Sleeping routine - completely off the tracks!

[Eva2014]

Hi there,

My 14 mo has always been an excellent sleep - in fact even now she doesnt wake up in the night usually however the issue is her napping and waking up earlier in the morning. She used to wake up at 7am and be asleep by 8pm which worked great for us as twice a week we're out and we don't get home until 7 - by the time we've bathed her she's in bed by 7:45pm. Another issue is the fact that it seems to be taking longer to get her to sleep. before she turned 1 she would fall asleep in 15 mins max.

Here is her average day now:

5:30/6am - WU
10:30 - 11am - nap
2:30 - 4pm - nap
8:30pm - asleep for the night


1) is she OT tired which is why she's waking up earlier in the morning?
2) are her naps right for her age? Recently theres been days where she doesnt want that pm nap at all
3) i feel like her day is too long? if she wakes up at 6 should she be going to sleep at 6pm??

We did get into a bad position where we would have her in our bed if she woke up at night due to teething or an illness but we've been really good for the past month and only bring her into our bed in the morning.

Really need some help as i'm working full time and have her with me for 3 days in the week so its important we get her on track again.

thanks xx

[trimbler]

Hi Eva,

I agree her night does look quite short, I've tended to use the rule of thumb that it should be at least 10.5-11h, although I know some LOs have different natural patterns. How is she during the day? Does she seem well rested in the morning or more tired than usual? When she wakes earlier than you'd like, does she then come into bed with you and go back to sleep/doze, or is she wanting to play? Do you still get up at 7am even when she wakes earlier? Just asking because that A time before the first nap wouldn't be 'worth' the same if the first hour or so was dozing in your bed, as opposed to being fully up and about.

Looking at your routine, I'd suggest trying to cap that morning nap further, perhaps try waking her after 20mins. Then she'll be more tired for her afternoon nap and hopefully have an easier time settling for it. You may also find that you need to reduce the A time before it as she'll be more tired. That could in turn help to shorten the day. I wouldn't worry about getting exactly a 12h day and night, especially since you're in the 2-1 nap transition, it's quite common for nights to get shorter until that morning nap disappears completely.

Btw this is what happened with my DS, we capped his morning nap at 20mins and towards the end of the transition he'd refuse it on and off, by the time he was doing 5h before BT we knew he could theoretically manage the 1 nap routine so we just stopped offering the morning nap - actually many LOs get to one nap on 4.5h A, especially if it's a long one, and since this is what your DD is already doing, she may not be far off. But I'd say hold onto two naps as long as it's working, since the transition can be a little less bumpy that way, and it sounds like the longer days work better for your family. Oh and some LOs even end up doing 5-10min CNs towards the end of the transition, keeps the day shorter.

[Eva2014]

Thanks, Trimbler!

when she wakes in the morning and its a weekday she doesnt sleep - this is probably because I'm getting ready for work and if she's in our room she won't sleep because I'm moving around and not in bed with her. Usually on weekends she will go back to sleep as soon as she gets into bed with us. So today she woke up at 5.55am, i gave her milk and then she hasn't slept since. she does look sleepy but i don't want her to sleep now because she probably would sleep until 8am if we left her.

do you think we should give her milk and take her back to her own room to see if she will sleep?perhaps if she does sleep, should we be waking her at 7am?

the only issue now with capping her nap to 20 mins today is that she will probably be really grumpy. For example yesterday she woke up at 6am and then slept from 10:30 for hour and 15 mins and when i woke her she was still tired! If i woke her up after 20 mins i think she would be so tired.

I think you're right then by capping the morning nap to 20mins she will be more tired for the pm nap. perhaps if we do this we will need to move her pm nap forward to 2pm? I guess its trial and error!

x

[trimbler]

Well it depends what time you'd like her to wake in the morning. Mine have got used to being left to chatter to themselves or doze off again when they wake early, so we just keep the 'get up' time consistent, which I imagine would work best for you since you have a routine with work etc. What do you think she would do if you did leave her in her cot? It's up to you really if you want to get her up when she wakes or try to encourage a later up time, but it does sound to me like she'd benefit from some extra down time first thing, even if she doesn't get back to sleep. With the short am, long pm nap routine, it helps to keep that first A time short, we've done 3h from up,time, which gets,longer if they EW but they haven't got so tired as they've been resting. Some parents prefer to stick to A times and get them up when they wake and put them down at the same A time; I notice though that as LOs get older they tend to do better with set times, so you could try that. What would you rather go with - set times or fixed A times? I personally prefer the set times but let me know what you'd like to try, if it's impossible to get her resting/chatting in her cot before you get her up then you might need to do the set A,times instead.

It's not so nice capping the first nap short when they've EW'd but if you can do it early, say 10am if you're aiming for 7am up time, then she'll be less tired than if it were 10.30. Yes she may be grumpy but at least she won't have caught up with the lost,night sleep - you,want her to tack that onto the end of her next night to bring WU later. I always regret letting them sleep a little longer on that first nap after a EW as it tends to reinforce the EW. Painful for a day or a few, but better in the long run Yes you'll want to bring the pm nap forward.

Just an example of my DS at the end of the 2-1:

6.30 Up (but would,sometimes EW and stay in cot)
9.30-9.50 Nap 1
1-3pm Nap 2
8pm BT - so yes, a short night but I found he was ok,as,long as it was 10.5h and not less. It got longer on one nap