Author Topic: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?  (Read 6963 times)

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Offline Domestic Engineer

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Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« on: April 24, 2015, 20:25:36 pm »
We're going to transition Henry (17 months) from his crib to a twin-size bed this weekend. The bed is the bottom part of a bunk bed, without the top part set up. We're able to use the mattress without a box spring, so he can climb in and out of the bed by himself. We set up the bed two weeks ago and have been moving his toys and things into the new room and letting him play in the room and bed. I put up a bunch of animal decals on the wall and he loves them, so it's his new favorite room. He's always wanting me to go in there and look at his monkey on the wall. :)

I thought about doing something with his crib in his new room or his new bed in his old room at first to make the transition easier in two steps, but we decided to just do it in one step because assembling the furniture multiple times would be a big pain, and we don't want it to take too long as my baby is due in 6 weeks and my mom will be arriving in 3 weeks, and because he's adaptable and a good sleeper and we hope it will go pretty smoothly.

I've tried to get him to nap in the new bed a couple of times without success. Yesterday I put him on his bed with some books when he was good and sleepy and left him. He was quiet for 15 minutes and I thought he was going to sleep, but he got out of bed and came looking for me, so I put him in his crib. Today I moved his blanket, pillow, stuffed animal and white noise from his crib to his new bed and had him lie down on it, then I left and closed the door. (He sleeps with his door closed and can't open doors yet.) He cried for a couple of minutes when I left, I went in once to reassure him for a  couple minutes, then he settled down to his falling-asleep moan and I thought that he was going to sleep. But then I heard him get out of bed and start playing with his toys.  :-[ So I put him in his  crib again.

Now between the two beds he's been down for an hour and a half and is still not asleep. He's gently whining in his crib right now. I still think he'll fall asleep eventually, because he always does, but I'm afraid that with his nap so late it's going to make bed time in his new bed even harder! I usually don't cap naps and he sleeps 2-3 hours, but today I might wake him up at 4 or 4:30 for 9:00 bed time. (It's usually 8, but he's shifted onto a late schedule since we were sick and I'm just letting the bed time alone until we've got the new room settled.)

I need some kind of game plan for the switch.
-If he starts crying when we leave him there tonight, obviously we comfort him, but how much? For how long? How long do we wait?
-What do we do when we hear him get out of bed? He can't get out of his room. I don't want him to end up sleeping on the floor, which is what happened with his "Montessori floor bed" when he was 9 months.
-What if he just won't go to sleep? Do we give up and put him in his crib in his old room at some point, or keep going for as long as it takes?
-What happens if he wakes up and cries or gets out of bed during the night? He never has NW anymore, so we don't have a usual response. I don't want to make any bad habits of him getting attention in the middle of the night, but I also know I can't just neglect him if he's scared in his new bed and room.

Sorry, I know this is a long post. I did read some of the transition success stories and found them helpful, though most of them are with children older than Henry. He's a Spirited toddler, if that helps, but a great independent sleeper from 5 months on and very adaptable. Changing his bed and nap times by 30-60 minutes never bothers him much. His sleep needs are high end of normal.

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2015, 20:46:08 pm »
We had a really smooth transition from cot to BBB because DS's cot turned into a toddler bed, so he was in the same room and basically in the same bed but without the bars.  He did at some point tell me he wanted the bars back and wanted his cot back but I worked out he was cold (wanted the comfort of the bars which perhaps had made him feel more snug or he'd been in there with more covers or during warmer weather or something) so added another blanket which solved that.
So, my advice really comes from when he was 9 months and I moved him from his hammock by my bed into his cot in his own room. Honestly it was hell for 3 days. I had no option to use the hammock as he had rolled in it which is a safety hazard so with no other option I had to stick it out, which really I think was the best thing all round anyway. It got the move done and dusted in 3 days.

Yes there was much crying and I was shattered from being up half the night but it was not for ever.

-If he starts crying when we leave him there tonight, obviously we comfort him, but how much? For how long? How long do we wait?
I would not wait at all. if he calls for you by name or cry you go immediately. Stay as long as it takes, until he is asleep if necessary.  Return again if he wakes and calls for you by name or cry.

My suggestions for your questions:
What do we do when we hear him get out of bed? He can't get out of his room. I don't want him to end up sleeping on the floor,
If he gets out of bed and calls go to him as before. If he doesn't then I'd say two or three options:
- let him sleep on the floor. There are millions of people who do and although I wouldn't want mine on the floor either it really isn't going to harm him. Pop a blanket on him or lift him to bed once asleep
- return him to bed and stay until he sleeps
- WI return him to bed WO. The first time you say something like "back into bed, it's sleepy time" the second time just "it's sleepy time", after that just keep doing silent return. I would not do WO if he was upset though. I would stay the course.

