Hi sweetie, it sounds like you've both had a rough time of it these last 8 months! So first off, hugs and vibes for things to go more smoothly from now on xx
Right, now to routine things
By my rough calculations, she's about 8 months old and has been out of hospital a short time, 2 weeks or so at most, so I presume she's still not completely fighting fit? Even a baby born at term who's been struck down with a cold has a 'hangover' period when they seem healthy to us but are still not quite back to normal and ready to sleep but if you give them a week or two, they'll settle back to sleeping properly, so I think there may be a bit more time required before she can be expected to sleep solidly given the 'training' she's had for the past few months has been to deal with disrupted sleep.
Even by corrected age, that first A time is too short - possibly a reason for a short first nap and the difficulty getting her back to sleep after that 4am feed.
Are you able to dream feed at night or do you have to wake her? Are you allowed to feed her through the NG tube at night and just do the oral feeds during the day? Sorry, I don't know the ins and outs of looking after a baby post-abdominal surgery, just trying to think of ways to help her be able to get the sleep she needs to heal and grow with minimal disruptions and without missing out on the nutrition she needs.
5pm to 7pm nap, sometimes later or shorter followed by fussing8pm milk feed (woken)9pm bed12pm milk feed (woken)4am milk feed, wide awake at this time. Difficulty settling her back to sleep after feed.
I suspect she's maybe having her night from 5-4 instead of 9-8 as you seem to be aiming for.
I wonder if something like this might work (may have to move there gradually since she's touchy but since everything's pretty messy, it might be worth trying the jump if you think she/you can do it):
8 - wake, feed
10 - solids
10:30 - nap (1.5hr)
12 - wake, feed
2 - solids
2:30 - nap (1.5hr)
4 - wake, feed
7 - catnap (30 min)
8 - milk feed
8:30 - bed for the night
12, 4 night feeds
The longer A times should yield better length and therefore restorative naps and the clearer space between day and night should help with the resettling post-4am feed.
There may be further tweaks required, but this routine would suit a ~5 month old and should be ok for her corrected age factoring in a higher sleep requirement for the healing & growing. Its a bit of a guess but I think would be somewhere to start at least.
Hugs xx you must be exhausted and strung out. Hope this helps a bit xx
