EWing

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Tired of the EWing and not sure what to do. Been trying to ride it out but no change yet!

18m old. Been waking between 5 and 530 for weeks since we night weaned and I stopped feeding before 6. For a while she would go back to sleep at 6 after nursing but the last few weeks she won't. My DH has been going in and laying on her floor and talking to her but she usually just screams until 6. we have been on vacation the last few days and can't let her scream so I've been taking her in bed and nursing her. She eats and then wanders around our room, playing. Totally awake.

Here is her EASY:

5/530 - A
1145 - S
2ish - A
7ish - S

Nap is easy, usually goes down well for the night. Maybe this is something we just need to deal with? It's terrible!

Big brother is EWing, too. 5.5 yo and totally has different behavior when he doesn't sleeping enough. If I try to put him down early he comes in and out, kicks the walls etc. Also driving us bananas.
515/530 - A
7/730 (sometimes 830 if he's being crazy) - S

Would appreciate thoughts there too. We are tired!

[jessmum46]

Couple of thoughts - gro clock?  She may well be of an age where she can start to understand it.  Push nap later and potentially shorten it too?  My DD had a nap at that time from about 13-16 months but it was often less than an hour 3x a week at nursery which is why I think we got away with it, from 16 months on we had to push it later on days at home and I think we capped at 2h from about 18 months, even with the short naps on nursery days (so average nap would have been more like 1h30).  Oh and as soon as you are home (I know vacation rules are different) I would strictly go back to your no nursing before an acceptable WU time - toddlers are pretty quick to take up habits again

No experience with big brothers age but would he go in his room early and listen to a story perhaps?  Music?  Look at books?  So a longer wind down period and perhaps that would let him relax into sleep a bit earlier?  What about a clock for him for the mornings?  It's not unreasonable I would say even if he is up early for him to self-entertain for a while

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Hmm I could try the gro clock. I struggle with changing the nap since we only recent got it solid. If I push it later she sleeps shorter. But I see your point that maybe that's what we need at this point for later mornings. Hmm. I definitely will go back to the hard line for morning nursing when we get home. So much for a relaxing vacation!

Big brother does entertain himself, at least. He's supposed to stay in bed until 615 and then he can get up and read. I just feel like he needs more sleep and I can't figure out how to get it for him!

[jessmum46]

Hard at that age I would think, EBT is really the only option isn't it?  Is his room *really* dark?  Just wondering if changing seasons and more light not helping?  Though do you know where he is sleep-needs wise?  I think 10.5-11h is pretty average for a 5-6yo, so perhaps in fact later BT could bring a later WU for you?  Does he act like he needs more sleep?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

He does act like he needs more sleep on those EW days. Just very quick to cry, doing things to bother his sister just because, etc. He's much nicer to be around with an extra hour in him! Ironically he did sleep until 615 today and is being lovely. We are on vacation and it's getting light even earlier here so I did aluminum foil the windows which may have helped. I will definitely darken his room when we get home.

[Elauriel]

No advice, but just wanted you to know that we're having the same problem with my just turned 18 months today boy! He nurses 2x a night still, and is getting up at 6AM instead of the 7:30/8 that he was doing just weeks ago (I'd say 80% of his life his w/u has been 5:30-6:30...those 8AM days were amazing!)  Besides a sleep regression, I think the light is bothering him.  We have blackout shades, but I think I'm going to tin foil the windows today because he plays with the shades after waking.

Good luck momma!

[Martini~]

Hi Honey - maybe it's sleep regression/ wonder week for your DD?

I know that you just went to one nap (couple of weeks ago) so thinking maybe your DD needs even longer nap and slightly longer day to cope fine? Do you wake her or does she wake by herself?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

I have tin foiled windows too! I'm aure the neighbors think we are growing pot lol.

We have been on one nap for a couple of months. She wakes herself from nap. Goes down easily and always seems tired for it. In fact if we are in the car or she is in the stroller after about 10am she will fall asleep. The 5am thing has been going on for a while now. I keep hoping she will adjust out of it herself but no!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Ok this is horrible. Yesterday she took a nap in the car from 10-1045 and then refused to nap again. Down for the night at 615. Up for the day at 417!!!! Ahh!! I just wanted to catch up on some rest this weekend and she is making that impossible. At first she was just fussing so I hoped she would go back but then she started all out crying. DH went in there and tried talking to her but she would not go back. He brought her in here at 5 since that's when she's been coming in anyway but no way she's even close to going back to sleep.

What do I do with this?!? I work almost every day for two weeks when we get home. She can't be doing this. It sucks!! I'm so upset.

[jessmum46]

Ugh yuck - hugs OT waking I guess, but then in the habit of not settling back to sleep.  If you can I would do a tiny catnap around 9ish (no more than 15-20 mins) and then get her to her usual nap time.  Have you started trying to push nap later yet?  I do think that's the way to go ultimately, as well as reducing the attention that she gets if she wakes early.  Does she wake screaming?  Or does that only start once DH goes in? 

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

She wakes fussing a bit. I usually leave her. Then she will escalate to screaming.

