Please I really need your help for avoid crying before sleeping

[LittleMiwi]

Hi all. Me again.
My toddler, 18 months, in the last 3 days has big problems to fall asleep.
Maybe there is a tooth that is coming out. Maybe the hot. Nothing changed in these last days. No new achievement.
Usually she fall asleep in her bed alone after our routine. There has been 3 days that I put her in the bed, I'm absolutely sure she's tired, for a moment she put her head down near her rabbit and when she realizes that I'm about to leave the room she starts crying, desperately. I've tried to WI/WO but seems not to work. The only thing that she wants is that I stay with her, in the room until she falls asleep.
And, on top of all that, she wakes up early, at 5.30, 6.00 am and wants to come in our bed or that I stay with her again (and sometimes it's not enough).
Obviously during the day she is tired and nervous and in the last week she skipped her nap twice (same thing, she is tired but don't want to stay in bed).
My impression is also that she doesn't want to stop playing in someway..
That could be a kind of phase for 18 months old toddler??
How can I deal with it? Please I any advices?
Thanks

[LittleMiwi]

EDIT: I've just read about the 18 month sleep regression 
I really think that could be the case!!
So, since I've seen that here in the forum there is a topic with about 100 pages  to read, while I read it, can you summarize hoe should I behave?? 

[Katet]

Usually she fall asleep in her bed alone after our routine. There has been 3 days that I put her in the bed, I'm absolutely sure she's tired, for a moment she put her head down near her rabbit and when she realizes that I'm about to leave the room she starts crying, desperately.

I think with you saying above you think it could be the 18month sleep regression is probably right. I tended to see those sort of changes in my child as 'developmental' & rather than 'why isn't the routine working' more 'my child is developmentally changing their needs.

I think the fact she wants you to stay says Separation Anxiety is in play (normal) & she developmentally changing her sense of self. So for me looking at the whole big picture of the day would be important, is she at home with you or at daycare, has she gradually got more independent only to be less now says that she is developing a good attachment (which is not a bad thing) So for me I'd be looking at how you can spend more time with her in the way she needs it during the day, when I say needs it, I found with both my children the quality time they craved the most was sometimes the activities I didn't enjoy as much & that 'rules' like one bedtime story were sometimes counter productive because 4 stories at bedtime meant a child who went to bed happy where as one story did not.

If it is Separation Anxiety games like peek a boo & hiding the rabbit & showing her it is still there hidden under a blanket help her understand just because you can't see it it is there & that can slowly help translate to her understanding that while she can't see you you are around & do come back.

If it was me the first thing I'd be doing would be making sure that you know she is having her "Mummy & Daddy cup" filled as much as possible in the day, Making sure she is getting that attachment need that she wants. I've always felt I get a better result long term with looking at what my child needs rather than how to get what I'd like happening, so for me more trying to work with the fact there is a change in independent sleep rather than how to get it back to what it was. So looking at things like has she just grown taller is she eating more, is there a growth spurt, so she may need more sleep but because she is overtired she is finding it harder to sleep, so does the nap need to be earlier, is she in daycare & the carer has changed or a new child is there, has Daddy been busier etc, all those things for my children have played into changes in sleep... even now at almost 12yo I still get asked by my DS1 to stroke his hair some nights because he's excited/nervous about the next day or he's had a super busy day & overtired & I have no problem with that because I know as an adult with insomnia sometimes you just need something like that.

[LittleMiwi]

Thank you Katet.
That is the situation. My husband and I work together and our office is under the apartment of my mother-in-law who is with Marta from 8.30 to 18.00. we have lunch together and during the day she comes to visit us and also I go upstairs to stay some moments with her. It's her grandma to put her in her bed always without problems.
If I think about it in those days we have spent less time together tough cause we have lot of work.
I have already experimented Separation Anxiety at 11 months when she had problems to fall asleep and se waked up early. With lots of patients and lots of peekaboo the thing passed so I thought it was gone.
In the next days I surely will stay more time with her but I don't know how manage the sleep time both nap and bed time.
Today for example I put her in the bed and wanted to stay with her some minutes but she refused to put down her head: I try to pretend to sleep, sing, caress her, speak but nothing. She pointed out the floors as she wants to exit from the bed.
Then I decided to try with a little WIWO: goodness me! She started crying, screaming, she was also tired and can't stand up well, she hit the bed with her head. SO I tried to take her in my arms. Impossible. She struggled, weeped with such a strength I couldn't take her.  She was furious, quite hysterical.
I really was about to cry. After I don't know how much, when she was on the floor since she wouldn't neither to stay in my arms nor in bed she was about to fall asleep on the floor 
Then I decided to go home and in the car she fell asleep.
Now, I would like not to repeat this experience any more. I really would like her to have her nap cause without it at night she is impossible.
But what if anything seems to work??