26 months night terror

[wilow]

I do agree with you that we should not take him from bed or change his nappy if he is not wet but I cannot explain this to my partner he does not agree with that and we always had disagreement about it. I think that in the beginning when he cries he is not awake but after I think he is awake because when I ask him question he is answering.When I try only reassure him with my voice he cries louder.
BT become nightmare I actually hate it he always cries and screams even he knows the routine we do this for last 20months. We are going on holidays soon and we will stay in small apartment when you can hear everything and Iam afraid he is going to wake up my DS2 with that screaming in the evening and night time. My DS2 is only 16 weeks and he sleeps better than DS1. I think we will have tough time...wish me luck

[Buttonbobs]

I think the not changing the nappy thing could be a start. Nappies nowadays are made to be worn for longer periods at night without causing any problems for toddlers' skin. Even when my DD was a tiny baby I would only change her at night if she had got a dirty nappy, not just for

I'm not so sure if you're seeing night terrors, if he responds to you speaking. I'll see if I can get some more experienced eyes for you to double check. Having a new sibling is a big change for a small person (& for you and DH too!). Have you been able to spend a bit of quality time each day doing something with DS1 that he absolutely loves?

Have you read about gradual withdrawal? This could be. Useful technique for you to use to deal with the NWs.
Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

I think a couple of things could really help you in addition to not changing nappies:

1. A daytime routine and more regular sleep times; and
2. Responding to him at night without getting him out of the cot.

If you are worried about the noise he makes, and the possibility of him waking DS2, could you use some white noise in DS2's room to help him remain undisturbed. You can alsonuse earplugs to help take the upset out of the listening to crying to ease the process for you.

[wilow]

Im not sure as well. It will be great if somebody can look at this and give me some idea about this issue. We have some time together every day it is not much but we play only two of us. I have to probably try earplugs

[becj86]

Hi, just hoping to differentiate for you as to whether if this is night terrors or wakings.

- Does the crying start off quiet/intermittent and escalate or is it full on straight away?
- Does he calm when you're there?
- Does he recognise you?
- Does he attack/try to escape you if you try to comfort him with a hand/cuddle?

The thing with a night terror is that it tends to happen in the early hours of the night and is like sleep walking (only louder) in that LO is asleep, unlikely to remember it in the morning and doesn't recognise you/isn't calmed by your presence. In fact, often it goes on longer if you get involved than if you don't (best to be sure you're not leaving him to CIO though).

Also wondering why you're doing a nappy change in the night? Its not necessary at this age unless they're leaking or LO's done a poo.

With him wanting dad to resettle - is he seeing much of him during the day? Maybe he's wanting to get some daddy cuddles? I know we had similar wakings when DS didn't see one or the other of us as much due to work or whatever and the 'missing' parent was always required before resettling.

Is this a new thing - new siblings can throw a spanner in the sleeping works for even the best sleepers.

[wilow]

I am confuse about everything now I am pretty sure that weeks ago he had night terror because he did not respond to me, or my partner, he got more upset when I try have physical contact, he was completely crazy, I thought he would hurt himself, everything was happening in early hours of the night.
At this stage I am not sure if he is just acting out and try to get attention of me and my partner. Sometimes he does not want to see me only daddy. My partner is working all day coming back in the evening maybe an hour before his bed time.  know he wants to play with him.
I do not do nappy change but my partner have this idea and I cannot change it. But also when he is awake he says that his nappy is dirty, I don't know if this is just habitual because daddy always does this or if really he feels wet.
Everything happens before 12 noon after that he is sleeping till morning.
Whatever is I do not know how to handle this. I know that he is in that horrible 2 age but have to be some way to not have battle ever night??

[becj86]

Can your partner do the BT routine stuff with him, so he gets some cuddles and maybe a couple of books and a chat with Daddy before he goes to sleep? That really helped us when DH was leaving before DS got up and only getting home at bath time.

What's his routine again? Just wondering if he's OT? Does he take a while to go to sleep?

weeks ago he had night terror because he did not respond to me, or my partner, he got more upset when I try have physical contact, he was completely crazy, I thought he would hurt himself, everything was happening in early hours of the night.

^ That sounds like a NT. Is that what's still happening? If so, this is where you can be reassured that he's asleep, stuck between two sleep cycles and all you can do it make sure he's safe (touching/talking to him can make it last longer). If not, its still in the part of the night that indicates he's overtired at bed time which would suggest his routine's not right for him.

[wilow]

He usually does but my DS1 wants more time and I dont blame him he is fussing and crying and calling for attention.
His day starts usually between 7 and 7.30am Lately he wakes up before 7 but only for last few days.
He has nap around 1.00 - 1.30 till 2.45 - 3pm
BT start around 7.30pm and he is in bed 8.15pm but he does not fell asleep till 9.30pm!! just crying and calling for us.
Then he is awake around 1.5h after he fell asleep sometimes 11pm. and sometimes he awakes in next hour again 12noon. He has nappy change then. After then he sleeps till morning.
Now when he is awake he is responding actually maybe not at first takes him few minutes but if I ask him question he answer. I dont know if during night walking you can have conversation?
I cannot do anything so he will go sleep faster he has to be really tired to fall asleep fast.

[Buttonbobs]

Well I think it sounds like there id an element of a routine issue then.. I mentioned about about the nap dropping links, did you have a chance to read any of them?

[becj86]

That long nap in the middle of the day will have him UT for BT - that's likely the reason he's taking so long to go to sleep and having long wakings most nights. The NT is probably happening because under all this short-term UT, he's actually OT from not having a decent night's sleep.

I think that nap needs at least to be shortened if not removed altogether. Have a read of the links Naomi posted for you and see what you think.

[wilow]

He naps now around 1.20min during the day I cut it down. The last couple of night were not too bad. He actually went to sleep without big crying, he was complying but not too bad, so he got dissent sleep at night. He was sleeping from 9pm till 7am and you can see different, he is much happier in the morning and during the day
He still wakes up during the early night but he does not cry so much and I can calm him down. Probably wont be any better and I am happy what I have.
Roll on holidays now we will see if that change anything for better or worse.

[becj86]

Glad he's sleeping better, makes such a difference for you and for him

You may find bring BT a little earlier will help too. What time is he napping?

[wilow]

He is napping from 1.15pm to 2.35pm around I put him down at 1pm.
I cannot really change BT because daddy comes back around 7pm so he wants spend time with him