Author Topic: 2.5 year old playing at naptime (Read 2903 times)

bloosiern · « **on:** June 26, 2015, 16:42:33 pm »

Had a thread a few weeks ago about my 2.5yo YDD but can't find it now plus there's something new I'm specifically frustrated about. For the last 2 weeks or so she is playing in her toddler bed and/or talking to herself forever and not falling asleep at naptime for me...only me. My mom, MIL and husband lay her down and she falls quickly to sleep and takes really long naps, sometimes 2.5-3 hours and that's with them waking her. I've tried going in and telling her to lay back down or telling her to lay down via the monitor without going in. The only thing that works is me eventually lying on the floor next to her bed until she falls asleep which, when I do that, results in her falling asleep almost instantly. She's never done this before so I'm not sure why it's happening and, more importantly, why she's only doing it with me.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #1 on:** June 26, 2015, 18:20:24 pm »

Developmental? Half birthdays are notorious for that.....could also be UT though if she takes some big naps some days (2.5-3h strikes me as a lot for her age). How often do others put her down vs you? Just wondering if there's a pattern eg you have her every other day or every 3 days for example. How are nights? WU and BT?

bloosiern · « **Reply #2 on:** June 26, 2015, 18:57:07 pm »

I was thinking possibly developmental but would that cause her to just do that with me?

I work 2 days per week (11am-1130pm) and she is at my house with my mom once a week and at my MIL's house twice a month. When I work a weekend day, which is 3 times a month, she is at home with my husband.

Her WU tends to be 630, occasionally a bit earlier/later. Nap is usually 1230/1 for varying lengths of time. BT is 730/8, usually 4-5 hours after WU from nap. My mom is really good about keeping to consistent nap times but my husband and MIL have a tendency towards keeping her up until 130 and letting her sleep until 430/5 sometimes, a practice I don't encourage at all. However, that is usually only once a week.

I also thought of the possibility of UT but the fact that she falls asleep so quickly if I lay in her room makes me think otherwise.

She has always been ASN if that helps.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #3 on:** June 29, 2015, 17:59:30 pm »

If she sleeps easily with you there and still takes a long nap, my bet would be developmental/separation anxiety, often LOs become more clingy (especially with Mummy) when headed towards leaps in their development. How have the last few days been?

bloosiern · « **Reply #4 on:** June 30, 2015, 17:01:52 pm »

Hopefully just developmental then.

I worked on Saturday and Sunday so my husband was with her those days. She must have played a bit before falling asleep for her nap on Saturday because he sent me a picture of the video monitor screen which showed her asleep with pants and diaper off:)...first time she's done that. He made sure to check on her intermittently once he laid her down on Sunday and she did the same thing again but fell asleep once he put them back on and told her it was not time to play and that she needed to take a nap.

Yeaterday and today she fell asleep within 5-10 minutes with my lying next to her bed.

I almost wonder if she actually ends up a bit OT after being with my husband and MIL. Even though she takes a good nap, it usually starts too late and ends too late making BT too late but then she's still up at her usual time making her night short. Late BT's (after 7/730) have never agreed with her.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #5 on:** July 01, 2015, 17:57:57 pm »

Could well be if they keep her up later than you do.....

bloosiern · « **Reply #6 on:** July 01, 2015, 19:05:55 pm »

Thanks Katherine!

I think we've reached that stage with her where too long or too late of a nap affects her BT. I'm thinking to preserve night sleep and an age-appropriate BT we need to make sure she's awake by 3pm and not let her nap longer than 2 hours. She is not a happy person when she's woken up so we'll have to be sure a snack and/or show is ready to go once we do it:). Hopefully once we all get on the same page to do that consistently she will just start regulating on her own. That said, summer is a difficult time as there are many things that can throw off a schedule but we generally try not to let the schedule go awry unless we're on vacation.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #7 on:** July 03, 2015, 18:51:13 pm »

Even 2 hours is quite a bit at this age, most would be having a shorter nap (we were on no naps!) or a very long day with that sort of nap length. I agree consistency is key with toddlers though x

bloosiern · « **Reply #8 on:** July 07, 2015, 12:53:10 pm »

Well it seems as though we hit a downward spiral into an UT/OT loop.

