement in sleep quality and get some time back to spend with your older child. We wouldn't support the use of controlled crying or cry it out here on this site, as we believe that leaving your child to cry alone can lb real the bond of trust between parent and child. There is a middle way (using PUPD and/or shh pat and other BE methods, together with a more fixed but flexible routine, I think you can get there. Many others on this site have started with slightly older babies and have achieved independent sleep without CC or CIo.

If you'd like to try this then we can work on a plan together. ((Hugs))

[Dakota12]

Thanks.

I just don't know how I could do ssh:pat or pupd. Leave my ds alone downstairs? I know it takes ages to work as I tried with ds1. I don't think I could do it consistently in the day at all.  The last few days she just cries as soon as I put her in cot or even walk out if the room.  I'm just feeling so stuck. I dnt know what I can do. Thanks.

[Buttonbobs]

Honey, it is possible to do this with two LOs but you start with what you feel you can manage. So you try for one nap per day and APPP the other naps, or start at a weekend or in a holiday when you may have more help?

We can hold your hand to make a plan one baby step at a time. What do you think?

I am going to ask some others from the site to come and have a look as I think it will also help to speak to others who have more than one child. ((Hugs)) lovely x

[Shiv52]

I wonder like Naomi says can you start on a weekend when your OH is there to help?  The biggest issue as far as I can see it is the feeding to sleep. I did it with my DD2 too but at some point something needs to give as eventually they are just dependent on it YK?   I started with doing the bedtime feed and then letting DH put her to bed and settle her and also the first nap. I'd pop my 2yo into her high chair with a snack and Cbeebies or peppa on and get the baby down.   Once she got the idea it was easier for other naps and then we worked on the NFs.

I do also think if you got those A times up you would have more success with settling for naps and get longer naps. 2.5 hours is on the low end for 7 months and even another 15 mins would likely make a difference.

Hugs xxx

[Dakota12]

Thank you so much! Yes a plan would be very welcome thank you! Sounds good if I can just focus on one nap per day, that would be a start. I have also managed one or two naps without a feed but if I could even get a more routine feeding schedule it would help. Also any ideas how I can wind her down before nap time whilst still in same room as ds. peppa pig is a godsend but his timing for waning to kiss baby or shout to see if she's asleep or want to go on the potty etc etc is not great ha. OH has some time off next week too so it could work. If I can get her down for decent naps in her cot I will be happy.  That's what I would like to aim for as I feel nw have already slightly improved the last few days.  Feeling positive now :-). Where to start? Thanks again!!! X