Author Topic: Stuck in EW rut  (Read 4690 times)

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Offline jessmum46

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Stuck in EW rut
« on: June 24, 2015, 05:26:41 am »
Just starting a new thread for some more eyes, hope that's ok.

B is nearly 13m, had a rough couple of weeks with teeth/illness and starting nursery but now well and not bothered by teeth as far as I can tell.  We have unfortunately got stuck with early wake ups, perhaps not true EWs but too early for me! 

We had previously been aiming for set nap around 11.30/45 as this fits with the usual nursery day, it wasn't working brilliantly but we were getting by with the odd CN in the morning to get to set time if he woke too early. Now it's not working as he is OT by set nap time and if nursery put him down sooner (which tbh they have done most days as they felt he was ready to sleep) they won't wake him so he gets two short naps.  I can still get a CN and 'set' time to work ok-ish but seems a tad pointless in a way given nursery aren't pushing him to that time.

WU anywhere from 5-5.45, but typically 5.30ish
Up at 6 - he will happily play for 15-20 mins then start shouting, I will go in but try to just lie on floor/minimal interaction then lights on at 6.  In an ideal world I'd love a 6.30 start but will accept 6.

Nursery days - two short naps of 15-50 mins, one mid-am and one mid-pm (Mon, Thu, Fri)
Home - short CN (15 mins max) in the morning at ~9.30 if he will then nap at 11.30/45 with varying success - often waking after 50/55 mins and resettling after quite a fight, total anywhere from 1h30 to 2h50 but broken

BT 6-6.30ish
Some early NWs most nights

Looking at that I'm guessing lack of consistency is a big factor.....but I just don't see nursery pushing him to 11.30/45 from such an early WU, not to mention there is no way they would resettle him if he woke early. 

What to do?  Two naps doesn't seem to work well any more.  I think he needs one nap but 11.30/45 is too late right now.  Would it be reasonable to pull nap back to 11am and ask nursery to get him as close to that as they can?  Then push forward in 10/15 minute increments?  Pull BT in earlier too or will that just reinforce the early starts? 

Help appreciated xx




Offline Haribo2012

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2015, 06:30:47 am »
Hi lovely, I remember this age and nursery well....we had the same issues! I ended up putting my foot down and saying no nap before 11 and if he misses the lunch slot give him it when he wakes up. They kept letting DS nap at 9 then trying again at 11.30 after lunch which was just giving 2 short naps.

If they agree to earlier long nap could u do a 20 min CN about 4pm ish to maintain normal BT? I recall at this age we often got DS home from nursery gave him a quick bath and in bed by 5.30 as he was so shattered. xx
Zoe


Offline jessmum46

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2015, 06:46:05 am »
Thanks Zoe I really appreciate some btdt, we obviously went through it with DD but she was always a 6.30/7 waker so much easier to push through to one set nap time.  DS loves his 5am! 

Ok so do you think for consistency I should ditch the morning CNs at home and just shoot for 11am earliest nap?  I can always offer a late pm CN if it's a bust, he will tend to refuse but I can always give it a go.

Offline Haribo2012

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2015, 07:10:57 am »
My DS still loves 5.30...! Id ditch the morning CN if it was me and shoot for 11am at least you might get a long nap then if CN doesn't happen later EBT.

I just stuck with the mid morning nap as DS was rubbish was a morning CN I could never get a decent nap later on. xx
Zoe


Offline jessmum46

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2015, 07:31:18 am »
Thanks hun we'll give it a go and I'll update in a few days, wish me luck convincing nursery!!


Offline Haribo2012

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2015, 12:30:18 pm »
Ha ha good luck I know what they can be like xx
Zoe


Offline ginger428

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2015, 00:11:00 am »
Hi there sweet Katherine,
Agreed... skip CN.  I guess you're in the throws so we'll see how that went/goes.

