Sleep training my one year old

[Jessleigh]

Hi there! So I have a DS who just turned one. I had a traumatic experience with sleep with my DD so I have yet to sleep train this one. But it's time to start as pulling him in bed is no longer good for us.

Our current routine. He uses a paci

WU- around 6:30/7
S - 9:30/10 depending on wu. I nurse him down and put him in his crib. Sometimes he's slighlty awake and I pat him to sleep. If he wakes mid nap I pick him up and rock him back to sleep.
A - 11 (although I think I need to stick to 45min naps now for the morning)
S - 2/2:30 depending on length of first. I nurse him to sleep and rock back to sleep if he wakes mid nap.
A - 3:30/4 (although a 4 wu is making bedtime too late so cutting first nap helps keep last nap from not lasting longer than 3:30)
BT - 7/7:30 we do bath, book and then I nurse to sleep and rock if he's not drowsy. I can usually put him down in light sleep and pat the rest of the way
He then usually wakes around 11 or sometimes goes as long as 4am. Whenever he wakes I pull him in bed and side nurse to sleep. He then basically uses me as a pacifier on and off until mornjng.

I have a general idea on how to pat to sleep and use my voice but I need a solid guideline to feel comfortable starting. Do I do naps and night at the same time?
And I don't so wiwo unless independent sleep is already established?

He's going thru separation anxiety pretty bad right now so I don't want to be stuck in his room waiting for him to fall asleep forever! Lol.

What's a good place to start? And how long should I expect this to take seeing as tho he's so old?
Thanks!

[Jessleigh]

Bump??

[Haribo2012]

Hi there sorry you've not had any replies as yet.

I'd probably start on naps first and go for some gradual withdrawal if you've not had any independent sleep and SA is high.

You could do lots of cuddles, nice soothing words and into bed, at this age I rubbed rather than pat.

Could you sit next to cot and just keep saying your sleep phrase? I used to say sleep time sweetheart, mummy's here so close your eyes and have a lovely rest. Then any fussing just reply with shush sleepy time, rinse and repeat. If DS gets upset you could just stroke hand for a few mins then start again.
Are you planning on nursing a little earlier so it's less of a prop?

I don't think there is any set time it can take really but the more consistent you are the quicker LO will get the idea.

[Jessleigh]

Ok. I'm so reluctant. But I keep feeling like this needs to happen sooner then later. Thanks for the tips. He's usally ok if I'm next to his bed. It's when I try to leave too soon that's a problem. We'll see how It goes.

[Haribo2012]

Keep us posted  x

[Jessleigh]

Ok so I started last week with night sleep. I've been putting him down awake and rubbing his back, saying sleep phrase. He's gotten much better but some nights he takes a while to settle and he still wakes up multiple times a night. I go in, pick him up, give a quick pat and tell him it's ok it just night night time. Put him down, but sometimes he's really restless and I end up w my hand on his back patting and then just resting it there and then removing. I think Hes developed another sleep association bc of it.

So I need to get to where I can just walk out after I put him down.

I will try with putting him down awake and then sitting next to bed but what do I do what he stands and cries? Put him back down? That's what I've been doing. But then I end up with my hand on his back to reassure him, which I need to stop doing. So do I just keep putting him back down if he stands? Or wait a few mins?

[Jessleigh]

The other problem is I haven't been consistent w naps. If he wakes 30/40 mins into nap I go in and rock him back to sleep. I was told that naps and night are so different that this shouldn't effect night, but now I'm thinking it is. Thoughts? I just hate having short naps! He sometimes does 1hr 30 on his own but lately he's not due to teeth. Longest has been 1hr on his own.

[Haribo2012]

It sounds like your doing a great job, Id sit next to the cot side on and just pat the mattress and keep saying your sleep phrase....once he's laid down I'd keep hand next to him but on the mattress so you can give a quick hand on back then remove and put back on mattress.

Multiple NW for us were OT or discomfort...you mention teeth, do u give any meds at BT or NW?

I'd personally say naps and night would be easy if he was settling without the rocking. Are you still doing naps at same times?x

[Jessleigh]

I give him teething tablets but I don't like giving things like Tylenol. He's been treated for reflux by a chiropractor and things got better but I think he needs another adjustment.

And I've started to cut his morning nap since he's begining the transition. So we do nap around 9:45-10:30. And then 2-3:30. The first nap I sometimes have to wake him but other times not. The second nap I usually (but not always) have to resettle at the 40min mark. So I'm guessing I need to stop resettling by rocking and just try doing what I do at night. Not looking forward to it as I hate messing naps up and creating that OT spiral. But it needs to be done.

