18mo regression while traveling

[ezsmom]

I need some advice on helping our little guy through the 18 month sleep regression.  (Or maybe just advice on getting mom and dad through it?)

We've been traveling in the developing world for about a month.  DS came through jet-lag with no problems and went back to his normal sleep schedule (more or less).  He's been doing fine for the last three weeks until the last few nights.  He's having a hard time going to sleep, a hard time staying asleep, and is waking up early.

If we were home, I would do the PU/PD method again, as that has served us well in the past, but I'm not sure how to do it here.  For the duration of our trip (and for a few days before the trip), he's been sleeping in a Peapod, which is basically a zip-up tent/bed combination.  I'm not sure how to get him easily in and out of it to do PU/PD successfully.

My husband wants to let him CIO, but I don't think that is our best option.  Any advice is appreciated as we are exhausted and trying to get work stuff done during the days.  (We're traveling for work with an NGO.)

TIA.

[Truly Blessed]

Hello Hun,

Welcome to BW and thank you for posting.

Oh bless you, that is a tricky situation. When you are away from home things are always more tricky. Can I ask if you are able to stick to his usual routine at all, and if so could you please post it 

You are so right not to want to use CIO. Tracy Hogg didn't believe in it, and all of us here at BW follow her thoughts. People tend to resort to it through desperation when they are exhausted and out of ideas  which is understandable and probably where your DH is right now. But there are other more gentle and successful ways even for yourself in the current situation, and you obviously are already a successful BW Mammy, having used PU/PD already  .

If it were me, I would currently be using Gradual Withdrawal. So just staying with him with re-assurance of your presence. Sitting by the travel crib next to him, using a sleepy phrase ie: "Sleepy time Darling" and use it sparingly. Try not to look at him or enter into any other talking. Wait a few minutes until he is in a deep enough sleep to leave. If he wakes in the night repeat the process, and the same for naps. When you are home again you can either continue or go back to PU/PD.  I'm guessing that he has slept in many different rooms lately  so it is likely a lot for a LO to adapt to. Yes, he may still cry, but a LO crying when you are there is a different thing to CIO, as long as he knows you are present he will be fine.

Here's a couple of links for you to read Sweetie.

I'll wait for your reply and his routine (if there is one currently) and I am sure we can help you through this.

Many ((HUGS))

Vicki.x.

Going on holiday, what about routine? TIPS FOR THE TRAVELING MOMMIES

Cry it out (CIO): 10 reasons why it is not for us

[*Ali*]

Hello and welcome. What an exciting adventure it sounds like you guys are having 

I looked up the pea pod and it looks like a great product but I noticed in the reviews that many people had trouble with their babies not wanting to go to sleep in it. Do you think he doesn't like his new bed now the novelty has worn off?

What is he doing instead of going to sleep? Is he happy and mucking around playing, crying, trying to get out, wanting you to stay with him?

At this age with PuPd you don't really pick up, you just put them back down but I suspect you would be better off just doing walk in walk out or just sitting by the bed until he falls asleep. Have you read the BW book(s)?

I also wonder about his routine and whether the nap needs capping or BT needs moving.

As pp says Tracy always said there is always a gentler way, we just have to find it.

[ezsmom]

To answer some questions.

Routine: We have tried to keep the routine as close to what we do at home as possible.  Our routine has been: bath (every other night), pjs, play with some blocks, cuddle and drink water, into bed.  At home, he usually goes down between 6:30 and 7pm.  Here, it's been closer to 7pm.

Naps: When we left, he was in the midst of dropping from 2 naps to 1 nap a day, and I think we're still in that process.  Some days, he takes a morning and an afternoon nap, but it's mostly just an afternoon nap.  We're trying to make sure that he us up from his afternoon nap by 4pm, but some days, the babysitter forgets to wake him.

What is he doing?  He's sitting in the peapod screaming bloody murder.  Eeek.

Gradual Withdrawal: This is what we have been trying.  Unfortunately, the apartment we are in this week (until Saturday) has a wicked squeaky door.  He'll be sound asleep or mostly asleep, but then we open the door to leave and he sits bolt upright.

WI/WO: I think that we may try this.  Is it best to walk in and say the same phrase each time? 

Books: I've read the first BW book, and I just downloaded the toddler book on my Kindle, yesterday.  Hopefully we'll have time to look at it today.

