Author Topic: Taking a long time to fall asleep at night (Read 5260 times)

Chloevalentine · « **on:** July 21, 2015, 01:34:27 am »

It's been taking my 2 year old about 45 mins to fall asleep at night. He's just in his crib rolling around talking tying to get comfortable. He's not upset or crying so I'm not overly concerned but then he sleeps later in the morning because of it. Last night he went into crib at 8 fell asleep at 845 and slept today until 8!! He went down for a nap from 120-250 1.5 hrs and then into crib a bit later to see if that was the issue but it still took 45 to fall asleep at 9! I just think that's way too late for a 2 year old but we are in a vicious cycle and can't get out! I've tried waking him in the morning and waking from nap but we get a miserable cranky kid and it just doesn't seem worth it. Today he was happy and rested.

cath~ · « **Reply #1 on:** July 21, 2015, 08:19:26 am »

If he wakes from his nap at 2.50 then asleep at 9, this is about 6hrs later, which isn't at all unreasonable for a 2 yo. It probably takes so long to settle because he's just not tired enough yet any earlier.

You have a few options you could try if you want an earlier BT:
- cap nap
- bring nap earlier to see if a longer A time to BT helps (this might also lead to shorter naps, which could also help)
- go with the later BT

I think you're prob in the start of the 1-0 (although it could still be quite a while until he's on 0 naps - it's a long process). There are some more ideas here:
The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

What time have you tried waking from nap? If you wake when he's in deep sleep he might be more likely to be grumpy whereas some ppl find if they try waking at a different time (e.g. at the end of a sleep cycle) then their LO is less grumpy. Might be worth experimenting.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #2 on:** July 21, 2015, 10:38:54 am »

I do find with him that it's more about a 13 hour day then A times so it's usually determined on when he wakes in morning yk. The earlier shorter nap seems like the better option for us although if he's not tired enough at nap time we get resistance with crying where as bedtime he just entertains himself happily. I've tried waking from naps at different times Either after an hour or by 230 neither makes a difference still get a grumpy guy lol. And bedtime just seems to take him 45 mins to fall asleep lately no matter what time he goes down. This used to be 30 mins. I think he might wake earlier today as he usually does going to sleep as late as 9 so hopefully it will straighten out eventually.

cath~ · « **Reply #3 on:** July 21, 2015, 11:09:43 am »

Quote from: Chloevalentine on July 21, 2015, 10:38:54 am

I do find with him that it's more about a 13 hour day then A times

so I guess if you want an earlier BT you'll just have to make sure you wake him in time in the morning. esp if capping the nap isn't a good option.

although if you can get him to take an earlier, shorter nap then that might work too (and perhaps give you a longer night overall)

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #4 on:** July 21, 2015, 11:31:33 am »

What do u do on a day where we need to be out of the house in morning and we have lunch out. I've tried to then put him down right away for nap as soon as we arrive home (as he wont sleep in car) but it never works. I find myself saying no to morning outings because I don't want to give up the nap lol

cath~ · « **Reply #5 on:** July 21, 2015, 11:43:13 am »

mine would always nod off in the car so I'd do a nap that way.

Is the change in routine that makes him resist a nap once you get home? What if you waited a little and had some kind of winddown would that help?

It's a shame to miss all morning outings and lunches at this age (how old is he exactly - just 2 or closer to 3?). IIWM and you can't get a nap at home I'd either try to APOP a (shorter) nap later in the afternoon (to prevent OT at BT) or just go for a NND and do EBT. It might all go wrong but worth a try and then you'll know for next time.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #6 on:** July 21, 2015, 12:06:03 pm »

Just turn two just turned to ! It is a pain! But he won't apop a nap later in day I've tried. I just woke him at 7:30 and spent a half hour crying and screaming hysterical

cath~ · « **Reply #7 on:** July 21, 2015, 12:32:12 pm »

oh, that's not a nice way to start the day

looks like your best bet might be trying (if possible) for an early nap since waking him doesn't go well. If you can't I guess you'll just have to take the later BTs for a bit.. $:-\$ Or maybe some one else has another idea..

ETA:

Is he LSN? It's not that uncommon for LOs to drop the nap at age 2. (my DD1 just had a 15 min CN at 24 mos and by 27 mos she'd stopped napping completely)

Something that you might want to think about trying is that if one day he wakes quite late, don't offer any nap at all that day but just go for EBT. That might help get you back on track with earlier WUs and BTs for a bit.. Do you think he could handle that as a one off?

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #8 on:** July 21, 2015, 14:04:12 pm »

I was thinking of doing that the nnd and ebt. I'm going to see how today goes

thank you

cath~ · « **Reply #9 on:** July 21, 2015, 14:09:13 pm »

great. Let us know how it goes.

