Independent Sleeping

[newbie_momsie]

Hello,

DD is 5.5 months old. Currently our nap time and bed time routine is dim lights, turn on white noise, put her in sleeping sack, read 2-3 books and sing a few songs.

DD falls asleep in my arms during the routine. She would get drowsy and start to close her eyes in the middle of story time or a lullaby. Once she shuts her eyes I would put her down right away. She is able to nap and sleep through transitions by herself.

Is she still considered an independent sleeper if she falls asleep during wind down routine in my arms? Thx!

[creations]

I wouldn't consider her an independent sleeper if she has to be in your arms to fall to sleep. It may be something you are happy to continue (until it becomes a problem for you) or you might like to tackle it and makes changes. I imagine there will come a time when she is too heavy to do this all the time.

[newbie_momsie]

What do u recommend to help her become independent. I thought putting her down drowsy was what BW book says? Should i finish the 20 min routine and just put her in the crib completely wide awake? Would love any suggestions on how to get her to aleep completely on her own. She doesnt cry when we put her down awake so pu/pd wont work. She would just lie awake in bed and roll and play with her lovey in the crib.

We used ti swaddlw her awake and leave her in the crib and she falls asleep by herself. Ever since we unswaddled her and started a more structured wind down routine she gets drowsy in my arms during story time and just begins to fall asleep. At that point i put her in to the crib immediately.

thanks! 

[creations]

I thought putting her down drowsy was what BW book says?

Yes that's it
In your first post you said she was falling to sleep in your arms. You may be waiting too long before putting her down.

Ever since we unswaddled her and started a more structured wind down routine she gets drowsy in my arms during story time and just begins to fall asleep

Rather than being linked to the swaddle (which you've successfully dropped) it may have more to do with the change in wind down routine, you say it's more structured, it may be a little too long.  I'd just put her in her crib when she is relaxed and drowsy rather than asleep.  You can leave a hand on her or use shush/pat to help her settle in the crib if needed, and this is gradually reduced so she falls to sleep without touch, and then without your presence in the room.

She would just lie awake in bed and roll and play with her lovey in the crib.

There's nothing wrong with this, she doesn't need to fall to sleep the instant you put her down. It sounds like she is trying to self settle by playing with her lovey.  Mine rubs his lovey on his face, flaps and waves it around, it can look quite active but that's all normal for self settling. If she is doing this I'd just leave the room.  If she begins to cry after you leave you return to reassure her.  The idea of a lovey and self settling is she gets comfort from it in her own way, rather than falling to sleep the moment you put her in her crib.

[newbie_momsie]

Thank you!

This is very helpful. I won't wait too long during the wind down then. When she starts closing her eyes i think that is drowsy. By the time i transfer her into the crib she already fell asleep.

It is reassuring to hear that playing with her lovey is a way for her to self soothe. I get anxious when she lies there sometimes for a very long time awake playing with her lovey but i think those days are when she is OT.

Some times i feel like when i have my hand on her chest and she sees me that i might be more of a distraction and she doesnt want to skeep. She just looks and smiles at me lol!

Thanks again! I will work on putting her down drowsy but not asleep.

[newbie_momsie]

Hi creations,

So this morning i put her down drowsy but awake and she woke after 40 min nap. She was awake for 2 hrs and took an additional 6 mins to fall asleep by herself So i guess total awake time is 2 hrs 6mins. I would have kept her up longer but she had 2 NWs and looked pretty tired so i shorten her A time. I am working on 2 hr 15 min A time since she was on 2 hrs before. I tried stroking her chest and briefly shhh/pat but she is still awake in her crib. I dont know what to do to get her to fall back asleep.

HER EASY today so far...

330am woke up. Awake for 30mins. Had to stroke her back to fall back to sleep

400am woke up again. Think she fell asleep 430am to 6am?

615am she was still awake so we started her day/Eat

810am wind down
815am got drowsy so put in crib
822am she fell asleep by herself
903am woke up from nap
930am....which is right now as i am typing to u...she is awake in crib playing with lovey and making sounds and a bit of whimpering but not crying. But she also smiled at me when i went to her crib. I tried stroking chest....shhh/pat but i read it is distracting for 4+ month olds. she is still tired cuz she yawned.

I am really tired cuz she has these NW recently and my patience is running low due to lack of sleep. Was really hoping to take a nap while she is too but she is awake. what to do?

[creations]

Looks like her A times are too short.  I realise she has NW and you reduced A time because of that but it's a cycle which may not change until you change it. If you keep putting her down to early she will short nap and/or have long UT NWs.

I'd increase the A time to 2.5hrs now. Do 2hr 15 minimum for a day or 2 then increase to 2hr 30.

Shh/pat can be adapted, some just use a firm hand or a stroking hand, even a slightly rocking hand on LO if they need help. But if she is not fussing or crying for help then you can prob leave her to self settle with her lovey.  If she doesn't like Shh now is a good time to introduce a key phrase instead, something like "it's sleepy time, go to sleep" It's worth having a stock phrase to see you through over the coming months (even years!) as there will be times you can use this verbal reassurance from outside the room.

Today with the UT nap until 9.03 and not settling down quickly for the rest of her nap, I would have just got her up, done a good long A and then tried again for nap 2.
It's tempting to put baby down early when you are tired because you're looking for that little bit of rest for yourself, I'm afraid it can backfire with a short nap and he spending the rest of the time playing and cooing.

[newbie_momsie]

Thanks for the suggestions! For nap 2 i had her A time for 2.5  hrs so she napped for 1.5 hrs. I also reduced the amount of time for wind down so she wont fall asleep in my arms. Now I am putting her in her crib awake but tired/drowsy.

Ok, i will use a key phrase instead of shhh'ing. Thanks for suggesting this.

This week i will work on her A time for 2.5 hrs and try to break the UT/NW cycle. Crossing my fingers to see improvements. Just when I thought i have a handle on naps....her A time changes and NW starts happening....ugh! Things are always changing and we (baby and I) are continuously adjusting lol!

Thx for all your help, supports and suggestions!

[creations]

Yes there is a lot of change in that first year for sure.