Author Topic: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old  (Read 4091 times)

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Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #30 on: May 22, 2015, 05:09:26 am »
I am struggling with what I have to be really tough on and what to just try and let wash over me?

That is a fairly personal thing really...the things I choose to be tough on may be things you would let slide. Here the battles I will fight are very few - maybe because by #3 I am just tired and partly because I don't really care if they use my sofa as a balance beam so long as they learn other people have different rules!

I think seeing that she went to bed fairly well for a new person that the bedtime stuff is just her testing and seeing how you deal with it combined with possibly being undertired. It sucks but I think maybe coming up with a good plan out of the moment and sticking to it will help both of you.
Heidi




Offline Haribo2012

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #31 on: May 22, 2015, 06:10:57 am »
When my DS is having a difficult phase I do find that if I am chilled with a "well that's up to you" attitude things are a lot easier.
Mandatory things for us are a bath (filthy after nursery) if he's in a good mood then great we play, if not its in quick wash and out.
Teeth, always get done.
Pre bed wee or no stories.
After that if he chose to take pj off of then I'd say well that's up to you but you might be cold, give option of another pair of not I'd say ok let's get tucked in.

We were well into the odd NND by that age and the BT faffing was much less with a shorter nap or no nap.
it will pass but you need to stay firm with what you want.

Hugs hope you had a good night x
Zoe


Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #32 on: May 22, 2015, 12:58:17 pm »
Hi Claire, I see you have plenty of support but just want to pop on with much empathy, as I have been here with DS soooooo many times. In my experience is developmental, ie: becoming more aware of being able to make there own choices and testing just how much they can get away with, and I am sure we had this at the same age. I find it is so difficult to accept that these times are down to development, probably because it is then pretty much out of your control, and that is hard to bear. WRT her nap and the 1-0 I would be wary of cutting it back too much with this behaviour in the mix, because you can be fixing what isn't broken, and my experience/gut tells me that it won't make any difference right now as to how long it takes her to settle.

The things I have done over these tricky periods are:

Go through all the demands being made at BT like wee wee, water, change of pyjamas etc etc etc  ::) before she gets into bed, also I would avoid too much fluid for the last hour of BT if possible, then you can be more certain she doesn't need the potty. So get her to choose her nightwear. Give her water, but just a small amount in a sippy, when it's gone it's gone (you can always put a little more in after she is asleep) Have her go to the potty just before going in her cot.

Never go back on what you have said. Ask her if she would like a story on Mummy's knee, but tell her she needs to sit nicely, and if she can't then Mummy will stop the story (may seem harsh but if she is anything like DS she will need firm boundaries or she will flail in the wind? and there's every chance it may only take one or two evenings before she is sitting nicely again) Once she is in her cot I would stick with WI/WO "Mummy is going to X Y Z I'll be back soon" and go back in every 2 or 3 minutes around 3 times, then only go back in if she is calling.

And lastly, try and breathe deeply  :-* this too shall pass, and you can only do so much to help sleep through these difficult periods of development.

I hope this makes sense and helps. Sorry I haven't had time to read the whole thread, so I may have contradicted PP's  :-X ;)

((HUGS))

Vicki.x.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2015, 13:00:50 pm by Sammysmammy »



Offline Clairehv

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #33 on: May 23, 2015, 19:03:01 pm »
Hi
Thanks for the messages. I am going to take the time to read them properly.
We have come to my in-laws for the weekend. Last night was so bad. ( I had about 4 hours sleep )
Tonight is dreadful with flat refusal to go in travel cot and no real alternate apart from our double bed.

