14 mo trouble self soothing after NW or EW

[KatrinaW]

Hi all

My 14 mo LO has been on one nap for a few weeks now. He seems to be napping fine 2.5-3hrs. We just moved him from our bedroom into a shared room with my oldest. The first night my oldest woke at 3am and woke him up..... Problem is - it takes him hours to fall back to sleep if he gets woken up. I usually have to hold him or give him a bottle and even then he stays awake for hours. Night 4 he cried when I tried to put him down for bed and I ended up rocking him to sleep in the living room. Tonight he did the same thing. I tried to get him to fall asleep in his crib and he will lay down if I sit beside it but he keeps moving and can't settle. I took him to the living room again, rocked him until drowsy and then set him down and continued rubbing his back until he fell asleep... Fast forward to 10:45pm (when my oldest fell out of his bed and made a loud noise) he woke up cring. It's now 12:05am and he is still wide awake. He cried in the crib so I sat in the room for 30 min, then I took him out to the living room and rocked him and not once did he close his eyes... I set him back down in his crib and he laid quietly for about 10 min and started crying again. I can't let him cry and wake up my oldest. I don't know how to get him to go back to sleep, he's always been like this. Also, every morning when he wakes up he cries. He can lay quietly for a couple minutes but that's his limit. It's hard being woken up to screaming every morning.... If he wakes early say 5am for whatever reason, he sometimes will fall back to sleep at 7am! I'm at a loss - help!

[creations]

Bumping this for you.
Sounds like he needs some sleep training so he can learn to self settle in his bed instead of this habit of being held and taken to the living room, but as I only have one child I don't have experience of ST in a shared room.
I'm sure there will be some helpful support coming your way soon.

Hang in there.

[anna*]

My two have always shared a room and have done plenty of sleep training with them both in the room. Is your oldest a light sleeper? There were so many times I was sure the little one crying would for sure wake her brother, but actually she rarely did and we went through several phases of sleep training. We bought the oldest a set of kids ear defenders (about £7 on eBay if I remember right) and if he did wake up he would put on his ear defenders and go back to sleep. On the one or two very rare occasions he was woken right up, I'd sent him to go and get into my bed, and transfer him back to his bed once the baby was back to sleep.

[KatrinaW]

Thanks for your replies ladies!

He normally falls asleep on his own with no issues. Nap time is always easy it's only bedtime that's an issue recently. I'm thinking he may actually not be tired enough at bedtime. Last night we tried bedtime at 7:30pm and he stood up and chatted then cried. I took him to the living room and tried later with the same result. I did the same thing again, took him out put him back to bed later and he fell right to sleep. Right now he's sleeping 2.5-3hrs during the day and our days are becoming too long. Yesterday:

WU 6:15am
Nap 12:30-3:15
BT 9:00pm

Should I cap the nap at 2hrs to get him in bed earlier and make his night a little longer?

[anna*]

Why do you take him out when he cries?

[KatrinaW]

He wakes up my oldest. My oldest has sensory issues and will not put anything in or on his ears. He's a pretty light sleeper so we can't transfer him without waking him up

[anna*]

I think there's not going to be any magic remedy if you can't do some sleep training with him

[KatrinaW]

He falls asleep for naps fine and only bedtime has been a struggle theis past week. When he has a NW or EW what method of sleep training would you suggest? I've tried sitting next to his crib and he lays there quietly for hours but doesn't fall asleep.

[anna*]

If he's awake for hours but not crying, I'd say that he doesn't really need you in there with him at all? He's going to bed very late, so quite likely overtired, so I would really go for a bedtime 12-13 hours (if he's had a long nap) after his wake up time.

[Buntybear]

Hi - I would say that his day looks quite long. Is his BT at 9 because he is not tired enough before then? If so I would cap the nap.

[KatrinaW]

If he's awake for hours but not crying, I'd say that he doesn't really need you in there with him at all?

He only lays quietly if I sit next to the crib as soon as I move he screams. The other night I got him to sleep 12hrs after WU by rocking him to sleep - that was also the same night he was awake from 10:45pm-3am. We've tried every night to have him in bed at a reasonable time and he just cries.

I would say that his day looks quite long. Is his BT at 9 because he is not tired enough before then? If so I would cap the nap.

His day is way too long. His bedtime is 9pm because its the only time I can set him in his crib without him screaming and he falls asleep on his own. What would you cap the nap at 2hrs?

[Buntybear]

With Olly I the time I woke him from his nap was more important than how long it was. Looking at the routine he had at around 14-16 months he was on a 2 hour nap but I would always wake him at by 2.30pm and then aim for a 7-7.30 bedtime.

I would probably cap at 2 hours and see how he goes. Olly was always worse to get to sleep when he was UT than OT and if he is settling for naps OK it sounds like you have the sweet spot for his first A time - it is the 2nd one you need to play with now.

[KatrinaW]

We capped yesterday at 2hrs so today looked like this:

Wu 8:10am (he went to bed at 9:30pm and woke from 2:20-2:50am)
Nap 12:45-2:45pm
BT 7:50pm

He went down for both nap and BT by himself, he protested for about 20 seconds and then went to sleep.... Problem is, he woke at 12:20am and stayed awake until 3am! Thoughts?

[Buntybear]

How was he at the NW? Is he getting any teeth?

[KatrinaW]

He woke up crying and I sat with him in his room in the dark and he chatted the rest of the time.

No teeth that I know of.