My husband had E on Thurs and Fri (he was off work for our holiday). On Thurs, he let her nap until 430 and that night she didn't fall asleep until 10. I talked to him about not letting her sleep so late but he still let her nap 130-4 on Fri and he said she didn't fall asleep until after 10. She had 2 NW those nights, which is abnormal for her, than was up at her usual time 6/630. Sat was messed up because of a gathering at my in-laws. She only napped for 45min before we left, was acting tired the whole time we were there, then didn't get her to bed until 8. She was crying almost immediately after PD (unusual for her) then I rocked her to sleep by 830.

On Sun, I'm not sure when she woke but she napped 1-315. We PD at 715 because we thought she was OT but she didn't fall asleep until 915. She had 2 NW, one which was early.

I mentioned before that BT's later than 7/730 just don't work for her so I'm thinking she needs to be up no later than 2/230 to make that happen. The only problem is now she is OT and so unsettled at night.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 09, 2015, 06:41:57 am »

I think you are going to have to cut her nap a bit shorter, or make it earlier. I suspect on Sunday after a good nap she was UT when you put her down for bed but ended up OT by the time she settled. I agree I'd have her up by around 2.30ish for a 7.30pm bedtime if she is still having 2h (I would suggest this should be an absolute maximum nap length for her), you could allow nap to go a bit later if it is shorter (for some time 1.30/2-3 with a 7pm BT worked for us) and you may find that works better. I do think such late long naps are causing the problems though, you would be better to keep to a shorter nap even if overtired and go for early bedtime instead. You want her to catch up with night sleep, not nap time x

bloosiern · « **Reply #10 on:** July 10, 2015, 17:05:49 pm »

I agree, night sleep is the most important. I read somewhere once that every hour of sleep before midnight is twice as beneficial as any hour past midnight, which is probably why EBT usually works out so well.

Last night she was asleep by 8, made some noise a little after 5 and finally woke at 620. She was asleep for her nap by 1220 so I guess I'll wait and see what she does for her nap today. She doesn't usually sleep that long for me no matter how early/late I lay her down which is so frustrating:) I usually aim to have her asleep for her nap 6h after WU.

Based on her being ASN, it looks like she needs about 12.5-12.75 hours per day so maybe I can aim for:

WU: 630 (hopefully)
Nap: 1245/1 - 215/230 (1.5-1.75hrs)
BT: 7 (to be asleep by 730)

Hugs to you for the sleep issues you're having with your little guy. You're definitely a fountain of knowledge and so kind to the rest of us (even during your rough times!) so hopefully things come back full circle to you:)

bloosiern · « **Reply #11 on:** July 11, 2015, 18:25:11 pm »

So she only ended up napping for 1hr (unsettled the last 15min or so) which means she was up by 120. I tried for early BT at 630 as she seemed so shattered but she didn't fall asleep until 730. She had a HORRIBLE night! She was restless/whiny from 815 until 1100 when I rocked her (I felt so bad because she must've been so frustrated). She ended up waking just after 5 but wouldn't go back to sleep. What is going on? I want my good sleeper back!

jessmum46 · « **Reply #12 on:** July 13, 2015, 18:20:28 pm »

so kind of you to say so Lisa, I don't feel like a fount of knowledge but have been blessed with some great help and advice on this forum and hope I can do my bit to pay it forward

Does she have all of her 2y molars? Any colds/illness brewing? I've tended to find if things suddenly go totally haywire that there's usually something on top of OT and it sometimes just takes a while to show itself

bloosiern · « **Reply #13 on:** July 13, 2015, 19:34:45 pm »

She's had all her 2yr molars for several weeks now and other than the sleep issues she seems just fine.

I've really been racking my brain these last few days and, being totally honest, I have to admit that although I thought we kept a pretty good routine, it's actually been pretty off many times since the beginning of May. We went on vacation the first of May (for 8 days) followed by an illness (stomach flu) shortly after we got back then we've had some family functions/committments that caused her to have some NND's or late BT's.

I think I just need to buckle down and get back to a consistent routine. I really need to make sure DH stops letting her sleep so late so she can get to bed by 7...he doesn't get home until 445/500 so it can be tough at times. Once her WU's get back to 630/7 maybe we can shift it forward to 730.

These next few weeks we don't have any committments so hopefully I can get things sorted out:)

jessmum46 · « **Reply #14 on:** July 13, 2015, 20:44:15 pm »

I would agree I think, at this age consistency can be key. Hopefully she will settle down quickly once she knows the expectations x

bloosiern · « **Reply #15 on:** July 14, 2015, 20:33:38 pm »

How long should it take for her to settle back into a routine?

