Author Topic: Do I have a prop???  (Read 3669 times)

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Offline First mum

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Do I have a prop???
« on: July 14, 2015, 06:23:53 am »
Evening Ladies,  My 14mo lo has been falling asleep at the boob for her night time feed since starting daycare 2 months ago.  I only breastfeed morning and night and she has no other bottles during the day.  Up until about 3 weeks ok would still self settle for both her day naps and night time would go down sleepy but not asleep and settle in less than 15 minutes.

Since day-care she is super tired and I have no chance to pop her down awake.  Bedtime is 6pm and I start feeding about 5:40.  On the actual day care days and for the first couple after I generally have to jiggle for almost the whole feed to keep her going.  After nearly 20 mins of this I'm pretty tired and she is sound asleep.  We have the ocassional blip in the first hour but usually will sttn.

Rewind about 3 weeks ago when we got a nasty ear infection and typical winter cold.  We still have a terrible cough but everything else is greatly improved.  This coincided with ss for day naps going to pot and I would settle her (easily) with patting or rubbing her back or even sitting beside the cot.  Multiple nw with coughing and a couple of long awake stretches have led to an overtired lo who started cutting her 2 naps shorter and ew.  Thankfully we are getting on top of the ot'ness slowly.

Previously stopped ss for about 2 weeks when we cut 4 teeth in the space of 8 days but she was only 9 months old then.  Has been a really good self settler since about 5 months old.

Is her ability to ss going to come back or am I going to have to help her overcome this? I have no idea how to do this?

Any suggestions for the bt feed?  Obviously no problem at the moment but whats in store for me in the next 3-6 months if I don't get on top of this now.

Thanks in advance.

Offline anna*

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2015, 08:22:29 am »
Hi there. I'm going to move this over to Toddler Sleep since your baby is over a year old.

If it's not a problem right now, I wouldn't worry about it. You could do your feed a bit earlier, then wake her up/rouse her fully before putting her in bed?





Offline cath~

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2015, 10:02:24 am »
I agree with Anna.  If she's SS before then I'm sure it will return.  However, lif it doesn't immediately (ie once she's less tired at BT) then you can gently encourage it again by eg helping her to settle in her cot with PD, shhing/your voice, or a hand on her (whatever works best) then gradually reduce the amount of help you give her.  IME though with my two I think she'll get the hang of it again quite quickly and you might not have to do anything.  Does she still SS for naps?  If so, then that's a big help.
I'd wait and see and if it does become an issue, you can always post here again for hep.  Also, in the meantime, you could try rousing her slightly like Anna said before lying her down. 

DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2015, 20:44:37 pm »
Thanks Ladies, unfortunately the ss has also gone with a recent illness and we are coming up 3 weeks.  The falling asleep at night has been about 2 months since starting daycare.

Last night she stopped feeding so popped her down awake and rubbed her back for a few minutes.  Small blip at 11pm but settled back well with a bit of shushing and through to 5:20.  Think I will try and keep awake or rouse again tonight!

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2015, 06:04:56 am »
Not possible tonight as daycare only managed 10 minutes sleep, so really struggled to jiggle her awake.  Grizzled briefly when I unlatched her and again when I put her down but don't think she really woke.  Was a pretty rubbish feed overall so will try again to rouse her either tomorrow if better sleep at daycare or on Friday when she is home with me.

Offline cath~

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2015, 11:55:06 am »
don't worry too much.  As long as you're able to rouse her sometimes I'm sure she'll gradually get used to going to sleep more and more awake iyswim
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2015, 07:31:03 am »
Hi Cathn, my lo has been awake following her bedtime feed the last 2 nights.  She has upped her dinner solids the past couple of nights so is actually stopping and when I offer again she is saying no.  Last night was a bit yuck, I popped her down and she immediately is up on her knees and then standing saying mum mum mum.  I turn off the light say my bedtime phrase and sit beside the cot.  Bum stroking with the occasional shush if she gets upset.  Fast forward 30 minutes and hubby took over, less than 10 minutes later she was asleep.  Slept through till 6am with a blip at 3:30 couching and gagging  :-[

Tonight similar except she was really upset. Hubby took over but still no luck so I went back in and picked her up.  She was holding on so tight it made my heart squeeze.  Cuddles for about 10 mins and then I popped her back down.  She did a little grizzle but I shused her once and stroked her tummy about 3 times and asleep.

How long is too long to cuddle following feed before I put her down?  Any suggestions to try to make this settling easier for my lo?

Thanks

Offline cath~

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2015, 15:19:40 pm »
If the cuddle helps relax her then a gentle approach would be to cuddle her until she's relaxed and sleepy, then put her down. Then you can gradually reduce the amount of cuddling you give her.

It also might be worth looking at her routine in case there's a chance she's a bit UT at BT. Is that possible ? That might also increase the resistance.