Yesterday looked like this:

415: A
6: S (on me)
740: A
1255: S
255: A
815: S

This morning she was up at 503. I tried to get her back down but no way. So even after a later BT she is wide awake. Argh?!?

[jessmum46]

Yucky a later nap won't give results in a day, but I do wonder if the EW/not resettling is habit-related too...are you still on hols?  Just thinking how many NWs you were getting before you bit the bullet and stopped feeding, I wonder if the early morning snuggles/BF may be fuelling her not resettling?  It's a tough one, I love those early morning cuddles/snuggly feeds too, and it is so cute when they go back to sleep on you but I think to be sure without a shadow of a doubt this is routine-related you may have to bite the bullet and totally separate BFing from sleep.  My suggestion would be to regardless of WU time keep her in her room until an acceptable time, 6am say, and try resettling until then.  If she is not back asleep by then you get up and start the day.  Take her straight to a brightly lit room and distract her with playing for a good 10-15 mins before offering a BF if you want to continue that, I'm assuming yes?  And don't let her go back to sleep, once you are up for the day push her through to naptime, dance a jig (paraphrasing Tracy here...) if you need to keep her awake.  Sounds really harsh and she will be very tired to begin with, but I think she may need that level of tiredness to be willing to resettle in the morning without holding out for the snuggles.  What do you think?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Honey,

Many ((HUGS)) these guys are on 'cahoots' eh? WRT your 5 year old, as I have one also, I can tell you that sleep has been very changeable and strange for us lately. He is swinging between anything from 10 hours to 1 hours, and surprisingly he seems to be okay on 10 often! Ugh, I miss those 12 hour nights! There have been quite a few posts lately stating the same thing, so if you want to shift his WU I suspect you may have to suck up the later nights with allowing him to read or listen to audio stories maybe? So that he is still in his room giving yourselves the 'couple' time you need, which is something we deem important in this house. With DS we are getting so many 'call backs' and messing about at BT, and it seems that he is just UT despite busy days at school etc.

Your DS is getting 10 to 10.5 hours just like Sam, and if I allow Sam some later nights, then he seems to SR with a later WU eventually or an earlier night. It's hard to accept these shorter nights, but in this house it results in less stress, as long as he is in his room relaxing.

Maybe try the audio stories for him  Give him the chance to 'self regulate' and see how it goes.

What do you think 

x.

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Katherine, I think you're right. I said to DH this morning that I think the 5am WU is a habut now and the only way to break it is to go back to no nursing. She was still up and yelling at 5
When we were hkme but at least she was in a dark room. Today I put her to nap at 12 and got a totally OT 45 min nap. Sigh. We go home this weekend so we will crack down next week and reassess.

Vicki, I suspect you are right as well. I think we need to accept the shorter nights. Maybe the behavior issues in seeing aren't as related to sleep as I think. He usually goes down pretty well these days but in the morning can come in and out of our room a lot. Audio books for the AM could be good. The shorter bights stress me out most because I feel like he's more short tempered, cries more and is generally crabbier when he doesn't sleep well. But maybe that's just the age. Sigh again!

This too shall pass...right?

[Truly Blessed]

Audio books for the AM could be good. The shorter bights stress me out most because I feel like he's more short tempered, cries more and is generally crabbier when he doesn't sleep well. But maybe that's just the age.

It seems many parents of children around 5 and EW have accepted to focus on keeping them happy in their room, however that may be, so I think that would be a good call. This age has been a lot harder than I expected, DS is so full of emotion and his mood can turn on a sixpence, and I know it is not sleep related, I am sure it developmental. At the moment we are going through screaming like he has seriously injured himself if he hurts himself even slightly, it's wracking my nerves! This is just one example of what's going on right now  The joys lol.x.

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Vicki that does make me feel better. DS does that too! Some days he's just an emotional wreck. Sigh. I hope 6 is better!

[Truly Blessed]

Vicki that does make me feel better. DS does that too! Some days he's just an emotional wreck. Sigh. I hope 6 is better!

Thanks for sharing the pain lol. I'm just rolling with the punches these days, lots of elements are much easier, and after waiting to get out of the terrible 2's only to go through the worst developmental mayhem ever when 3 hit, I figure it's best not to speculate ha ha 

x.

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

So we are back home for about a week now. Not nursing until 6 but she is waking at 5 or earlier and just screaming until 6. DH goes into her room
And lays on her floor but she just screams and screams. I don't even know where to start!

Tried pushing the nap back and she short napped.

[katie80]

Ugh... (((hugs))), Kate.  It's like a parallel world over here.  I wish we could throw them together in a crib... maybe both of them screaming would provide enough distraction for them to stop!   I'm feeling down about it, frustrated and a bit checked out too.

Have you tried lights on a timer at all? Maybe she would start to understand that she won't be taken out of the room until they come on? I'm getting close to putting some in Charlie's room. 

Remind me what her routine looks like...

[Truly Blessed]

Does she tack on sleep at all Hun? Just wondering if an early or super early night ever works out?

((HUGS))

x.