I did the same and it seemed to have helped get DS adjusted to one nap, but who really knows.  We are finally around a 6 WU, with 7 BT, but sometimes earlier WU. =/ Going to try pushing BT to 7:30. Fwiw, the sleep consultant I used said to definitely push through the morning CN. She also said to push nap closer to 12:30, but on this one, I went with cues and DS goes down between 11:30-12:30 depending on the night/WU, but BT is always close to 7 (also by her advice).

But every night/morning is still different for us so all we can do is try and see, right? Hope that helps and I do realize it's really difficult to maintain consistency with nursery and all the other stuff sweet B went through. So considering, I think you're doing the best you can! HUGS!

Offline lily_layne

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2015, 02:40:55 am »
If they agree to earlier long nap could u do a 20 min CN about 4pm ish to maintain normal BT?
This sounds like a good plan to me. We had very similar issues when DD started daycare. It's just ugly when they start as they go through the 2-1 isn't it?  Like Zoe's little guy we also had days where it was home, supper, and bed by 5:30 because she was so tired. I honestly can't say if it was any one thing that I did that sorted it out. I really wasn't very consistent and things eventually sorted themselves out after about 6-8 weeks.
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2015, 07:07:29 am »
Thanks ginger and lily for dropping by with encouragement, I really appreciate it :)

The CN is tricky around 4, he tends to refuse it ::)  I can always get nursery to offer, if he's that exhausted he'll take it I guess.  That said yesterday we told nursery no nap before 11am, they ended up pushing him through until after lunch so 11.40!  He slept 1h15 which is short but for nursery, I'll take it.  BT was a bit too late just after 6pm but after one brief OT WU he slept through to 5.30am, then resettled for another 15 mins doze (I think).  First time in a while he's been willing to lie back down so maybe we might get somewhere....will update soon x

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2015, 07:46:19 am »
Ok so not much improvement here :(.  Nursery have been pushing him to 11.30/45 so for consistency's sake we've done the same, but that's meaning a good 6h or so first A, obviously too long.  One day he fell asleep in the pushchair at 9.45, I woke him after 15 mins and he still went down at 11.30 and slept for 1h50. 

Nap has been 1h15 to a broken 2h10.  I feel like some super EBT may be in order but am nervous about it...B has rarely done 12h nights ever.....what would you do?

Offline Haribo2012

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2015, 08:09:17 am »
Urgggg sounds hard. Is prob do a SEBT just to see what happens, my DS only ever did 12-13hr nights at the 2-1 transition but he's generally an 11 hour night guy. Can nursery go for 11.15am nap just for a few days!?

Can he be resettled at an EW? xx
Zoe


Offline jessmum46

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2015, 08:31:34 am »
Can't resettle the EW, I have tried!  If it's pre-5am then yes, usually.  But any time after that pretty much no chance.  He faffs and chats to himself for a while then just gets cross and wants up.  We are still keeping him in his room until 6, he will lie down sometimes for a few mins then just pops back up again.  I don't have the strength to try much longer than 6, on work days I need to start getting ready and I'm also conscious of him disturbing DD. 

Nursery can basically do just before 11 or 11.30/45.  They serve lunch at 11 so it's a question of manpower/supervision.  So annoying! 

OK maybe I will bite the bullet and try for 5.30pm tonight.  He's at nursery so it's likely to be a short nap.  Argh I feel like all he needs to do is just sleep a bit later one time and then day will be shorter and we can break this cycle.

Offline Haribo2012

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2015, 09:43:07 am »
I remember it so well....used to drive me mad with trying to get them to alter nap times! Will he have an early CN at say 10.30 at nursery then a big nap of they put him down at 12.30/1pm?

I'm sure I did my back in laying on DS floor for an hour at the age!!

Maybe if u do the SEBT and he wakes pre 5am u can have a chance of resettling then  ??? Xxx
Zoe


Offline jessmum46

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #13 on: June 29, 2015, 10:24:40 am »
I'll let you know how it goes x

Offline Haribo2012

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Re: Stuck in EW rut
« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2015, 13:05:03 pm »
Fingers crossed xx
Zoe