UT/OT cycle

[lauradj]

My DS is 12 weeks on Wednesday and while previously he did two short naps and a long 2.5 stretch mid-day, all I get now is 35-45min naps.  It's a brutal cycle for him.  I've tried Shhh-Pat and Shh-Rub but he can't stand the Shhhh part.  I can get him to go back to sleep sometimes if I pick him up, put him on my shoulder (and he usually burps then) and then slowly rock back and forth, metronome style. 
It was previously suggested that I go in as soon as I hear him wake and pop a pacifier in his mouth.  This worked for about a week but he's unswaddled because it's just too darn hot, so he flicks the pacifier out with his hands.  Either that or he wakes when it falls out.  I have to be careful with top ups because he has reflux and too much food makes him chuck.
I have a 22 month old as well, so I have to admit I simply cannot give the same amount of time to resettling as I did with my first.  His day looks something like this:

WU: 7:30am
E: 7:45/8am
A:
S:8:45/9am (usually starts to fuss at the 45 min mark, thus kicking off the cycle)
E: 10am
A:
S:10:45/11 (this is because I have to take DS1 out of the house, and DS2 passes out in the baby carrier)
WU: 12pm
E:1pm
A:
S: 1:30pm (starts fussing around 2-2:15)
E:4ish
A:
S: May or may not occur, usually in a swing or carrier
E: 6pm
BBB: starts at 6:15


If DS1 is at day care (MWF), it looks more like a typical EASY should.  Does anyone have any suggestions?

[LovelyLilyandJack]

I agree,  you may well be in an UT /OT loop, where he's UT for that first nap, doesn't get enough sleep to be fully restorative, and ends up OT by the end of the day. He's also coming up to the age when many LOs have a bit of an A time leap and get ready to move towards a 4 hour EASY.  Not saying he's necessarily ready for it yet, but he may be heading in that direction. Some further info here  - Time to Transition - 3hr, 3.5hr or 4hr EASY.

To fix it, you need to gently increase his first A time, leaving all others the same for a while until you can determine whether an increased A time is helping. Altnough his first A does look good already.... You could try a consistent  A time of 1hr 30 for that first nap and see if that helps - maybe even increase it to 1hr 40 if 3 days at 1hr 30 doesn't help.

Other thoughts if increasing A times doesn't help :

1 - This is a classic age for 45 minute naps, which are often developmental.  To help with that, you can creep in his room and start patting him gently as he gets to the 33 / 35 minute mark,  to help him through the transition.  If you're already there when he stirs, you might have more success.

2 - Is his reflux fully under control? Do you think he could be waking from discomfort? If so, no amount of A time tweaking and sshh patting will help.  Is he on meds?  If so, is he on the correct dose for his age? 

[lauradj]

Thanks for the suggestions!  He may be ready for an A time push, I always forget that possibility because DS1 had such high sleep needs that we were always at the very bottom of the A times. 
I think his reflux is under control.  He's on the highest amount of raniditine he's allowed for his weight, however we're seeing the Ped. next week so I'll check that.  I do recall the 45 minute nap period with DS1, I just thought it was over sooner  How quickly we forget.
A positive today was, he had a 2hr nap this morning!!  As a result, he stayed awake for the whole A time afterwards, which was great!  Of course, he then struggled to fall asleep for two hours, passing in and out of sleep but never fully waking to cry, just lots of fussing around.  Poor kid!  I wish I could Shh-Rub him, it worked so well with my first!

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Yay for the good nap today!  Did that come after an A time push?

And I know what you mean about having two different children in terms of sleep needs. My daughter was slightly low sleep needs but my son is very lsn and it took me ages to figure it out,  mostly cos I couldn't accept that his A times were so different to my daughters at that age!

[lauradj]

Ok, I definitely think he could handle an A time push.  I was able to time this morning so that we were walking out the door for day care at 1.5hrs and he wasn't fussing at all.  Normally he's losing his marbles (not necessarily a good thing, just saying as a reference).  Also, when I when I took him into his room for wind down at an hour and 20 mins, he started crying and fussing.  If I think on it, he's done this a few times in the last week.  I'm taking it as "No damn it, I am not ready for a nap!!"  So, starting tomorrow, I will start gentling pushing him towards a 3.5hr EASY.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Sounds good!  Let me know how you get on

[lauradj]

Well, the naps are slowly sorting themselves out.  It would appear that 1hr and 40mins in the golden number.  If I push it to 45, he falls apart, or falls asleep, as he did this afternoon.  Fortunately I caught him just as his eyes closed and was able to whisk him off into his bedroom, a cute little smile on his face.
An additional benefit of a longer A time seems to be that he's taking in more food, which is great!  Whereas he was previously taking in a max of 20oz a day, he's now up to 25oz!  I'm hoping he hits 30oz (what he should be consuming) in the next week or two.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

That's great - it sounds like he's doing really well!  Well done you!