Author Topic: 6 month old frequent night wakings  (Read 1516 times)

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Offline bfl

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6 month old frequent night wakings
« on: April 07, 2015, 10:16:04 am »
Hi. I've got some advice before from the nap forum, now DS is a better napper but his night sleep has got worse!

From about six weeks he was a really good sleeper - he used to only wake once or twice a night for a quick BF then back to sleep, but has gradually gotten worse. Since four months sleep regression he's never been quite the same, but he was usually still sleeping reasonably well at least every other night - by reasonably well I mean waking once per night! Over the past 2-3 weeks it's become much worse as he has been has been waking up quite often at night. He might wake up any number of times between 1 and 5, with 3-4 being most common. If it weren't for the occasional night where he only wakes once I think we'd be going insane.

There doesn't seem to be any particular pattern, although it's most likely to be in the early part of the night (between 9 and 12) it can be any time. Sometimes he goes back to sleep quite easily with a little comforting, sometimes he screams for up to an hour and is completely inconsolable, sometimes a BF is the only thing that works (which is fine if he's hungry, but he'll often be inconsolable without a feed even if it's only been a short time since his last feed. We know he can go 6-7 hours overnight without one, but he usually wants one if he wakes up 2 or more hours since a feed). The only thing you can say with any certainty is whatever he did last night, he won't do tonight.

We know he is capable of self-settling. When we put him down at bedtime, nine times out of ten he goes to sleep entirely on his own without a murmur. His self-settling technique is generally to suck on his fingers - he doesn't have a dummy. He self-settles for naps too (probably seven times out of ten). But when he wakes up at night, he rarely seems to settle himself back down without parental intervention.

When he does wake up, we give it a few minutes to see if he'll calm down on his own (rarely he does). If it's been more than three hours since the last feed Mrs BFL will give him a BF. If it's been less, we try to settle him without a feed in his cot by patting, shushing or giving him something to suck on. Usually picking him up makes him more upset rather than comforting, so we only do it as a last resort if he's getting really agitated. Sometimes it works, more often than not it makes things worse.

We don't think it's teething, as his gums aren't sore, he's very happy during the day, and there's no sign of teeth coming through after 2-3 weeks of this.

His bedtime routine is baby massage, warm bath, feed, bedtime story and lullaby, then put down still awake, and as I said he usually goes to sleep on his own. Bedtime is usually around 6.30-7pm depending on when he woke from his last nap.

Daytime schedule is also changable, as although he's a better napper now his naps vary greatly in length and are quite unpredictable. He usually wakes between 6.30-7am and has a BF, then play. Awake time is usually 2.30-2.45, but he goes down for a nap when he looks tired. Sometimes it's up to 3 hours. Nap might be anything from 30 to 90 minutes, then another BF, and another 2.30-3 hour awake time and play. During this time he'll have a solid feed as well. Second nap might also be anything from 30 to 90 minutes. Then another BF, then play. He usually has a third catnap of 20-30 minutes somewhere around 4-4.30pm, but if his earlier two naps have been longer we might not get that in. Then another BF at around 5pm, play with me when I get home from work ( :) ), then bedtime routine starts around 5.45-6.

It's frustrating given that most of the advice out there says that if a baby can self settle they should sleep well. We can't think of any sleep associations he might still have other than feeding, and as I said, he doesn't need a feed to go to sleep at naptime or bedtime, or even every time he wakes up at night. We're reluctant to drop night feeds as he's small for his age and still seems to need at least one a night, and how do you teach a six month old that he can only have one feed a night? He can't count or tell the time. But we can't work out what could be causing him to wake up so much.

Advice would be very welcome. Thanks in advance!

Offline bfl

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2015, 04:18:19 am »
I thought of a few more things that might be relevant.

When he wakes up in the morning, even though he's presumably hungry, he doesn't cry or get upset, but just lies there quietly until we go in. He only gets upset when he wants a feed at night.

When he does wake up at night, he doesn't usually cry loudly, but he does whimper and fuss, and doesn't settle back down. However normally when one of us goes in to him it actually makes him more agitated and he'll go to actual screaming for a bit. That's partly why we haven't tried controlled crying or PU/PD - those seem to be predicated on baby calming down in the presence of a parent and getting upset when they go.

Mrs BFL doesn't usually feed him to sleep at night - sometimes it's unavoidable, but usually he's still awake when finished and goes back down into the cot still awake but drowsy, and usually goes to sleep fairly easily afterwards.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2015, 08:44:28 am by bfl »

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2015, 10:13:11 am »
Hi there, sorry to hear you are struggling.

Some things that might help us to help you - can you possibly record a few days for us and post them here?  I suspect some of the issues may lie in the routine, as wakings in the first 3h after bedtime are usually down to overtiredness (could be the case if you've skipped the CN and not moved bt earlier, or if naps didn't go so well) but other wakings could be due to undertiredness as it is around this age the 3-2 nap transition tends to occur and the CN or too-short A times can start causing problems. 