Also tonight I made the next step and laid him down and then just stood next to his bed instead of patting. He wasn't quite ready for bed so he kept Standing up and trying to play. So I would pay him back down and say sleep phrase. But it started to seem pointless so I sat down in the chair which always makes him cry. I picked up and laid him down and repeated going all the way to the chair since I wasn't getting anywhere standing next to the crib. But about 10 cycles of this I thought maybe I was moving too fast so I ended back standing next to the crib and he finally settled down. It took him another 10mins to fall asleep but he laid there trying without my hand on him which was good. So I hope I didnt jinx it. But I think I'll just move a few more steps closer to the door every couple nights.

Do I do the exact same thing at night wakings?

[Haribo2012]

I would definately check out the reflux incase its disturbing him. I did used to give ibuprofen when I thought teeth were bothing him as seemed to settle him better in the night.

You could always leave the first nap as the long one if is the most reliable and then just do a CN in the afternoon. I did this as could never get A times right in the afternoon, so you could push nap out a bit gradually so your getting a 1.5/2 hour nap then a CN around say 3.30/4pm for 30/40 mins. Then you wouldn't have to think about rocking etc.

I think that sounds great your plan, he might well do better with less stimulation and he fell asleep quite quickly last night. Yes treat all NW the same, Obviously if gets really worked up you could do a quick cuddle. x

[Jessleigh]

Yeah I've been thinking about having the morning nap be the long one but it's tough bc we usually like to be out in the morning w play dates so getting past 11 means a totally different day. And unfortunately neither nap is reliable at the moment. Can't seem to get those A times right.

But at least he's settling faster after night wakings. Last night it was 11, 2 and 5:15. He resettled quickly after I picked him and and put him back down right away (he was standing) and then he woke at 6:15 but I hung out in his room for 20mins trying to get him to go back to sleep since he didn't fall asleep til 8 last night. He dozed on and off til 6:35. He's definitely got some OT going on from this as he could easily fall asleep in the car at 8:45am while taking sis to school. I keep him up so his am nap isn't too early.

Thanks for the help. This morning he fell asleep in the car at 9:35 on the way home (he does this tues, thurs, and Fridays) and I transfer him to his bed easily. But he woke at 10 so clearly OT. I resettled by holding for a bit since patting in crib wasn't calming him down. So I might be kicking myself by doing this but naps are kind of a different ball game as of late and is rather him get some more sleep then be a mess all day. Am I completely ruining my night training by doing this? It just felt a bit much for me to do naps and night all at once, esp since I have my 3yo at home most of the time.

[Jessleigh]

Normally I wouldn't have resettled a morning nap but he was so OT, crying w his eyes closed, so I couldn't bring myself to just let him be awake. Also w sis at school I really wanted to use the time to bring some sanity to my crazy house right now. But I suppose I should have just let him be awake and brought his pm nap up to 1:30ish. Sigh...

[Haribo2012]

I think sometimes you just have to do what you can to get by and make things work for your household when you have more than one LO.

If you like being out in the morning then you could try a 20/30 min CN around 9.30 and a long nap 1.30pm.

I did get to the stage where I just had to push that first nap and just alternate play dates as DS was getting OT from rubbish pm naps. Didn't last for long though as got to 11/11.30 nap by about 14 months and then I went with set naps.

[Jessleigh]

Good things to think about. I do think I'd have more success with am nap maybe 10-11:30 and then CN 3:30-4ish BT 7.
Trying it out this weekend. DD will be in preschool this fall so I'd have to leave at 11:45 to pick her up so in actuality I think this might be a good plan. I Hate this transition! Lol.

Anyway, 2 nights ago DS slept til 5:45!! Longest sleep yet! I did one PU PD when he woke since he was standing and he went to sleep with little more from me til like 6:20, was restless and I knew he needed more sleep but just wouldn't stay asleep.

Last night was wierd tho. He is getting better at settling at night and I'm now standing right next to the door using my voice after putting him down. He was almost asleep at 7:15 while nursing so I pulled him off to put him down which of course he didn't like. Then it took him til 7:45 to sleep. He did lay there without my help for a good while tho so less involvement from me which was good. But then he woke up THREE times before 11pm! Not normal. So something must be bugging him or it was just OT from taking so long to settle. Then he woke at 5:25 and was super restless again on and off sleeping for then next 30mins while I stood there. He gave up around 6:05 and just wouldn't stay laying down so I got him up and nursed him but of course he fell back asleep. Oops. So l let him sleep til 7.

So not sure what all those early pm WUs were about. But we're seeing the Dr Mon so I'll have him check his hernia to see if it's come back out causing reflux.

Thanks for the help! Going to move to WI/WO Monday.

[Haribo2012]

Your welcome hun, good plan to see docs at least then you've ruled out any discomfort.

Sound like those Early NW are prob bit OT but sometimes it's just one of those things 

Keep us posted sounds like some good plans in place   

Ps I hate transitions too x