Transition to Big Bed - Tips?

[Domestic Engineer]

Napping in crib today. He feel asleep for a few minutes in the car, which always makes his nap a struggle. I have to leave for an appointment before 4, so I waited until 2, he still didn't seem sleepy, but I had to get him down. I say in his room and tried ignoring him for 10 minutes, and got him to lie down a couple times, but he was being goofy and not sleepy. We were already down to 1.5 hrs for the nap and he usually does 2-3, so I just put him in the crib and he went right to sleep.

Nothing should disrupt napping this weekend, so hopefully we'll have some more successes.

[creations]

Are you using the same covers from his crib on his bed?  Just a thought that there may be some comfort related to those covers in the way a lovey is used.

[Domestic Engineer]

He had a blanket and pillow in his crib that we transferred. I can't use the crib sheet on the twin bed. He's also just taken to sleeping with a teddy bear. So cute!

Good BBB nap Friday. We were out shopping Saturday and he makes in the car. Yesterday he had a little trouble falling asleep but eventually slept in his bed. Today he seemed like he wouldn't, then he was lying on the pillow, then it started raining and he got out of bed. I have to get him up in 20 minutes anyway for a last minute appointment, so I guess hell just sleep however much he can in the car.

He's definitely getting OT. He's been going to bed late and waking early, about 30 min each, and naps have been 30-60 minutes shorter. He's grumpy all the time. It's been 10 days in the new bed - should I still expect things to work out on their own?

[creations]

should I still expect things to work out on their own?

Well, it does sound like you are making progress gradually but if it was me I'd want the transition done now.  I'd pack up the cot even if it was being got out again in a few weeks. Or remove all the sheets and mattress and make it unusable so that you and he are both forced to make the move. I know it can cause a few days of terrible naps but the transition time is far reduced.  What you're doing at the moment is causing OT anyway, but over a longer period of time.

Are you doing EBT on the short nap days?

[Domestic Engineer]

Part of the problem is that he's also been going to bed a little later because my husband has been making dinner most days, because I'm 8 months pregnant and tired. So dinner isn't ready until 7, and we're doing well to get 8:30 bedtime. I guess I should just feed Henry something at 6, even if we're eating something else later, so that he can get to bed early if he needs to.

He slept in this morning, so that's promising. But he's been rolling around on his bed for quite a while resisting the nap, even though he's really sleepy.

[creations]

I'm a big believer in family meals but there's no harm in giving him a meal on his own for a while as you are tired etc and as he is tired, rather than delay BT.
Not long to go now hey before the next LO makes an appearance. How exciting.

[Domestic Engineer]

Yesterday was the first day in his life that he did not nap at all from morning to bedtime. I brought him to his bed for his nap. I tried to get him to lie down, but he wasn't interested. I left him for a bit to play, then came back when he was whining and put him back in bed. Again, he wouldn't stay in bed. I left him to play again. After an hour and a half, I gave up and let him out of his room. I put him to bed as soon as it got dark.

Today similar, except that he did nap for a while on his floor. I took him into his room and put him down on his bed. I tried to pat his back. He laughed at me and got out of bed. I tried returning him several times. Same. I tried sitting on his bed to block the opening where he can climb down, but he tried to climb over the rail instead. I tried pinning him down, which obviously didn't help. I left him in his room. After just a couple of minutes he fell asleep on the floor for about 45 minutes. I saw him on the monitor trying to climb into his bed, but he couldn't or wouldn't get up there. (I've seen him do it many times, but he likes to be helpless, especially when he's tired.) I went to put him in bed, and that made him hysterical, so I let him get up.

I'm feeling really discouraged with naptime. Like maybe this just isn't going to work and I'm going to have to let him keep sleeping in the crib. I will buy another crib if that's what it takes to get naps back. I am not going to have my high sleep needs 18 month old drop his nap as the new baby is born.

The problem is that he has a spirited personality and doesn't want to stay in bed and sleep when there's fun stuff to do. I could take the toys out of his room, but that won't really solve the problem - he'll just find something else to do.

No problem whatsoever at night. Perfect sleeper every night.

And yes, I'm 35.5 weeks along! So I really need to have this under control. What if baby comes in two weeks??

[creations]

I think there are a few options here
- take down the cot, put it away. He will see it is gone, let him take part in it.  I know you don't want the extra work but buying a new crib will involve money plus building it so there is still work involved. I would do it as a very positive thing, make jokes and have lots of cuddles whilst it is done too.
- be utterly consistent in keeping him in the room and telling him it is nap time, but not to physically restrain him in his bed, you don't want to create a fear or negative association there. It takes huge effort for parents to make changes like this but it can and should all be gentle and respectful for LO

Or - buy the second crib as you have said.
If you are going to do this then I would totally stop trying to get him to nap in his BBB and get back on track with sleep and naps asap, it would be so much better if he is well rested and in a good routine before baby arrives rather than you trying this transition inconsistently for the next few weeks and then deciding at the last minute he can keep his crib. Where will his crib be if you get a second? Will it stay in the same room and position where it is at present? any movement of the crib can actually bring on another refusal as it is another transition for him to cope with.

