Author Topic: Wind down for 2 sharing room?  (Read 805 times)

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Offline mama_tutu

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Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« on: May 10, 2015, 03:12:33 am »
My 17 mo and 3 yo dds have shared a room for the past 9 months... It was an absolute nightmare at first, but they have finally adjusted, for the most part. The trick right now is getting them to go to sleep - particularly the little one. She has started talking and squealing for an hour or more. Then her big sister starts getting out of bed and playing or leaving the room to see us. They just wind each other up.

Her day usually looks like this:
7:30 wake
12:00 nap
2:30/3 wake (2:00 on T/Th at her MDO... doesn't make a diff in BT. Still chats away. Loudly.)
5:00 bath (moved this week to before dinner after always doing it after... hasn't made much of a difference either.)
6:00 dinner
7:00 "quiet" time w/ books, warm milk, song and prayer, low light, sound machine
7:30 bed

Despite a super predictable routine, they are both so wound up at BT!! I don't know what else to do to help them relax, so we just end up having to discipline, which makes for a really sad, upsetting BT. :(  I read through the wind down post, but didn't see anything re: two sharing a room. Help? 

Offline mama_tutu

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2015, 03:31:32 am »
I want to make one thing clear... we're finding it hard to effectively discipline the little one. How can you discipline a baby for being happy?? ha!! When I said that we end up disciplining, it's the older one for getting out of bed, because she knows better and is directly disobeying. But then we feel bad, because we know if her sister wasn't sitting there jabbering away, she probably would have gone right on to sleep. Anyway... just wanted to clarify!!

Offline Buttonbobs

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2015, 08:18:12 am »
Hi there, is that the routine for the 17 month old? If so, can you post your younger DD's EASY?

Often being overly chirpy at BT can be a sign of UT, so there might not be much in the way of sleep training that you can do to encourage quiet at BT if this is the case. But if that routine is your 9 month old's EASY I'd be surprised if she were UT as that is quite an advanced routine for such a young LO, has she always been low sleep needs?
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Offline mama_tutu

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2015, 21:24:10 pm »
Hi Buttonbobs! Thanks so much for the reply.  The routine is for the 17 month old... she is my baby. My other daughter is 3 years old (they have been sharing a room for the past nine months...I'm so sorry that was super confusing! my fault). My 3 year old's routine is very similar...

7:00/7:30 wake up
12:30/1:00-2:30 nap (although this is actually all over the place, and if she sleeps too late it just doesn't happen. But on T/Th she sleeps 12:00-1:45 at school... I can't get her to sleep that early here at home.)
7:30 bedtime

I know I let her nap too long, but I just can't wrap my brain around a 3yo not napping. I remember napping into Kindergarten, and I think sleep is just so important! So I "make" her as best I can. She is a BEAR if she doesn't get it. The 3yo has always been high sleep need, the 17mo has always been lower. She started moving to one nap at 9/10 months!

Offline Martini~

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2015, 06:02:15 am »
They are both sleeping quite a lot during day. Have you considered pushing BT later?
Do you make BT together? Have you considered separating that so let's say the younger will be put to sleep at 7:30 and the older 8:00 after the younger will already be asleep?
You say the older does need her sleep, what about the younger? Can you cap her nap slightly to make her more tired at BT?
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Offline Buttonbobs

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2015, 18:09:37 pm »
Sorry I was a little confused, you weren't unclear at all, don't know how I read that so wrong :) thank you for clarifying.

I agree with pp, that there is probably just too much sleep for your three yo. my DD is 3.5 years and she has not napped at all since this time last year when she was 2.5 years old. Not all 3 year olds nap at all.

Have you read the notes on the road to dropping the np, hints and tips:
The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

The 1-0 transition is a longish one so don't worry, getting started doesn't mean you'll lose the nap immediately. You may need to either accept a later bedtime for your older LO. Or cap the nap. What do you think?
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Offline mama_tutu

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2015, 01:22:43 am »
Yes, that makes a lot of sense... I've just held on to her nap because she has always been so high need (my 3yo). She's also epileptic and her medicine makes her moody and emotional - it's 10 times worse when she's tired. I'm just afraid of that transition. I know it's going to be bumpy, but I guess it already is so what do we have to lose? The little one has always handled less sleep SO much better... She's pretty spirited to begin with, so we're able to push her a lot more than her sister. If she's OT she usually just has a NW or two, but puts herself back down. I don't even remember what a normal nap length is for her age anymore... I need to go look that up. 

Honestly I don't even know what will work anymore... ever since the time change we've been all over the place. Today, they both had normal wake up times (7:15) and shorter naps (little bit was 12:30-2:15 and big girl was 1:00-2:30, capped). Even still, little bit is in there right now (8:20pm) just talking and squealing. I was later getting them in bed tonight because, well, life, so it was almost 8:00. They were just so hyper I had no idea how to get them calm without being mean mommy, which actually doesn't help at all.

We used to put little bit down first, then big girl 30-45 later, but then little went through a take-forever-phase (I'm seeing a pattern...) and it was pushing big girl too late. So somehow we settled on them going down together. We obviously just need to readjust that again. My husband really pushes for them to be in bed by 7:30... this is terrible, but honestly I think we're just ready to tap out by then. Because, well, life. ;) 

Thanks so much for the help, advice, and place to vent. I know y'all have to put a ton of time into these boards. Your work is so valuable and appreciated.

Offline Buttonbobs

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Re: Wind down for 2 sharing room?
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2015, 06:22:57 am »
Aw bless you honey. These boards are "staffed" by people just like you, we come here, receive support from others, make friends and stick around to give support back. It is a wonderful place to be part of, I hope you feel the same :)

I can understand your concern about making sure your DD1 gets sufficient sleep, I can imagine it is very important to make sure ahe does not get OT.

So it sounds like her EAS was:

WU:  7.15
Nap: 1-2.30 (capped)
Bt: tried for 8 - not sure what time she did go to sleep.

This actually sounds like a good EAS, if she'll sleep for these times. My own Dd would have found this too much sleep even at 2 years old, but if it's not broken keep with it. You may well find that s time goes on you need to cap that nap shorter and keep WU from the nap the same time to keep BT no later than 7.30. We opted to move BT later and keep the nap full length as this suited our DD better. She was a true grump all afternoon if her nap was capped. The downside of this was that Bt did get pretty late as we moved the nap later in the day and it got as late as 9.30/10 just before we went cold turkey to no nap.

It is difficult to go through the 1-0 without some OT unfortunately, but for now it sounds like nap capping suits you best and keeps BT more stable for you as a family.

So DD2:

WU: 7.15
Nap: 11.30-2.15 (still a good length nap even though a little less than 2 hours). You could tey shifting this a little bit later - say 15 mins - to see if she sleeps a little longer again, or it could just be a one off shorter nap.
BT: after 8.20pm

Do you feel like DD2 needs to have her nap capped too? Or is it possible the chatting at BT was caused by her being OT at BT due to the slightly attempt? Sometimes LOs need a little more A time as they come up for the 18 month sleep regression. Do you feel she is going through a developmental blip? If so, you might need to adjust things for a while so your DD1 can head to sleep first and then put Lo2 down after (if the chatting wouldnMt wake DD1)
« Last Edit: May 12, 2015, 06:24:38 am by Buttonbobs »
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