Other: Should we look at moving the BT back further?  For the last three nights, we put him down at 7pm, and he was asleep by 7:15 or 7:30, so I feel like that's the right time.  It's the night wakings and early waking that are troublesome.  Last night, I tried dressing him in lighter clothes (shorts instead of pants) and he slept through to 5am.  I think he would have gone back to sleep but there was a security light outside shining in his window a bit.

Any other information I can give?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

When we left, he was in the midst of dropping from 2 naps to 1 nap a day, and I think we're still in that process.  Some days, he takes a morning and an afternoon nap, but it's mostly just an afternoon nap.

What time is his nap    I wonder if it may be a little late. Often you may need to push the nap out slowly, then once LO has made the transition fully you can push it out later. If he will take the nap earlier then it could mean for an easier time at BT, as it sounds like OT rather than UT to me, as usually the UT BT's are less upset. Of course with 1 and 2 nap days it could be both.

Some days, he takes a morning and an afternoon nap, but it's mostly just an afternoon nap.  We're trying to make sure that he us up from his afternoon nap by 4pm, but some days, the babysitter forgets to wake him.

It's really difficult when there is no consistency isn't it . If you can push him through to the same earlier nap time every day for now, then it will likely right itself quicker. What time is his WU in the morning 

Maybe the baby sitter can set herself an alarm 

WI/WO: I think that we may try this.  Is it best to walk in and say the same phrase each time? 

I will leave this to one of the other ladies to answer as DS wouldn't tolerate WI/WO at this age. My only concern is that it doesn't sounds as though he is any kind of state to leave initially to start doing WI/WO you know 

Gradual Withdrawal: This is what we have been trying.  Unfortunately, the apartment we are in this week (until Saturday) has a wicked squeaky door.  He'll be sound asleep or mostly asleep, but then we open the door to leave and he sits bolt upright.

Can you get your hands on a white noise CD or similar to help with this 

What is he doing?  He's sitting in the peapod screaming bloody murder.  Eeek.

Is there any chance that the peapod is adding to the trouble, as in maybe he doesn't like it, isn't comfortable in it, or doesn't like being enclosed 

Other: Should we look at moving the BT back further?  For the last three nights, we put him down at 7pm, and he was asleep by 7:15 or 7:30, so I feel like that's the right time.  It's the night wakings and early waking that are troublesome. 

My gut is that BT isn't the problem, it's the nap time, so if you can work on that consistency first then hopefully the rest will follow.

x.

[ezsmom]

Some more information.

BT is fine now, or at least the last two nights. We do our normal routine, we last him down, and he puts himself to sleep after we leave the room.

He's still waking between 5 and 6. Nap times are all over the place. What time should he be napping and for how long?

How to deal with night waking is still a challenge. Right now, our plan is to trade off nights, go in to calm him verbally as needed until he falls back to sleep.

I think he doesn't love being enclosed in the peapod, but it's our only option until Saturday. Our next location has a crib we can use. It's unfamiliar to him, but it's not zipped up. I have all of his regular bed things (blanket, pillow, etc) so that should help.

I think you're right. The naps are the problem. What time should they be? What's are some good pre nap activities fir winding down? We'll do our best to implement some structure there. (It will be hard, though, as we are having communication issues with the current sitter. I don't think she really understands French like I thought she did and I definitely don't speak one of the local languages! Hopefully this will be better in our next location.)

Thanks again for working through this with me. It removes a lot of my stress which I know is also helping him and my husband!

[Truly Blessed]

I think he doesn't love being enclosed in the peapod, but it's our only option until Saturday. Our next location has a crib we can use. It's unfamiliar to him, but it's not zipped up. I have all of his regular bed things (blanket, pillow, etc) so that should help.

Oh, that's good news Hun, I think maybe it will.

He's still waking between 5 and 6. Nap times are all over the place. What time should he be napping and for how long?

Could you possibly push him through to a set 11 am nap no matter what If he would sleep a couple of hours then you could go for the 6.30 BT and hope for the best. If it resulted in a short nap, then you could try the 20 min cat nap option around 3  Days are so hard to sort out when EW are at play, because pushing through to decent nap, and keeping the day short enough to counteract BT OT is a pain  .

Good Luck.x.