What if he just won't go to sleep? Do we give up and put him in his crib in his old room at some point, or keep going for as long as it takes?
He will sleep eventually. It may be very late and he may wake many times the first night or three but he will sleep. You have your time plan of when this needs to be done by so IMO I would just do it. It will be tiring and upsetting for no reason if you let him get really OT and upset and then put him in his crib anyway, he'll get confused.  Set your mind, grit your teeth, respond to all cries. Stay all night if necessary (mattress on the floor for you) but get him to sleep in there full stop.  When it seems impossible remind yourself it will take roughly 3 days for the worst to pass.

What happens if he wakes up and cries or gets out of bed during the night?
As above. Always respond, always comfort, stay all night if necessary and remind yourself it's not for ever. Staying with him will help him to feel confident, it's the confidence you need to get him sleeping and the routine back on track again.

Good luck :)
BTW it's great you've been spending lots of day time A time in there, this will really help :)


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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2015, 21:06:27 pm »
Thank you so much for the advice! I feel much better now that I have an actual plan. I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes. :)

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2015, 09:42:33 am »
Good luck :)
I know you must be feeling tired with only 6 wks to go before baby arrives, obviously rest whenever you can so that you have the strength to get through the difficult first few days. I suggest leaving all housework but the absolute basics/necessary so that you do not exhaust yourself. Everything else can be caught up with next week after things settle down - or when your mum is there to help out :)

You can do this :)


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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2015, 19:22:47 pm »
Sorry it took me a couple of days to update! It actually went amazingly well. I was in shock. On Friday night, we just did a nice long wind down, then when he was really relaxed and sleepy, got him ready for bed as usual, took him into his new room, let him turn off his light and close his door (those are his sleep cues), put him down on his big bed, covered him up, and he snuggled in and went to sleep. We didn't hear a peep from him until morning. He has done this for three nights now. Unbelievable.

He has not been willing to nap in his new bed yet. On Saturday we had a busy day and he was overtired by the time we got home for his nap, so we briefly tried putting him in his bed, then moved him to his crib when he didn't like it. Yesterday we tried putting him in the big bed for his nap, and he went to sleep for about 10 minutes, but then he got up and knocked on the door to come out. We put him in his crib for the nap. Today I wasn't feeling good and put him directly in his crib because I didn't want to deal with the up-and-down thing. Maybe once he's slept in the new bed at night for a few more days, he will like napping in his bed?

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2015, 19:45:47 pm »
Fantastic update :)
Really pleased for you that BT has gone so well.

Will you need the crib for your new baby in the next month or two?
I'm just wondering how quickly you need to transition the nap to the BBB?


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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2015, 19:50:17 pm »
Baby is due in 6 weeks, so we have some time. I'm really not sure where the baby will nap yet - I would like him to nap in his crib, but I'm sure he would be just as happy in the Pack n Play at first. The only issue will be if we end up putting the crib into our bedroom for him to sleep in at night, because then Henry won't be able to nap in the crib in the nursery. So basically, I would really like to get the nap transition completed in the next 3-4 weeks.

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2015, 20:03:22 pm »
I would do it sooner rather than later. There's a chance he is going to feel evicted from his crib for the new baby.

Hopefully you will feel well enough in a few days to tackle it.  How about putting him down a little late so he is really tired and then staying in the room with him to sooth him through any wake ups?  It would really help to establish a habit of napping in there, and you can do wi/wo or gradual withdrawal if needed (which it sounds like it won't be, he just needs those first few days of help and consistency I think)

Another thing which could really help would be to get him to help you take the crib down and put it away into storage. Talk to him about  him not needing it any more as he is going to nap in his big bed, mention to him what a lovely sleep he gets in his big bed. Let him accidentally overhear you tell someone else (on the phone for example) what a great sleep he is having in his big bed, that he is so well rested and full of energy to play well etc.
My DS was super excited to help take his cot-bed apart and back together as a toddler bed. We got his toy tool set out for him to help but he also did some real helping too.


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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2015, 19:52:12 pm »
Well, we're trying at the moment. I put him down in his bed and left to go to the bathroom. He did a brief angry cry when I left him there, but he got quiet right away. And got out of bed. And is now playing with toys.

I don't know how to get him to nap with me in the room. He never falls asleep with either of us in the room - if I sit in the bed with him, he'll just climb all over me and want to play, and if I get out of his bed, he will get out of his bed, too. I could try going into his room and putting him in bed, then coming back every time he gets out of bed, but I feel like that could go on forever and he still wouldn't nap. I wish there were some way that I could physically prevent him from getting out of the bed, just for the first 2-3 naps, but I'm not sure what that would be.

I'm not really planning to take the crib apart, since I'm basically leaving the nursery the way that it is for the new baby.

