hi all im new here.
i am absolutely at the end of my tether. i haven't left the house in 3 weeks. most days i'm in my lg bedroom all day trying to get her to sleep and ensuring she stays asleep which she will only now do in my arms.
background:
she always had very bad colic, for about 6 weeks. and she would only sleep on my chest, which when she was so little and tiny and thought i was doing the best thing as she was struggling to come to terms with the big bad world. we started to see a change in her after introducing a routine which includes bath-massage-bottle-bed. she always had problems with winding so i would mostly sit with her upright until i had a few good burps out of her. she dropped the night feed all by herself at 7 weeks and started sleeping through, with only a few wakings wanting the dummy (note she can sleep without it although she always falls asleep with it).
she then developed silent reflux, which meant that again, i had to keep her upright for at least 45 min after every feed, or she would end up bringing it all up and never settling to a good sleep laid down. she eventually managed to like her moses basket, and there she slept for another 7 weeks, happy and content. daytime naps however, have always been very short, and in my arms. 40 min at most some days, although the odd day she would be fine in her basket, and sometimes even settled herself to sleep.
when she outgrew the basket, it was time for the cot. there she was fine for the first 2 nights, then came down with an awful cold, where not being able to breathe woke her up several times. i sleep with her in her room on a single bed, as husband drives for a living and cannot afford to be tired. but when she fell ill we swapped and co-slept for the next 3 nights.
she has since then been impossible. multiple wakings in the night. hardly naps through the day. i am so tired i find myself slipping into depression, slowly but surely. she is no longer my little happy girl, and my marriage is getting tested to the limits. after 11 years together, we have never been as short with each other. i always miss her sleepy cues, she gets tired without warning, and lately she is only lasting an hr or so before she's overtired.
she is 18 weeks, 15lb and has 8oz 4 times a day,4-4 1/2 hrs between each feed. have tried pu/pd for the first week, decided to just do whatever i had to to get her to sleep the second week, and now i'm just a mess, and so is she.
is this just a temporary phase or should i just get the antidepressants now?
sry for erratic posting am trying to rush before her next nap.
thank you all for reading in advance, and look forward to getting to know you all.
xx
