Won't sleep in stroller/car seat - stuck at home forever?

[Pil4r]

Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure where exactly this post belonged, so I hope it's ok I'm posting this here.

My LO is nearly 4 months old. She is a great sleeper at night, but I have been having some issues with naps. In addition, she won't nap in the stroller for long periods of time even if we're just walking around the neighborhood. It's a bit of an issue because I feel like I'm stuck at home for most of the time. I know she loves her sleep, but from the start of E to S only gives me about an hour and a half. Not long to go for a walk or anything because if I don't get home in time for S, she only sleeps 20 minutes and then is overtired later. As a result, I have been avoiding taking her out and don't know if I'm making the issue worse but not exposing her to noise, etc.

I'm not sure if this is about age, her temperament or what. Any personal experiences or suggestions would be great.

Thank you!!!
Pilar

[newkidontheblock]

Mine has never done stroller or car seat naps. She wouldn't even sleep in my arms when out til 5 months. Have you tried a sling? I got a ring sling around 4 months and it was great. In fact, I only did CNs in the sling after that. Easy peasy. I know it's hard being home all day but A times get longer soon, and then you can plan outings during her A times at least

[clazzat]

It is tough when they are like that - my 3rd wouldn't sleep for more than 20 minutes in the car seat or the buggy.  I found that he would sleep a little longer in the sling - I had a moby wrap and an ergo carrier - although by about 4 months that was harder.  What I did was to make sure that he had at least one good nap at home every day - for us we had a 2 hour lunchtime nap - that was protected so I wouldn't be out at that time, and then if I had to be out for the other naps I didn't get too hung up on it.  One thing that I trained all of mine to do was to transfer from the car seat/buggy to the cot, so if they fell asleep when I was on my way home I still got a good nap when we got there - it means that you can stay out until the last minute before their nap which extends the time you can be out a little.

Also, I know that it feels like a long time, but in a couple of months your lo will be down to 2 naps and you will find that you have more time to go out and do things.  We structured our day so that the 1st nap was a bit shorter and the second was longer which again meant that we had more time to get out in the morning.

[creations]

Mine would not nap in the stroller or sling or in arms, he sometimes napped in the car seat if I put him in at just the right time and then only a 40 min CN.  But things change.  A times get longer and sometimes they learn to nap better in the stroller.  Mine started to nap better in the car but could not be transferred so then I was stuck in the car until his nap finished...felt like I lived in the car!  And eventually that changed too, where I could get him to sleep in the car and successfully transfer him (he would wake but I'd tell him to go back to sleep, carry him a block to our house and up 3 flights to his bedroom, exhausting but at least he slept!).

For quite a while I did one good cot nap in the morning, followed by CNs, I just made it our regular routine so that's what we did every day and it meant I could go out.

I do think it's worth getting out, it's good for both of you.  When I was still dashing back to the house for all sleeps I would prepare myself during the nap and be standing right by DS's bed as he woke from his nap, get him straight into the sling and out the door. I'd get us to a park and there I would feed, change nappy and sit for a few mins before heading home. You do have to be super 'ready' to get out the door to do it and make the most of that A time.

[Pil4r]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I really felt better reading your stories. Seems like all my gfs kids are great when they are out and about, so it's nice to know others are experiencing the same. I'll keep trying different strategies and hopefully she gets better with time.

Thanks again!

[creations]

The thing about seeing other LOs sleeping great out and about is you have no idea how they are at home.  And if they are also a dream sleeper at night (now) you don't know how things will be in a year. Your gfs may all be struggling with sleep issues 6 or 12 months from now whilst you might have a fabulous routine.

I attended a free cookery class for mums and babies, only 2 of us attended, there was a member of staff to play with the babies in the other side of the room whilst we cooked. The other mum (same age baby) noticed her baby was getting tired, left the kitchen, walked across lay him down handed him a piece of fabric (not even his own lovey or blanket, just random fabric) and left him. In a minute he self settled and went to sleep. Meanwhile... I noticed mine was getting cranky and tired, I put the sling on, walked, rocked, jiggled, gave him his lovey, sang to him, used my most powerful forms of APOP and worked HARD to get him to sleep (whilst he fussed and cried). What I really needed to do was leave and get him home to his bed (where he would have self settled and gone straight to sleep) but with only 2 of us attending I felt bad leaving half way through so I gritted my teeth and continued the APOP.  The other mum felt sooooooo sorry for me.
After chatting it turned out she could lay her boy anywhere for a nap during the day.  But come night time he was impossible to get to bed and then awake every 2 hours. Every 2 hrs!!  Now I felt sorry for her.  Mine went to bed at 6.45, had a feed at 10.30pm (woke, nappy change, ate, straight back to sleep) and slept until about 5am/5.30am.
This is why people tell mums not to compare babies.  We often don't know the full story when we see someone who looks like they have it easy.

[newkidontheblock]

The other mum (same age baby) noticed her baby was getting tired, left the kitchen, walked across lay him down handed him a piece of fabric (not even his own lovey or blanket, just random fabric) and left him. In a minute he self settled and went to sleep.

How do they do this though?! Some time ago I passed a mum with her baby asleep on her lap with a handkerchief over her face. Apparently that's all she has to do to get her to sleep. I was stunned. Completely agree that we at least have our nights. I've had my evenings free from 7pm onwards for the first year, which is supposed to be the hardest, so win! But I still wish I knew how to get Eris to do these nap things

[creations]

How do they do this though?!

I have no idea!
But I tend to think of it this way - if they have those easy naps then nights must be rough. If they have easy naps and easy nights then maybe they are going to have picky eaters, or trantrumy run-away toddlers, or moody teens, or troublesome adults - I don't mean that easy sleep leads to problems, not at all, but that being a parent goes on for ever doesn't it? At some point there's going to be a tricky time, there's going to be things a parent struggles with.  A friend of mine IRL is an alcoholic, we are grown adults (in our 40s) but her parents are still 'dealing' with her, with her alcoholism, with her troubles, yk?  We're in this for the long haul and there are so many various aspects of growth and development that we will all experience difficult parts of our children's lives. I suppose it's just my way of thinking - we can't have 'everything', we can't 'fix' everything - we just do our best at the time.

[newkidontheblock]

very well put

[ele]

Yes, same for me, my DD would never fall asleep for long in the stroller.  I tried and tried, but it was silly, now I protect her day naps, but third nap is in the stroller and 20 minutes is just good for me to get her through to bedtime. So I would get from her second nap to the bedtime a long stretch of out time and a little third nap will be somewhere in motion. Now we are moving to two naps only and I am a little scared as our out time will shorten...