I'm going to see if anyone else has any more ideas for you.

[anna*]

Honestly, if getting a second crib for the new baby is an option, I would just go with that. 17 months is really young to switch to a BBB, and he does seem to be 'telling you' that he prefers it He could easily stay in his crib for at least another 18 months. IME this is definitely a transition that is easier, later.

[becj86]

I tried the BBB transition with DS around this age and it really didn't work well. He slept ok in it but fell out and just struggled with the lack of enclosure, not necessarily for safety as he only fell out once but also for his feeling of security. We ended up going back to the crib and he stayed in it until 3.5. Much easier transition at that age, so if its an option, I'd get another cot for the new baby, especially as the 18 months sleep regression may well hit shortly...

Best of luck with baby

[Domestic Engineer]

Since he's already fully transitioned to STTN in his BBB with no difficulty whatsoever, it seems backward to move him back to the crib at night. On the other hand, there's not room for both the BBB and a second crib. So I guess I would have to. I would just take out his big bed and put the extra crib in his new room where the bed is now.

We can try taking down and removing the crib this weekend and see if it helps. I think I'd like to give it another week, since night time has gone so well, though in another week I'll be 37 weeks along. Baby 1 didn't come until 40.5 weeks, so hopefully the same for this LO! Anyway, my mom is going to stay with us for 4-6 weeks after the baby is born, so if he's still struggling, there will be someone who can still devote time to getting him to sleep without worrying about the baby. Definitely not ideal, though, especially considering how easy naps were in the crib. (Walk into the room, set him down, come back in 2-3 hours!)

Creations, when I'm trying to be consistent with keeping him in the room, how long do I keep at it for? If he hasn't napped after one hour? Two hours? If he's playing, do I just sit there for an hour and watch him play? If I return him to his bed, he thinks it's a hilarious game. Should I try leaving the room, assuming it doesn't upset him? Yesterday he fell asleep on the floor as soon as I left the room.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Honey,

I definitely think the crib needs to go, it is confusing him, and long as he thinks it's an option the transition is going to be much harder YK 

You can't make him nap, you can only give him the opportunity. Personally if staying with him isn't working and you feel WI/WO is better then do that. Leave him to it, if he goes to sleep on the floor, then just leave him. I would decide on a time to get him up, regardless of when he goes to sleep and wake him. Decide this on the amount of A time you think he needs to make BT go as smoothly as possible. I he doesn't nap, then maybe bring BT forward, if that is possible 

Also, did you say you have an extra crib  or is his crib the one for the new baby  I am just wondering if he is too young, and whether it was a move too soon. I have known people go back and wait it out until LO is more accepting of the change, it isn't a problem, but I can't remember if he was climbing out or not  If so maybe look into getting a canopy for safety reasons 

Let me know your thoughts Hun. ((HUGS)) I can imagine how tiring this is being so pregnant!

x.

[creations]

I'd let him sleep on the floor, I think eventually he would start using the bed, I think you said he tried to climb in himself but failed.

Many people do keep LOs in a cot for much longer. Things I'd think about are
- ability to climb out
- safety instructions on the crib (ours said to remove bars at 18 months as a safety measure it was a cot-bed so transformed to the BBB)
- your ability to lift him in and out ok without hurting yourself with the weight, it's not like lifting a baby. This does not matter to some and does for others, I have a bad back and there were times I could not lift DS in/out any more which caused problems.
- weigh up the cost of a second cot when many do transition at this age fine (but it's ok to stay in a cot too)
- consider if the cot goes into his new room, will he take a nap in it or not. It may be the room not the bed which is preventing the nap from taking place. The cot is in the nursery, yes? So it is still a transition.

Ultimately it's your choice.

With consistency if leaving the room works out better, do that, return if needed. If he doesn't nap do EBT.

I suppose you could try sleep talk at night to give him confidence to relax and fall happily to sleep in his BBB during the nap.  if you know about sleep talk. I'm afraid I often think it is useful in situations where other methods are not working out quite right but I am not helpful in it's use as I never read the book.  Might be worth looking into.

[Domestic Engineer]

It's been a week since he was in the crib at all, but I guess its presence could be confusing.

I don't have an extra crib. His is for the new baby. We already bought him the twin bed. I don't want to buy a second crib, but I will if there's no other way to make him nap.

He can't climb out of the crib. He's not much of a climber. It's a drop side, so I'm  able to lift him.

I hate the idea of another crib. But, he has to nap! Babbling on the floor of his room right now. I barely kept him awake on the way home and he's really tired, but now he's wound himself up again. I hate this. I don't know whether DH will be willing to get another crib. We could probably find a used one. Grrr...

[creations]

So last Thursday was his last crib nap then?  Sorry, I didn't realise a whole week had gone by.
I would just keep going if it was me.  Sorry, sometimes things just are hard and take time.  Even if you do choose to go back to the cot and by a second cot, it's a hard decision to make. I can feel how hard this is for you.