Author Topic: 2.8 year old capping nap (Read 2402 times)

vanessa c · « **on:** June 19, 2015, 05:12:09 am »

Hello,

My 2.8 year olds sleep has been off for 3 weeks, after being sick. He is completely healthy now but still not sleeping well. Prior to getting sick I would lay him down for bed anywhere between 9-930 and he wouldn't get up till 8. he would take a 1.5-2.5 hour nap a day. I used to be able to lay him down and leave the room.

Since he has been sick (3 weeks ago, healthy now). He makes me sit in his chair until he falls asleep (10:15 at the earliest...I am beginning to think he moved his falling asleep time to this time on his own and I never really noticed because he would stay in his crib and put himself to sleep). I chat leave until he is asleep and he is waking 1-2 times a night 230 then 530 or just 530 and he cries until I sit in his chair. Sometimes at the 530 wake up it takes him another hour to fall asleep. I began in letting him take a 2 hour nap and having him awake by 3:30 no matter what time he fell asleep for nap. This has made no difference. I read that I needed to move his nap time 15 min shorter until I find the right amount. How often do I move it? How can I move up bed time? He is waking by 7-730 in the morning now and it still does not seem to make a difference. How do I get myself out of his chair...we are having a new baby in 8 weeks not sure if this has anything to do with it?

Thanks in advance for your help.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #1 on:** June 20, 2015, 06:16:39 am »

Hi there, at this age my DS was starting to have a few NND but if he did nap we capped it at 1.5 hours with a 13 hour day, NND max 11.5/12 hour day (we have an EW so 11 hours is impossible)

If you want an earlier BT I'd say try capping it at 1.5 hours if you've been giving 2 hours and moving BT 15 mins earlier and see how that works for a week. So WU 7/7.30 nap 1.5 and BT 8/8.30?

Do u think he may be OT with all the later BT and NW? With regards to sitting in the chair, I'd tell him before BT that you will have stories and cuddles but then you will be leaving the room as you have to get ready for bed, tell him that you are just outside his room and keep popping in if he shouts for you or cries. Does he have a lovely or bed toy? We used to make a big deal of tucking all bed friends in too and choosing who was sleeping where on the pillow, all this made him feel more chilled in bed.
We had a phase of sitting on the stairs just saying night night mummy's here on the step sleep well.

I'm sure if he was an independent sleeper it will come back soon hun, do you talk about new baby or has he not really cottoned on? xx

vanessa c · « **Reply #2 on:** June 20, 2015, 12:56:41 pm »

I was thinking a bed time of 9. 9 has actually been his bed time since he was born because any eaier and he'd wake up in 30 mins. So maybe bed time of 9, 1.5 nap and 7:30-8 wake up...is that too little sleep?

At nap he still sleeps independently and he's been an independent sleeper since since he was 6 months old. He has a lovey he takes to bed with him, we give kisses to a set of toys before going to bed but even before he gets into bed (as we are getting closer in the routine to bed time) he starts saying "mama sit in chair". And starts crying immediately if I don't, no matter what I tell him (one time I told him I was going to work because he understands that and typically accepts it, but he had a complete melt down and told me to stay home). My concern with leaving the room is that he will continue to cry even with me walking in and out and not settle. Usually once he gets going it's tough to get him to calm down.

I do think he is over tired. I think he is going to sleep so easily at nap because he is so tired. The last 3 days he woke between 5:30-6 (thanfully not the 2:00 hour). I sit in his chair because he cries until I do, and then it takes him anywhere from 30 mins- 1 hour to fall back to sleep then he will wake between 7-7:30.

We have been talking about the new baby. He understands enough and says things like "baby brother is in mamas belly"; "baby brother crying". He's beginning to include him when she says we are going somewhere and we ask who is going. But I always kind of felt like he didn't really get it. But now that we are starting to get the room ready more, I am wondering if he is understanding more.

Also another thing we were bunking of is moving him to his toddler bed (I have to have a c section so I will not be able to lift him to our him in his crib after the baby comes for a little while. And I was wondering if I should just do that now since his sleep is messed up and I have to be in here anyway....

