13 month old waking b/w 4-5 am and not wanting to go back to sleep....help!

[lady_jaeb]

Hi,

Below is my 13 month old little girls schedule,

Between 4 & 5 am - wakes and gets 5 oz of milk
6:30 am - breakfast
9:00 am - snack (at daycare all the other kids eat breakfast now but my little one just eats a smaller amount for a snack)
10:30 am - nap (15 to 30 minutes)
12:00 - Lunch
1:00 pm - Nap time (my little girl sleeps between 30 mins to 1 hour)
3:00 pm - Afternoon snack
5:15/5:20 pm - Supper
6:45 pm - Bath-time
7:15 pm - 7 oz of formula
7:30 pm - Sleeping

My daughter drinks cow's milk during the day.  I did notice that after she was transitioned to cows milk from formula that she stopped sleeping from 7 pm until 7 am and started waking at about 6 am for about a month and then for about the last 3 weeks or so she has been waking between 4 am and 5 am.  I feed her formula before bed but the rest of the day it is water and cows milk.  I thought that giving her formula before bed would keep her fuller longer.  We have had a few mornings in the last few weeks where she has woken at 2 am or so and drank 5 oz of cows milk, then went back to sleep until about 5 am.  I tried to transition her to one nap a day but I couldn't get her there before she started daycare.  They are trying there at daycare to get her to one nap a day but she has been there for 3 weeks and her naps are still not getting any better.  I am wondering if I should move her bed time back to about 7:45 pm by giving her her formula before bed at 7:30 pm instead of 7:15 pm.  Any thoughts?  It just seems that within a 24 hour period she is sleeping 9-10 hours at night and about 1-1.5 hours during the day for a total of 11-11.5 hours of sleep and that just doesn't seem like enough.  Should she eat more?  Should I only give her water when she wakes early or in the night and not feed her milk or food until at least 6:30 am?  I have had a few days where I got her to go back to sleep until 7 am and then she only had one nap that day for 2 hours.  Any help is greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Hi there. Sorry that you're struggling.  I'm going to move this over to toddler sleep as your LO is over 12 months old now

[Buntybear]

It seems a very long day for her if she is only getting 2 short naps. I would have though an earlier BT would be better?

Sorry no advice on feeds though 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

At this age I think it is more about the overall routine than needing to wake to eat (this about the age that if my kids had a day of picky eating that I stopped worrying if they would sleep - it honestly had little bearing on their sleep, they ate what they needed and any nw/ew were more apt to be from teething, development leaps or routine issues). I would for sure stop the milk at night and offer water (we did a spill proof sippy of water in their bed).

How early could you have her in bed for the night?

[Martini~]

Can I ask about the first nap? It seems that this nap makes her UT for a second nap and in result OT for BT. What makes her to wake early... like a vicious cycle.

Is the first nap a must have? At 13mo many kids are really close to one nap.

[becj86]

Hi sweetie, I could be off base here, but I'm wondering if she's a bit overstimulated at daycare and not napping well - how long has she been there? What's her routine like when she's not at daycare - does she still nap at the same times and for the same length of time?

What are your feelings re: the night length? What would be your ideal night length, BT and WU?

[Katet]

At this age I think it is more about the overall routine than needing to wake to eat (this about the age that if my kids had a day of picky eating that I stopped worrying if they would sleep - it honestly had little bearing on their sleep, they ate what they needed and any nw/ew were more apt to be from teething, development leaps or routine issues). I would for sure stop the milk at night and offer water (we did a spill proof sippy of water in their bed).

This ^^^ I had a child that did that 5am wake up & I'd feed, he would actually go back to sleep, but the habit just became more ingrained as his body clock set to the 5am feed. What I learnt was that from about 9mo it really was about the food in 24hours not the food at night/4am.... so the fact she is waking is less about being hungry & more about the habits that have been formed. 
She seems to be getting really low sleep for her age, I know both my low sleep need DS2 was low sleep & he was still getting 13hours at that age.

My thought would be to only offer water at any wakeups until breakfast, won't be easy (I know from a BTDT) but it is short term struggle for long term gain. Then work towards a later breakfast so you break the habits of timing on her digestion. It may not be something you want to do, but as both my boys were BF & once they stopped the bedtime feed (DS1 at 14mo, DS2 17mo) they had a 'supper' rather than milk if they had an early Dinner, when they were little we did generally have Dinner around 6/6.30pm, because of household routine & I don't know if that helped, but I do know that no milk or food before 6am did help, that slowly stretched out to 7am

[lady_jaeb]

Thanks everyone for the information.

Usually when the LO is at daycare the nap secession/quiet time is from 1 - 3 pm.  She usually gets her afternoon snack at about 3 pm when quiet time is over.  LO could possibly go to bed earlier at about 6:30 pm instead of 7 pm or 7:30 pm, but I am worried that she will wake even earlier :-(

For one week I pushed her bedtime bottle from 7 pm to 7:15 pm and if she woke in the morning between 4 and 6 am I would give her 5 oz of milk.  Now for the next week I thought about pushing her bedtime bottle to 7:30 pm and now when she wakes in the morning between 4 and 6 am she only gets 4 oz of milk.  I also do not feed her breakfast (toast and fruit) until 6:30 am if she is up early.  So if she wakes at 5 am and will not go back to sleep I do not feed her toast and fruit until 6:30 am.

I did offer her water in a sippy cup one morning instead of milk and she cried so hard it took her breath away and she threw the sippy cup....(attitude for 13 months). 