Otherwise, if you stick with it consistently for a few days (ie settling her in her cot) then she will start to get the hang of it again.  Things have changed for her so she's protesting which is normal. But if you're consistent she'll get the hang of IS again.
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2015, 23:36:46 pm »
Thanks cathn,

UT has crossed my mind but with her falling asleep feeding it hasn't really been an issue.  Sometimes that was occurring when she was waking from her avo nap at 2:30 so an A time of 3.5 hours.  Thurs night possibly as had a 20 min cn on me at 2:30 and resisted bt of 6pm for about 40 minutes.  Last night though was A 5.5 and resisted again for about 40 minutes.

While we are transitioning would you suggest moving her bedtime depending on her A time?  What should be an ideal A time for a 14m LO?

Offline cath~

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2015, 10:51:03 am »
It's hard to talk about A times at this age as it can vary a lot, especially since lots of LOs are transitioning from 2-1 naps.

Is your LO still taking 2 naps? If you could post a typical routine then that might help.

Could she have been OT after the 5.5 hr A time the other night? Was that after a long or short nap?
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2015, 07:08:14 am »
Thanks cathn, we have been on 1 nap for just over a week now. 

The 5.5 hr A time was after a 1h 45 nap and she woke at 12:45pm.

Working on getting her to an 11:30am nap but on this particular day we only made it to 10:45. My LO had resisted a cn late avo so I just rolled with it for a normal bt of 6pm.

More change over the last couple of days.  Yesterday cn of 15 minutes at 8am and nap a 11:15 for 2 hours.  Bedtime 6:15 fell asleep feeding.  Tonight similar, no cn today and managed to keep her going till 11am.  Only slept for 1h15 (totally independently :D no blips :D but unfortunately resisted resettling but had a lovely afternoon.  Bedtime 6pm and again fell asleep feeding.

Started walking today so loads going on, including loads of snot :P  If anything I think we have a bit of OT going on as last 2 nights were pretty rough with a 4:30am wake up and there was no-way she was going back to sleep and last night unsettled on and off with coughing and snot 1:30-4.  Hoping with the walking emerging we may see our nights settle down.

Offline cath~

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2015, 11:56:00 am »
Sounds like EBT might be the way to go for a bit to help her catch up then

It's tricky with so much going on
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2015, 07:29:33 am »
Thought Id jump back in here and see if there are any more pearls of wisdom that might be able to help.  Looking back my little one has been in daycare now just over 3 months 2 days per week.  We have had all manner of coughs and colds, hand foot and mouth, conjunctivitis... you name it we've had it!!

Along with all of these wonderful bugs my darling LO has stopped self settling to sleep.  We are down to 1 nap at about 11:30 for 2-3 hours which is nice.  I am not able to leave the room until she is asleep.  Some days she falls asleep while I am singing her song, other days bum rub and a bit of shushing, other days sitting beside the cot.  It takes between 5-10 minutes.

Night time she falls asleep feeding.  We have tried feeding earlier, jiggling.  I have even weaned her morning feed as she was falling asleep after a couple of hours being awake in the morning.  She has a really strong sleep association with breastfeeding.  I am at the point now where Im worried for her to be awake as she wont self settle and I am worried how it will go.

Any suggestions for getting her back to self settling?  She is a really sensitive soul and SA has been an issue since about 12.5 months.  Do I need to think about weaning completely and tackling everything?
TIA

Offline cath~

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #13 on: August 27, 2015, 21:11:00 pm »
No, I don't think you need to wean completely at all.

She settles without a bf for naps so that's good. And she takes a nice long nap too :)

Does she have any NWs or NFs at the moment? How does she settle with them?

Have you seen this link re weaning feeding to sleep at BT?
PANTLEY'S GENTLE REMOVAL PLAN

It's a very gentle approach so might be good for your LO:

Let me know what you think.
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline First mum

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Re: Do I have a prop???
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2015, 00:57:05 am »
Thanks Cath, this is her only remaining bf.  I read through the link you sent me and that is what I'm currently doing but I think I may need to do it a bit earlier.  If she is really tired I only feed 8 minutes aside and then pop her off.  Sometimes she will give a little grizzle and move in looking again but I just let her snuggle for 3 or 4 seconds then pop her up on my shoulder.  I then dim the light and move towards the cot (counting in my head to 15) I then lay her down, help her to roll onto her tummy, cover her up, raise the cotside and that's it.  Sometimes she will open her eyes but not very often.

No night feeding and sttn unless teeth or illness.  With these nw I try and leave for a few minutes to see if she will push through on her own.  If not I will whisper to her that its still sleepy bobbyes time, usually as soon as I say this if she is standing she will lie back down.  Gentle bum/back rubbing for a minute or two and then I leave.  The teething nw can be longer and sometimes involve a cuddle, pain meds and an offer of water.  The molars seem to be the worst and we have had some really long nw in the last couple of weeks.

I think I could be taking to heart a few comments I have had about making a rod for my back with feeding to sleep and her not being able to settle to sleep?!?!