Thanks for your help!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #3 on:** June 20, 2015, 17:41:14 pm »

A lot depends on the individual child if he's LSN then 12/12.5 hours may be fine, best to judge by his mood etc.

You could try sitting in the doorway and saying mummy sitting here tonight so he can still see party of you? I think sometimes we have to be a little tough like you wouldn't give in to giving him sweets or chocolate if he screamed blue murder I'm guessing? I'm not suggesting you leave him but they are smart and if he knows a meltdown will get you in the chair every time then he will do it.

I used to just sit in the doorway and keep saying nice calm sleep phrases and put on my brave coat...it never lasted very long once he got the idea that I was the one saying what was happening. Even now DS will say mummy you stay with me, and I give a cuddle and say hi sweetie you sleep now mummy is sorting things out downstairs for tomor and then I'll be in bed so I'll be back to check on you in a bit. He often asks for me to sit on the stairs and I always say ok I'll do that for a few mins of your quiet and sleep now. Only takes a few mins and a call out once to which I reply I'm still here quiet now.

He may just be realising that stuff will change but not understanding what. Personally I'd prob give the bed a go, like you say it's a bit messed up but it could be something that's fun and new for him. Plus you can read stories whilst he's in bed x

vanessa c · « **Reply #4 on:** June 21, 2015, 14:29:36 pm »

Ok, I think we are going to do the toddler bed tonight and the wake up time for nap up 15 mins today. Tonight looks as though it is going to be a 2 time wake up (230 now and awake). It's been 3 nights since he has woken up 2 times

.

So I will see how the transition goes to toddler bed, nap will be an hour and 45 mins then I will go from there with either sitting in his door or walking in and out.

Thanks for your help...will check in in a day or two.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #5 on:** June 21, 2015, 15:22:35 pm »

Ok fingers crossed. Fwiw we had bad sleep between 2.5yrs and 3yrs lots of weird NW when routine seemed good! It might just be developmental x

vanessa c · « **Reply #6 on:** June 23, 2015, 18:35:45 pm »

That's good to know...I was wondering if it was something developmental. We moved the toddler bed and he is doing the same as with the crib. So we are happy we did that. Nights are seeming to be a little better in that I don't have to sit for real long periods of time. Falling asleep is still at about 10pm. Yesterday he refused to nap and was asleep by 920 (15 mins after going down). Woke briefly at 130 and then did not wake until 730. We will keep pushing through. Thanks for your help!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #7 on:** June 24, 2015, 06:23:11 am »

Your welcome Hun, keep us posted. Probably a big language leap and we found DS understood things a lot more ie we go to bed to sleep lol x

vanessa c · « **Reply #8 on:** June 27, 2015, 11:28:02 am »

Thanks! Moving to the toddler bed was a good choice. It did not mess with his sleep anymore. I actually felt like it was getting a little better until tonight.

I have been giving him a week to adjust before making more changes...Sunday I am going to begin calling his nap at an hour and 45 mins then one week later at an hour and half.

Once I get there I am going to try an get myself out of the chair.

Do you think one week is too long to wait to make more changes? I am getting anxious because I am having the baby in 7 weeks.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #9 on:** June 27, 2015, 16:01:02 pm »

Well done on toddler bed.

I'd prob do every 3 days to shave 15 mins off nap and see how responds, you may find a small cut works fine for now.

