15 week old distressed at bedtime

[Linkyminx]

Hi,
DS2 is 15weeks, on 3h EASY since 7weeks. He naps happily in his cot, self settles, no input required from me, except to extend his 45minute nap in the middle of the day.
A typical day is
7am wake and feed
8.30-9.15 S
10 E
10.45-11.30 S
1 E
1.15-3.15 S (with help extending)
4 E
4.45-5.15 CN
5.15 E (cluster feed)
6.15 E (cluster feed)
6.45 bedtime
10.30 DF, NW at 2.30 and 5

However bedtime has always been a problem, and seems to be getting worse. I do a wind down each night (bath, massage, feed, song), and leave him to self settle. He starts squawking within a minute or two, building to full on crying within ten minutes. Then begins a miserable time of sh-pat, which can last up to an hour, during which he gets progressively overtired and very distressed. In the end I rock his cradle whilst patting, but I'm concerned this is a prop, which won't be sustainable when he moves into a big cot.
I've tried an earlier bedtime, presuming he's OT but it seems to make no difference. His routine is well established, and he is such a happy relaxed baby in every other way, I just dont know what I'm doing wrong, and feel I'm letting him down.
Am very grateful for any ideas.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

((Hugs))  You're not letting him down - you care about how he's doing and want to do the best for him - that's not letting him down!

It sounds to me like he could need his A times increasing a little.  The need to resettle naps after 45 minute is a clue, plus this is the age where lots of LOs start needing a bit more A time.  If he's been on the same A time for 8 weeks it's likely he needs a bit more now     That might explain the BT resistance - he might be a little UT after such good day sleep and no long A's.  This link will tell you more - Time to Transition - 3hr, 3.5hr or 4hr EASY. 

Also - does he self settle for his naps?  And after NFs?  Is it only at BT you need to rock him?  It could also be that the rocking is a prop for him, so you really need to wean that as you increase his A times.  If you've been doing sshh pat for an hour and then rocking, it may take a while to stop that, as he may now expect that you'll revert to rocking after an hour - which means he may hang on way longer than that for you to do it again.  However, if he's self settling the rest of the time and *is* a bit UT, then you may find the BT rocking is easier to stop after an A time increase if he's more ready for bed then.

[Linkyminx]

Thank you so much for responding. He does self settle for naps and after NF. I had thought it was time to start increasing his A time due to his age, but hadn't realised it might be responsible for his difficulties at BT. I know the rocking is a step in the wrong direction, but have accepted some APOP as he is horribly overtired by this point.
I will start extending the A times as suggested in the link you provided. Thank you again.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

No problem