Author Topic: Advice needed on getting baby to nap during day and reading tired signs  (Read 1480 times)

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Offline Caroline83

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Hi there,

I'd really welcome any advice on getting my baby to nap during the day - and stay asleep when I do manage to get her to sleep! She's just over 7 weeks old and the last couple of weeks will not sleep during the day - she is then obviously really tired (probably now overtired most of the time) and cries a lot - by the end of the day it is then really hard to stop her crying at all.

We're very roughly following EASY - up to the end of last week I was putting her down for day time naps in the pram and pushing it until she fell asleep. Then again when she woke up, which she's brilliant at doing after about 20 mins on the dot! I have stopped doing this as it's becoming really difficult to keep up -sometimes it take forever, sometimes I think she's becoming immune to it as it doesn't work (esp later in the day), and often I feel like I have to stand over it as she wakes up loads (and not happy waking, crying usually). So the issue is not only getting her to sleep, it's staying asleep.

This weekend we started a different approach and tried to put her in her moses basket when we thought she was ready - we developed a little nap routine (which by the way, does this need to be similar to bedtime routine or not?), gave her 20 mins to settle herself (sometimes involved crying) and then went in at intervals to try and calm her. We had varying degrees of success - she did manage one nap after crying for only a few mins then falling asleep - the other times she cried for ages and nothing seemed to work to either soothe her or help her go to sleep.

I wonder if I'm missing her tired signs - but she does yawn and get fussy which I think means it's the right time - but she is never 'drowsy but awake' to put down for a nap - she is just fussy so she ends up being put down fussy, I can't figure out a way of getting her drowsy...? Today I thought I'd pinpointed the right time so prepared to put her down and she acted very hungry - which I didn't think she was but genuinely looked it - so I fed her - then she fell asleep so she obviously wasn't hungry and just tired - I then put her down and she stayed asleep - but probably wouldn't have if I hadn't fed her as she wouldn't have been sleepy!

Also, there's so much conflicting advice about how much they should be napping - what do you think? Does she need 3 times1.5 hours per day or a nap each cycle, which would make more than 3?!

Any advice anyone has on any of the above would be much appreciated - I wouldn't mind if she didn't nap much and was happy and content all day, but she clearly does need to sleep as she gets really upset as the day goes on otherwise - which at the moment is most days - so she's pretty miserable most of the time, and obviously as each day goes on that gets worse...

Thanks

Offline anna*

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Hi there, welcome the boards.

First off, please don't leave her crying, even if you are checking her at intervals. She is so so little, she really needs you there for comfort and reassurance. Have you read any of the Babywhisperer books?

So the first thing to check is that there's no reflux or discomfort at play here? Frequent wakings can mean discomfort. How does she do at night? How long do you usually have her awake for before you start winding down for sleep. It may be that by the time she's fussing and yawning, she's already tired so by the time you've done your wind-down she is then into over-tired territory. Sometimes we have to do a bit of clock watching as well watching cues.

At this age a typical day might be something like:
7am awake and feed
8.15 nap
10 awake and nurse
11.15 nap
1pm awake and nurse
2.15 nap
4pm awake and nurse
5.15 nap
== from here on you are likely to have several short naps and several cluster feeds say at 7 and 9pm, before she goes down for the night. So to answer your question at this age yes they are usually having 3 naps plus a catnap and then maybe napping interspersed with cluster feeds before settling for the night. I started putting mine down for the night at 7pm when they were I think about 10 weeks old, maybe a little later.

Your wind down for naps and for bedtime should be similar, although they probably won't be exactly the same because for example you might include a bath in your bedtime routine, and a milk feed, where you wouldn't include those in a nap routine.

I think if you get her down a little earlier she may be less fussy going in her crib. You can use shush-pat to settle her. At this age you will shush pat until she is calm, then gently lay her in her crib and shush pat her in her crib until she is asleep.





Offline newkidontheblock

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Just posting a link for you to go through. It pretty much covers all the basics and you can ask us if you need any more clarifications :)

Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!






Offline Caroline83

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Thanks for the link and for the other reply -much appreciated.

Anna - At night she sleeps for about 7 and a half hours and doesn't wake up - so don't think discomfort is it - in the day if you watch her in the waking periods I think it is not being able to go through the various sleep stages - light into deep etc - it's usually dead on 20mins but then it varies whether that's it, or whether she'll then find every stage difficult which is when I feel I have to stand over her!

Have had a success after your advice though so thank you - I tried doing it to time rather than cues and took her into the room for a nap after an hour of wake time - she did fuss a little both when started patting and when put her into moses basket but did calm and went to sleep, both times with patting, which hasn't worked that well in the past. The one thing that's difficult with this - I put her on her side yto pat, and then eased onto back once asleep, sometimes this then wakes her?

As she gets older - would you stop the shush pat until she's actually asleep as won't she become reliant on it as with anything else then?

A couple of other questions if you can be patient with me as I'm very new to all this!

If I can get this nap routine sorted - what about when we go somewhere in the day? and if we have some kind of appointment or similar how would that fit with EASY routine?

Last thing - with day/night time routine - yes, they are the main differences - bath/feed. As her night time feed is so close to bed time, usually this will send her very sleepy anyway and by the time she's been winded (usually held over shoulder patted so almost shush pat), she's actually asleep and then is often asleep already when laid down to sleep and doesn't wake. This works for us but would this mean the two day/night sleeping cues are too different?

Thanks again





Offline anna*

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Have had a success after your advice though so thank you - I tried doing it to time rather than cues and took her into the room for a nap after an hour of wake time - she did fuss a little both when started patting and when put her into moses basket but did calm and went to sleep, both times with patting, which hasn't worked that well in the past. The one thing that's difficult with this - I put her on her side yto pat, and then eased onto back once asleep, sometimes this then wakes her?
That's great. Some fussing before sleep is totally normal and expected. You can wedge her on her side with a firm rolled up towel, or ease her VERY slowly onto her back, or, when she's in the crib, pat gently on her hip or shoulder. You'll need to find out what works for you both.

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As she gets older - would you stop the shush pat until she's actually asleep as won't she become reliant on it as with anything else then?
That's right. Once you've done a week or so like this, then you work on reducing the patting until she is calm (not asleep), but leaving a hand on her. Then reduce the pressure with which you pat. then stepping away from the crib once she is calm. If you keep progressing along this route, soon you will be able to leave the room when she is calm in her crib, and she will fall asleep without you there. Patting to sleep is just for the very early stages when she is learning to fall asleep.

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If I can get this nap routine sorted - what about when we go somewhere in the day? and if we have some kind of appointment or similar how would that fit with EASY routine?
Some days you just have to be flexible. I would try to organise things so that I could be at home either the morning or afternoon, because neither of my babies ever did great naps in the pram. Sometimes it means you get a short nap - or no nap - but that can't be helped, life goes on, right? ;)

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Last thing - with day/night time routine - yes, they are the main differences - bath/feed. As her night time feed is so close to bed time, usually this will send her very sleepy anyway and by the time she's been winded (usually held over shoulder patted so almost shush pat), she's actually asleep and then is often asleep already when laid down to sleep and doesn't wake. This works for us but would this mean the two day/night sleeping cues are too different?
It is fine for now. Later on you will want to make sure she is awake when you put her down at bedtime.