Also, I ordered her a Gro Clock the other day but it won't be delivered until the 28th because I live in the US. She has a Sleep Buddy light currently which is a dome that goes dark at BT and shines blue for WU. I think she'll respond better to the Gro Clock though because we used the Sleep Buddy for my ODD until a few months ago and the Gro Clock works much better for her now that she has one.

Hopefully I will be checking back in soon with good news:)

jessmum46 · « **Reply #16 on:** July 17, 2015, 12:14:24 pm »

I would have thought a week or so of consistency and you should start seeing some results or at least a pattern that tells you something else needs tweaking.

How are you getting on?

bloosiern · « **Reply #17 on:** July 20, 2015, 19:22:25 pm »

I had her asleep on Thursday by 715pm and she woke at 6 or just after. Normally, I would've laid her down by 12/1230 with that WU but she was with my MIL. She didn't PD until 130 and had to wake her at 420...ugh, why doesn't she listen to me. So of course then the UT/OT cycle begins again because I'm sure she fell asleep super late Friday night then she had 2 NW's and was awake by 545! Saturday, I let her nap 1230-3 and she fell asleep by 830 but was up by 545 again. She may have fallen back to sleep but was up for sure by 715 when my ODD woke us up. We went out on our friend's boat Sunday and weren't able to lie her down until 115. She slept 140-335. We PD at 735 due to the shorter nap and she didn't finally fall asleep until 11 then was up at 6!

I am getting so frustrated because no matter how hard I try to get her on a shorter nap/early BT schedule, I end up having to try and fix things after she is watched by others. What's a girl to do in this situation?

jessmum46 · « **Reply #18 on:** July 21, 2015, 10:59:24 am »

If it's seriously impacting your sleep and your LO, then it's worth considering whether a sit down chat with everyone who cares for her would be helpful. It's hard when it is relations and it is so easy to cause upset, you may decide it's not worth the hassle, but honestly I do feel that everyone should respect your wishes with regards her sleep and routine. Perhaps they just aren't aware how much impact not following the routine has? Maybe you could invite them over for a night so they can see how bad bedtime and the night can be?

bloosiern · « **Reply #19 on:** July 21, 2015, 13:29:04 pm »

Yes, it is hard because they are family and they watch her for free. My ODD was HSN, still naps some days at almost 5 years old, and would nap until 4 when she was that age and still go to bed at a decent hour.

My husband says he wants to get rid of the video monitor because without it I would have no idea she's awake that late. He puts her down and doesn't ever look at the monitor to see when she actually falls asleep. I agree that sometimes it can be a bad thing but in this case I'm glad I know she's still awake because then I know a routine change is needed. Poor thing just lies there awake not making a sound.

I work today and my mom is with her so hopefully she naps because last week she wouldn't nap for her. After today, I only work 1 day for the next week so we'll see how things go.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #20 on:** July 22, 2015, 10:49:12 am »

Keep us posted

.

Fwiw I do think video monitors can be as much of a curse as a blessing. In my house quiet=asleep as far as I'm concerned, if that's not the case I kind of feel that's not something I need to know!

bloosiern · « **Reply #21 on:** July 24, 2015, 13:32:23 pm »

So the Gro Clock arrived yesterday. She was so excited when we put it in her room last night and seems to really get the concept of it. She did have an EW this morning at 520 but I went in and told her the sun wasn't up and that she had to go back to sleep. I looked on the monitor a few minutes later and she was back to sleep. I was exhausted so fell back to sleep and woke up to her playing on my floor just after 7...her clock was set for 7. I'm not sure exactly when she WU but at least she fell back to sleep.

Yesterday she had trouble settling for her nap and didn't fall asleep until 145. I woke her at 330. She seemed exhausted so I PD at 730 and she was asleep by 815. I've finally decided that I'm not letting her nap longer than 1.75 hours or later than 3. Otherwise she just takes super long naps then takes forever to settle at night leading to NW's/EW's thus wanting another super long nap the next day and the UT/OT cycle continues. I've been so scared of waking her from her naps but now I realize that she may be exhausted for a few days as she adjusts so I just need to keep an eye on her WT after nap and make sure she's in bed early so she can make up her sleep at night.