Ideally for our routine and daycare she doesn't need to get up until about 6:30 am or 6:45 am.

I tried and experiment on the weekend.  So Friday night she got her sippy cup of milk at 7:30 and was asleep by about 7:45 pm.  She woke at 5 am and I gave her 4 oz of milk and then laid her back in her crib, then it was PU/PD for the next hour then finally at about 6 am she went back to sleep and woke on her own at 7:30 am.  Then at 7:30 am I fed her breakfast.  She ate lunch at about 11:30 am and went down for a nap at 12:30 pm (her first nap, there was no morning nap).  She slept for 2 hours.  I did the same thing Saturday night.  She got her sippy cup of milk at 7:30 pm and was asleep by 7:45 pm.  Then she woke Sunday morning at about 5:20 am, I gave her 4 oz of milk and we did PU/PD for about 25 minutes when she finally fell back asleep and slept until 7:40 am, when she woke I gave her breakfast (toast and fruit).  She didn't have a morning nap but went down for her nap at 12:30 pm and only slept for 30 minutes, I tried for 1 hour to get her to go back to sleep but she didn't want to.  So I left her play.  Then at 3 pm I fed her about 10 oz of milk as part of her afternoon snack, she was fighting hard to go for a nap but I knew she was overtired.  So finally by 3:30 pm she was asleep and slept for 2 hours (waking at 5:30 pm).  I know that was too late.  So last night she got her sippy cup of milk at about 7:45 pm.  Then she was crying and talking to herself in bed until she settled on her own at about 8:30 am.  So this morning (Monday) she woke on her own at 6 am.

My LO has been at daycare full time since May 4th.  She goes for sure 4 days a week (Tuesday-Friday) for the full day and she goes half days on Monday because her dad is home.  Before she went to daycare and was home with me just the two of us, I tried to get her on a one nap a day (I started the beginning of March) but I had no luck, she started getting up really early and basically falling asleep in your arms or during lunch and morning snack time that she couldn't go without a morning nap and only slept about 30 minutes so I knew she needed another nap or she would never make it to bedtime.  The daycare has told me on two occasions that the LO has went for her afternoon nap, slept 45 minutes woke and then the daycare got her to go back to sleep for 45 minutes.  Sometimes I feel that she doesn't really know how to put herself back to sleep. 

It has only been this weekend and last weekend that after getting the LO to go back to sleep in the morning (if she wakes earlier than 6 am) that when she goes for her nap between 11:30 and 12:30 that she sleeps 2 hours and only needs the one nap.  All other weekend previously to these two past ones (May 23rd & 24th and May 16th & 17th) that she always needed 2 naps.  I prefer that she doesn't wake up any earlier than 6:30 am.  If she only got up at 6:45 am that would work great because I would be all ready for work and she would wake and her and I would eat breakfast together, then I would take her to daycare.  So it seems like she won't really sleep more than 9.5 hours at night without waking and then having to be put back to sleep.  Have her stay up until 8 pm or so is ok.  If she goes to bed later and sleeps later then mommy can still get the same amount of sleep (when going to bed by 10 pm).  But is the LO goes to bed too early and only sleeps 9.5 hours then she is up too early (I hope that makes sense).

I definitely believe that her waking is not driven by hunger.  Its a habit that has formed and formed quickly.  I am trying to break the habit by getting her to go back to sleep which I do by feeding her, but each week I reduce the feed down an ounce and hope eventually she will make up for the during the day and eventually she will sleep longer and not wake up crying early.  See when she wakes between 4 and 6 am she wakes crying, but after she gets some milk and goes back to sleep she wakes up happy and talking and smiley not crying.

See eventually I don't want her to be drinking 7-8 oz of milk right before bed.  I really want her to eat more at supper time (6 pm) and then maybe have 5 oz of milk at 7 pm, then her bath and pj's, then brushing her teeth, then reading some books and then bed.  I feel she is so dependent on her milk right before bed to go to sleep that its scarey and I want her teeth brushed before bed instead of milk sitting in her mouth from her just finishing a sippy cup of it and then falling asleep in my arms.

Thanks again everyone!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

At this age it isn't really about making up the ounces of a feed during the day...you either feed or don't at that wake up - whether you whittle it away ounce by ounce of stop cold turkey your lo will be upset by it and if you are blessed with spirited lo it will be a lot of protest to change. So the choice is deal with it head on or continue the feed really as it is for sure a habit thing. Changing the bedtime milk around will help and going fully on to one nap - ew are usually a good indicator of needing to switch! Hopefully once your lo is into the swing of things at daycare that naps start getting easier there - I imagine the 45 min wake up mid nap might be disturbance during a light sleep cycle if it is anything like our daycare with a half dozen toddlers all napping in the same room.

[Katet]

At this age it isn't really about making up the ounces of a feed during the day...you either feed or don't at that wake up - whether you whittle it away ounce by ounce of stop cold turkey your lo will be upset by it and if you are blessed with spirited lo it will be a lot of protest to change. So the choice is deal with it head on or continue the feed really as it is for sure a habit thing.

Yes realistically (from a BTDT) whether you stop cold turkey or you go down to the drop to 4oz, then 3oz  2oz & 1oz you are going to get protests at some stage in the process because you change the habit  -  once they get past about 9mo it really is the food they eat over 2-3 days rather than in a 24hour period & honestly the sleeping habits are more about habit &  the timing of the food (digestive system waking the body up) than about the amount of food being consumed.