14 month old- please help-Im going crazy

[avrillo]

My 14 mth old is on one nap, has been for about a month after a month of fighting naps, capping am nap and he would NOT nap in pm (cried all the time until I picked him up), etc. So one nap sounds great in theory but not in practice. He's not a very 'routine' baby no matter how much I try to get him to stick to one. He naps for different times every day regardless of if the put down time is exactly as the previous week or month and wakes at different times. He seems to be a LSN baby but is quite whingy when he hasn't had enough sleep. He struggles with early waking too which makes nap times hard. I don't know how long he should be up from  wake up till his nap. Overall, he tends to wake between 5 and 6.30 (most often 5.30 ) so I try nap at 11 (if he wakes later I push the nap later). He naps for 40mins to 2 hrs but 99% of the time its 1 hr 15mins so then I have to put him to bed at 6.15pm. Im scared to put him to bed earlier as he's never ever slept 12 hrs at night and I cannot really cope with an earlier than 5am wake up as Im working. We seem to be in a vicious cycle where bedtimes are getting earlier because naps are not a decent length. Please please help-any advice would be great.   

[jessmum46]

It sounds like you're in a bit of an overtired cycle at the moment - (((hugs))), the 2-1 transition can get pretty messy

A few options for you to think about - you could try a catch-up day where you just put him down when he looks tired, hope for two naps and a better WU tomorrow.  It's a risky strategy for LOs who are refusing the pm nap but may work if he is really tired.  Option two would be put him down for a very tiny morning CN.  Then a short A time, followed by another nap.  This has worked pretty well for both of my LOs during this transition.  As an example something that has worked here is roughly WU 5.30, nap 9.30-9.45 (15 mins) then nap 11.45- whenever.  Then on a reasonable WU day you push through to one nap.  Option three is set nap and (early) bedtime and ride it out for a while.  Say 11.30 and 6/6.30pm.  Option four is to push your one nap later by 15 mins every few days until it is closer to 12 (for a 7-7) day and make good use of EBT until nap lengthens.

Just as an idea we have now set our nap at 11.45 (got to that in 15 min increments starting at 10.30ish) as DS will be having a set nap then at nursery (starting this week).  We pushed through to 6pm bedtime even on a short nap, although did offer a pm CN on some days (almost always refused).  WU did eventually start to improve a bit but is still a bit prone to EWs.  If OT is clearly starting to build and/or an EW I've done the 15 min CN as above just to get him through to set naptime as that's the time I want his body to be used to resting, or if that's refused then pull nap earlier but only by 15 mins or so.  Our BT right now is around 6/6.15pm, but hoping to get that a bit later as he gets more used to it.  Morning WU has varied from around 5.30 to 6.45, but I'm leaving him in bed until around 6.30/45 anyway as he's just dozing/chewing his lovey/chattering.  So not entirely sure when his WU is

Is that any help?