Hopefully the going back to sleep this morning wasn't a one-off and it happens every day:)

jessmum46 · « **Reply #22 on:** July 24, 2015, 18:15:52 pm »

Brilliant news!

bloosiern · « **Reply #23 on:** July 27, 2015, 19:05:57 pm »

So E has really taken to her Gro Clock. She still seems to wake around 530 give or take 30min but more often than not is settling back to sleep for at least 45min longer. The problem I'm having now is with her naps. She used to go down at 12/1230 no problem and take a decent nap but now if she falls asleep at that time she sleeps for an hour then is tossing and turning for another 30min then is up for good. I think maybe she needs her nap pushed later but why would she fall asleep so easily if she wasn't ready that early? The shorter nap doesn't seem very restorative starting/ending so early as she is very tired by BT. I'm thinking she needs her longest WT in the morning as a longer WT after nap just isn't working out.

The only reason I started thinking this is because my DH PD at 130 the other day with a 545 WU and she took a great nap...he actually had to wake her at 415 (still can't get him to understand to wake her earlier but oh well). He said she was definitely asleep by 9 that night. She did wake just after 6 but went back to sleep until almost 8! Even though I don't agree with his timings for the day it does make me wonder if there may be a method to his madness:)

Thoughts?

jessmum46 · « **Reply #24 on:** July 28, 2015, 13:45:25 pm »

Later nap sounds good to me

maybe try 15-30 mins later and see if that gets her a more restful sleep x

bloosiern · « **Reply #25 on:** August 06, 2015, 18:26:20 pm »

I really don't know what to do anymore. E just doesn't want to nap well for me. I can't get her to nap unless I lie next to her bed, more recently I've had to rock her. She seems to still be sleeping well for everyone else. I feel like I'm so stressed out about her sleep and surely she is able to pick up on that. She's definitely not ready to give up her nap because she's already exhausted by the time she eats lunch and she's a bit touchy lately.

Everyone else says she so pleasant and napping well for them so what am I doing wrong and what can I do to fix it?

jessmum46 · « **Reply #26 on:** August 09, 2015, 16:53:01 pm »

Is she getting consistency in terms of routine yet? Are you putting her down at the same time as others do?

bloosiern · « **Reply #27 on:** August 13, 2015, 19:40:04 pm »

Trying to get a consistent routine still around here. I forgot about our kitchen remodel until the cabinets arrived about 2 weeks ago and that has meant a few late BT's.

I think I've finally figured out that I'm the issue. I've always been so afraid of OT that whenever her schedule gets wacky I overcompensate by pulling her nap earlier rather than pushing it later. Today I finally saw why she naps so well/long for my husband and MIL. Here's the last few days as I remember them:

Sun
WU: 730 (she had an EW but must have fell back asleep as she came in our room at this time)
Nap: 130(PD)-415 (I was at work, DH is unsure what time she fell asleep but definitely had to wake her)
BT: 815 (finally fell asleep around 0930)

Mon
WU: EW around 6 (DH must've accidentally set Gro Clock for nap because she didn't come in our room until 845 - I suspect she only slept 45min longer at some point)
Nap: 140-225 (UT? - if she in fact slept later in the morning)
BT: 7 (asleep 815)

Tues
WU: 640
Nap: 1245-230 (had to resettle after 1hr by rocking her)
BT: 7 (asleep 745)

Wed
WU: 645
Nap: 1245-245 (had to resettle after 1hr by rocking her)
BT: 7 (attempted but too much noise from kitchen remodel, finally PD at 815 and asleep by 850)
*very restless during the night and had EW just after 6 but back to sleep until 750

Thur
WU: 750
Nap: 1230 (attempted but wouldn't fall asleep)
*finally napped 145-315 (I woke her to preserve BT)

Looking at these last few days I'm thinking those shorter naps that required resettling were actually UT - she was tired enough when I went in that she fell back asleep but only because I rocked her. Especially after the 11hr night, she was in such a good mood all morning so I should've kept her up longer and capped it. Is a 7 hour morning WT reasonable after an 11-hour night for her age? Also, it seems as though she has the best nights when she is asleep before 8.

jessmum46 · « **Reply #28 on:** August 17, 2015, 18:32:50 pm »

As I think I probably said before my DD wasn't napping any more at this age! So yes I would go as late after WU as you like. But you may be best to just stick with a set(ish) time and cap it if that seems to suit her. I do think those loooong naps are not helping here, i mean naps as long as some of your DDs rob my 14 month olds' nights! Honesty I do think she needs a bit more consistency though, you need to get DH on board waking her otherwise your BT resistance/short nights so needing long naps to catch up will probably continue $:-\$ I'd be allowing probably no more than 1.5h at this age with a 13h day and if she doesn't settle well for bed on that, cut to an hour fairly pronto....

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Author Topic: 2.5 year old playing at naptime (Read 2903 times)