Hopefully by 7 weeks we will have progress x

vanessa c · « **Reply #10 on:** July 02, 2015, 11:36:22 am »

When working on capping a nap, does it matter if I shave off time at the beginning or end? I feel like it is easier putting my son down a little later than waking him up earlier....he's not as cranky this way.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #11 on:** July 02, 2015, 12:36:03 pm »

No you can cap anyway you want. Go for what works best x

vanessa c · « **Reply #12 on:** July 13, 2015, 12:10:39 pm »

Ok, so I have capped my sons naps at 1.5 hours. Most of the time he sleeps 1 hr- 1 hr 15 mins. I can't get him to fall asleep until 10:15 regardless of the time I lay him down and I am still getting 1-2 night wakings. Very rarely do I get a full night sleep. There has been 1-2 times in this process where he has skipped a nap but then he is over tired (does fall asleep earlier at 9:30) but will still wake in the middle of the night. Is this all developmental? I still have not gotten myself out of sitting in his chair for him to fall asleep at bed time either. I was hoping to tackle that after I for him sleeping through the night again. I need help! I am so tired! And the second baby will be here in 5 weeks!!!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #13 on:** July 13, 2015, 17:37:56 pm »

So what time is WU in the morning and what time are you actually starting BT? It does sound a bit like developmental mixed in too x

vanessa c · « **Reply #14 on:** July 14, 2015, 05:44:34 am »

WU is between 730-8, nap is 2-3:30 and we are now starting a at routine at 9 which includes bath and books then in bed to go to sleep between 9:30-9:45. He is asleep between 10:15-10:30. He sometimes wakes 2 times, once between 1-2 and about 50% of the time I have to go in. The other 50% of the time he goes back to sleep. Then if he wakes a second time it will be between 4-5:30 and same with me having to go in. Otherwise if he wakes once it's either in the 1-2 times frame or 4-5:30 time frame. With the wake ups, sometimes he goes right back to sleep and other times it can take him an hour to fall back to sleep. Thanks for your help!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #15 on:** July 14, 2015, 17:42:21 pm »

I does look developmental...the only thing I'd prob try is cutting nap a bit more and making BT earlier. Is he a happy bunny during the day? Are NW upset or just chatty?
I'll see if I can get some more eyes on this for u x

jessmum46 · « **Reply #16 on:** July 14, 2015, 18:07:54 pm »

I think BT is too late/day is too long. What about having him in bed aiming for sleep between 8.30-9pm? Any longer than a 13h day I think is probably asking for trouble. I'd be tempted to try that first without any further nap cut as I would have thought he'd be OT with those NWs and short night. If he really just won't settle any earlier then I would do as Zoe suggested and cut the nap shorter until you can get him in bed asleep for a maximum 13h day. I'd also be tempted to bite the bullet now with getting out of the room, there's a risk those NWs are persisting because he's gotten used to you being there and can't settle properly without your presence. What do you think?

vanessa c · « **Reply #17 on:** July 14, 2015, 18:43:39 pm »

Thanks! I agree completely that his BT is too late but for like 3 weeks I tried moving it earlier but was ineffective. He would just toss and turn, play, etc until that 10:15 mark hit (ever since he was born he has never gone to sleep any earlier than 9). Even when he has had a NND he hasn't fallen asleep until 930-945ish. I'll try getting myself out...I guess maybe moving the chair closer and closer to the door?

jessmum46 · « **Reply #18 on:** July 14, 2015, 19:00:40 pm »

If he's an independent sleeper at nap time I'd personally go straight to WIWO, but you know your own LO best. Gradual withdrawal can also work, but tends to take longer - Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

How early did you try with EBT?

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 14, 2015, 19:29:15 pm »

I agree with trying to use wi/wo the GW might just encourage further interaction...but like Katherine says you know LO best.

I've found with my DS that often tossing turning and playing etc at BT is often OT and I've missed the nice calm sleepy time, when DS napped id aim to have asleep by 13 hours like suggested as any longer was just going into mania OT territory x

vanessa c · « **Reply #20 on:** July 15, 2015, 05:00:57 am »

Ok. I will try to adjust more. About 50% of the time (when I have to go in) the night wakings are upset. The other 50% of the time he just whines a little then puts himself back to sleep. They are never chatty and playful.

I will work on trying to keep him at a 13 hour day and beginning the WIWO. Thanks ladies for your help!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #21 on:** July 15, 2015, 05:22:13 am »

I would think NW are OT then, keep us posted Hun x

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Author Topic: 2.8 year old capping nap (Read 2402 times)