I really take on board the consistent boundaries and I will really read the advice and then as soon as we are back at home we need to implement a strategy. I did stick with the GW and wi/wo and no improvement in the length of messing about & bedtime resistance so perhaps further nap capping is needed.
Thanks for the support. I actually think I would be at the Drs re how down I am If I didn't have you all to talk to.
Thanks again x
Claire




Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #34 on: May 23, 2015, 20:17:12 pm »
(((Hugs))) do whatever you have to while you are away! The last time we were at a hotel I paced the floor with my 25lb toddler in my arms for over an hour to get her to sleep, and generally we end up co sleeping if we are away.
Heidi




Offline Haribo2012

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #35 on: May 23, 2015, 20:22:35 pm »
Whenever we go to my in laws my DA always ends up in Our bed at some point! Just do what you have to so u get some sleep xx
Zoe


Offline Haribo2012

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #36 on: May 29, 2015, 20:50:54 pm »
How's it going hun?x
Zoe


Offline Clairehv

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #37 on: May 31, 2015, 18:56:39 pm »
Hi
Apologies I have been AWOL. It has been a manic week.
As suggested we did what we needed to to survive the weekend and got home on Monday.
I have to say that actually this week had been getting progressively better with the messing around reducing and E actually going to sleep herself with the WI/WO increasingly easier with her asleep by around 7.15pm and waking at around 7am. Last night she slept 7pm to 7.35am wow!!
However tonight due to a social arrangement she only had a 40min nap waking at 2pm and we didn't get home until 7pm.
We are in the middle of a complete OT meltdown.... She won't allow me to pick her up do story or anything. She has taken her pjs and nappy off and just screams hysterically when I go in.
I am kicking myself. We had almost turned a corner and am hoping we are not back to square one!!
Claire




Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #38 on: May 31, 2015, 20:05:15 pm »
It will be ok! If she got there once you can get back there again. Fx she settles in for the night soon.
Heidi




Offline Haribo2012

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #39 on: May 31, 2015, 20:11:59 pm »
As Heidi says it will be fine, she will get there again. Back to routine tomor, we have to live life.
I thought going on holiday with my DS would ruin everything with a long flight and huge time difference but he coped and slept better than ever.

Keep calm lots of gentle reassuring words and she will give in eventually Hun xx
Zoe


Offline K-JDA

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #40 on: May 31, 2015, 20:14:18 pm »
Sounds like you are doing great. I always stress about going outside routine particularly if ST'ing but she'll soon be back into the groove!

Offline Clairehv

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #41 on: May 31, 2015, 20:50:37 pm »
Hi
Thank you. Just typical isn't it. I am sure we had almost turned the corner and if the last 8 weeks were a very long developmental leap combined with SA and some AP the,last 5 nights had really been better.

Tonight was just awful, she,was so OT she didn't know what to do with herself. After hysterics and taking her pjs and nappy off she wouldn't let me pick her up, she had a wee accident in her cot which obviously meant she got really upset, so I ended up with a very tired naked toddler asleep finally by 8.30pm in my arms in our bed. :'( bless her.
Think we can definitely say E does not push through well.
Have got a nappy on and pj bottoms in her sleep and transferred to a clean dry cot at 9pm

Back to hopefully our improved bedtime tomorrow.
Claire




Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #42 on: June 01, 2015, 04:39:31 am »
Aww poor girl! (((hugs))) for you both, hope tomorrow is better xx
Heidi




Offline Clairehv

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #43 on: June 02, 2015, 21:06:55 pm »
Hi
Well the good news is that DH has done bedtime for the last two nights and the messing around is minimal and she has gone into cot easily and has been asleep by 7.15pm

Honestly I was thinking things wouldn't get better but being more consistent has clearly worked. Plus maybe she really was affected by that 2.5 year developmental leap.
Anyway we have 12nights to stay on track before going on holiday really messes it up again ha ha!!
She was up last night at 3.30am for 1.5hrs but I am hoping that is a blip
Thanks for sticking with me on this thread x x
Claire




Offline Haribo2012

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Re: dreadful bedtime with 31 month old
« Reply #44 on: June 03, 2015, 04:57:38 am »
That's great news hun, and when it comes to the hols don't worry just enjoy and she will surprise you most likely. These developmental blips really do throw things off xx
Zoe