Now he's quiet again... I really need to set up the video baby monitor in there for a few days so that I can see what he's up to! Is he reading a book? Back in bed? Sleeping on the floor?
« Last Edit: April 29, 2015, 09:15:31 am by Sammysmammy »

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2015, 09:14:46 am »
Hello Honey,

You are doing so well, and as always Creations advise is super :) So mainly just popping on with some extra encouragement. DS moved to a BBB at the same age due to to be so tall and climbing out, so we had no choice. I had his bed set up in the same room as the cot and we did back and forth for a while, but he only truly got the message once he knew there was no choice any more. He also got up and down and came to the door (we had a baby gate on it) and I did GW. So I wouldn't necessarily get into bed with him, but for naps and BT maybe sit by the bed and be constantly present until he gets the idea, what do you think  ??? With DS, he got up and wandered round, got some toys, and after 1 day of doing 'Rapid return' I thought "I can't do this, it's too stressful!" and it is exhausting, so I gritted my teeth and just waited until he came back himself and got back in. It took a few days, but he did it. I only used a sleepy phrase and nothing else, which is not easy when a LO is chucking out all of his best tricks to get you to talk and make you laugh, but as with any transition/ST it is necessary. I avoided eye contact (not easy when a LO has his face in your hands ;)) and after saying "Sleepy time Sweetheart" a couple of times, said nothing. For me, this method was a lot less tiring and stressful than going back and forth and listening to him cry/wondering what he was up to "Is he sleeping, is he playing!?" and when things improved I sat outside the door, with limited vocal re-assurance. Sleep went 'To hell in a handcart!' as they say lol, but then him being so tired actually helped the transition because he started to lay down faster, so finger's crossed that will help your DS too.

The fact is this has to happen and happen soon, so hang in there Hun  :-*. I would also try talking to him a lot about what a clever big boy he is now, and how he is going to be the 'Big Brother' and how important that job is, but that will always be Mammy's special big boy etc.

I am also a fan of supporting these things with literature, so here's a link for you  :)

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/310899481644?limghlpsr=true&hlpv=2&ops=true&viphx=1&hlpht=true&lpid=108&chn=ps&device=c&rlsatarget=&adtype=pla&crdt=0&ff3=1&ff11=ICEP3.0.0-L&ff12=67&ff13=80&ff14=108&ff19=0

Good luck Honey.x.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2015, 09:16:47 am by Sammysmammy »



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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2015, 18:41:42 pm »
Thanks for the advice and reassurance!

He did end up napping on the floor for about an hour and a half yesterday. I'm not sure whether that's progress.

When you say that it took a few days, do you mean that after a few days he stopped getting out of bed? Or that the first few days he never got back into bed at all?

I think it will take him much longer to go to bed if I sit there than if I just leave him, but I can try it for a while. I really don't know that he'll fall asleep with someone else in the room!

What does GW mean?

The last two mornings he's woken half an hour early and been grumpy. I didn't get him from his room until his usual wake time. (He was doing some whining and some playing, no crying or calling.) Is there anything else that would encourage or discourage EW with the BBB transition? Maybe he's just OT from the whole thing?

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2015, 18:48:13 pm »
Thanks for stopping by Vicki :)

GW = gradual withdrawal

Is there anything else that would encourage or discourage EW with the BBB transition? Maybe he's just OT from the whole thing?
Yes might be OT but also might be that as he comes into his lighter sleep instead of staying there or dozing he has fully woken faster due to realising he is in a slightly less familiar place. Doesn't sound like anything to worry about though.


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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #12 on: April 29, 2015, 19:29:08 pm »
We did it! He's napping in his new bed! I sat next to his bed and patted his back for a few minutes, then just had my hand on him, then sat without touching, then when he seemed like he was falling asleep I left. And he stayed where he was and he's asleep! Hooray!!! Hoping for a full length nap, but anything is a success.

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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #13 on: April 29, 2015, 20:03:19 pm »
Yay!  :D
And FX for tomorrow too :)


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Re: Transition to Big Bed - Tips?
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2015, 08:46:51 am »
Oh yeaaah!! great news :)

When you say that it took a few days, do you mean that after a few days he stopped getting out of bed? Or that the first few days he never got back into bed at all?

Sorry, to clarify, it took DS a few days to stay in his bed and not get out and walk around, faff about for ages lol. He always got back in eventually.

Thanks for stopping by Vicki

GW = gradual withdrawal

Pleasure :) this is one of those transitions that is pretty clear in my head, whereas my brain seems to be leaking for others!

Here's the GW link for future reference Hun :)

 Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

I suspect the EW is simply due to 'feeling' different in the bed, and hopefully will write itself FX'd  :-X.

Everything crossed for today.

x.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2015, 10:12:51 am by Sammysmammy »