I know you say LO goes down for a nap when he is tired, but the issue with that as LOs get older is that tired signs can become less reliable - so they can be habit, boredom, or being tired but not tired enough for a decent nap.  Clock-watching has to come into the equation a little more, and when dealing with multiple NWs then consistency in the day can help to clarify where the issues lie.  It may be worth trying to stick to one A time, at least first thing for a few days and see if you can spot any patterns in his nap length.

It's great he can self-settle at bedtime, that's a big head start.  I had similar with my DS, independent sleeper at nap and bedtime but definitely picked up some habit night feeds.  I wouldn't advise stopping all feeds at this age but wouldn't feed more than twice.  Perhaps you could try resettling the first waking, then feeding at the next, and then subsequent nights not feed any earlier than you did the night before?  I did this with DS when I suspected the feeds had become habit rather than need.  Night one I fed at 23.15.  Night two he woke every 15 mins from 22.00 and I resettled each time.  Finally he woke again at 23.15 and I tried one more resettle, thinking I would have pushed the feed along 15 mins at least.  He next woke at 3.30am ;D

Just a quick note - we don't support controlled crying or CIO methods here so wouldn't advise that in any case.  It may be that he is a LO who does better with minimal intervention but we would always say go to him if he really needs you.  It can be helpful to hang back a little though if he is just whimpering and fussing - my DS is LOUD if he wakes at night but doesn't necessarily need me, in fact going in can seriously prolong the waking unless he is really crying for me. 

Hope that is some help to start with, will look forward to seeing a few days of your routine :)

Offline bfl

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2015, 22:30:37 pm »
Thanks for the reply. I will keep a log. He is going through the 3-2 nap transition, I think, but the problems have preceded it. His final awake time of the day may often be too short - it's often only 2 hours, but the alternative is a 5 hour awake time. Neither is ideal.

We have tried implementing a 'no feed before 11' rule - I resettle him if he wakes before that. Sometimes it works and he goes back to sleep for a few hours. Other times he wakes every 30 minutes from when he first wakes to the feed time.

Offline bfl

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2015, 09:19:42 am »
So of course I make the post and he suddenly gets a lot better  ;D Not that I'm complaining, mind, but it's difficult to work out why, or if there's any pattern.

FWIW, here's his last five days:

Weds:

Wake: 7.30
Nap 9.30-11
Nap 2-2.45
Bedtime 6.15
NW 9.15 - no feed, 30 mins resettling
NW 2.40, BF, 30 mins

Thurs
Wake 6.40
Nap 9.10-9.55
Nap 1.10-1.55
Nap 4.30-5.00
Bedtime 7.05
NW 12.00 BF, 30 mins
NW 3.50, BF, 40 mins

Fri
Wake 6.45
Nap 9.20-9.45 (tried to resettle, failed)
Nap 11.50-12 (fell asleep in the car on the way to an appointment but woke up when it stopped)
Nap 1.20-2.30
Bedtime 6.30
NW 12.30, BF, 30 mins

Sat
Wake 6.40
Nap 8.45-9.45
Nap 12.45-1.35
Nap 4.10-4.40
Bedtime 7.05
NW 9.45, no feed, 10 mins to resettle
NW 12, BF, 30 mins
NW 3.50, BF, 40 mins

Sun
Wake 7.00
Nap 9.50-10.25
Nap 1.20-1.55
Nap 4.30-5
Bedtime 7.05
NW 2.40, BF, 30 mins.

Mon
Wake 6.00
Nap 8.45-9.15
Nap 11.05-11.35 (I know this was a short awake period, but he was tired after an early wake up and short first nap)
Nap 2.15-3.10
Bedtime 6.35
NW - will tell you tomorrow!

Make of that what you will. Feedback appreciated :)

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2015, 15:12:59 pm »
I think probably all I can say from what you've posted is that yes, you are in the 3-2 but it's hard to interpret beyond that as A times vary so much, plus you had those sneaky car naps (I know they can't be helped sometimes though....).  I do think you are getting OT NWs, you are doing the right thing trying for 3 naps when the first 2 haven't gone well but I notice sometimes after a short nap you are doing a long A time of 3h, sometimes more.  Usually we shorten A times after a short nap to prevent too much OT building, so that may help :)

I do think to make it easier to spot patterns it would help for you to at least make the first A time the same for a few days in a row.  Perhaps you could start with 2h15 or so?  This is very short for his age but I notice at the moment much longer is giving you short naps.  You may have to stretch this out slowly just 5-10 mins every few days to get him to a more age-appropriate first A, something in the region of 3h.  If you can stick to one time for a good 3-4 days it makes it a lot clearer to see what needs to be tweaked in his routine.  What do you think?

Glad in general your nights have been better :)

Offline bfl

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2015, 23:24:13 pm »
Thanks.

Part of the problem with the first A period is that we're not always sure what time he actually woke up. As I said, when he wakes in the morning he just lies there quietly and sometimes doesn't disturb us. Some days we think he's been awake for a while when we go in, but he hasn't woken us up. So we put him to bed when he acts tired, as we assume that he might well have been awake for longer than the 'A' time suggests.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 6 month old frequent night wakings
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2015, 09:47:28 am »
I used to count from when I first heard DD, I assumed if she was awake but quiet before that it didn't really count.  Lots of parents have success counting from the time they get LO up provided LO is quiet in bed before that :)