Since he doesn't like being woken, having a mix of nap and no-nap days might be a good option for this transition for you.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #10 on:** July 21, 2015, 16:53:57 pm »

So a 13 hour day when he naps 730-830 and maybe a 12 hour day or shorter on no nap days say 8-730? I put him down for nap at 1245 he was exhausted!

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #11 on:** July 22, 2015, 00:56:08 am »

He napped from 1245-210 woke happy went into crib at 8 cried for a minute then fell asleep by 825!

cath~ · « **Reply #12 on:** July 22, 2015, 07:38:50 am »

You might find you need a shorter than 12 hr day on no naps, at least at first. See how he seems.

13hr might also be a bit short when he naps $:-\$

But of course each will depend on other factors like how the last couple of days and nights have gone as well so it's not really possible to have a set rule for every day.

Sounds like he was tired yesterday from you waking him after a shorter night perhaps.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #13 on:** July 22, 2015, 10:48:58 am »

He did end up doing a 13 hr day yesterday and is still asleep at 645 am. How much longer of a day do you suggest?

cath~ · « **Reply #14 on:** July 22, 2015, 11:11:23 am »

That was after a shorter night the night before wasn't it, since you woke him yesterday morning? Or is that not right? Seems like it was about spot on for yesterday.

If he's had a longer night previously though, then he might not be so tired and could need 30 mins more or even an hour, but you'd have to experiment.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #15 on:** July 22, 2015, 11:38:13 am »

Yikes that's a late night if he wakes at 730 9pm is 13.5 hours! I'm def not waking him today it just makes for a rough start. Think I might try the nap 15 mins earlier again as to make A time a bit longer before bed and see how that works. Yesterday was good

he's just starting to stir now at 730 which is about right 12.5 hours total sleep which seems to be what he needs 11 at night and 1.5 nap.

Shiv52 · « **Reply #16 on:** July 22, 2015, 12:41:11 pm »

Hey Hun

Just popping on to say that I agree with Cath and wanted to reiterate the need for a proper A time after that nap. I know he's happy enough at the minute faffing in bed for 30/45 minutes before he manages to fall asleep but I doubt that will last as the transition goes on as he'll end up getting frustrated. I think you maybe encountered that before in one of your last threads xx

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #17 on:** July 22, 2015, 13:07:30 pm »

You are right

but it seems no matter what time I put him in crib at night it's taking him 45ins to fall asleep. Although last night was only 25. Guess it just depends on his day. He seems to need about 6 hrs A time before bed with s 13/13.5 hour day. Being that he was up at 730 today I'll try for an earlier nap again today around 1245 until 215 and then I've been putting him into crib around 8 so that he's asleep by 830 although sometimes he's up later. It just gets tricky with bedtime because last night he was asleep in 25 mins which is good by 825 but here are sometimes when I put him in later and it takes him longer to fall asleep like the other night he was up until 9 and then he sleeps too late in morning yk? Just trying to find the perfect/appropriate time which is so hard lol

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #18 on:** July 23, 2015, 01:11:22 am »

He napped today from 1245-215 1.5 hours was up at 730 am I didn't wake him either time to avoid grouchiness lol but we put him to bed a bit later to see how he would do he went in at 815 and he's just falling asleep at almost 910! That's probably the latest he's ever been up! Last night he had s similar day but went into crib at 8 or just before and was asleep by 825. Tonight it was like he got a second wind at 805 when we were getting out of bath he was super wild. Any suggestions?

Shiv52 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 23, 2015, 12:10:52 pm »

I would probably aim for bed 6 hours ish after nap wake up. So I'd think if he wakes at 2.15pm I'd be aiming for getting into bed about 8/8.15pm depending on how the day goes. Given he's asleep so late he'll likely sleep on so I would probably just do a no nap day tomorrow. The other option is to wake at 7.30am but that'll be a short night for him but it's whatever you think will work best.

It's hard to know. With my Dd1 we kept the nap and she went to bed about 9 and up at 8am. With DD2 I couldn't be bothered with the later bedtime as DD1 was going to bed at 7.30pm but I couldn't expect a nap and an early bedtime so we cut the nap completely by 2yo.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #20 on:** July 23, 2015, 13:42:37 pm »

Yeah I think I'm just going to go with the flow for now being that he seems rested and pleasant. But I do think he got s second wind going to bed after 8! He did sleep until 8 today. I'll just offer nap at regular time too. As far as the 9 pm bedtime it is late but for now it just seems to be what he needs. My only concern is the time I'm putting him into crib and how long he's awake in there I just feel bad lol. But when I try putting him in earlier or later it's still taking him a long time. Maybe he just needs the time to unwind with all of his new vocabulary

if he naps today what time should I put him down in crib tonight?

cath~ · « **Reply #21 on:** July 23, 2015, 19:22:33 pm »

both of my two go through periods of taking more/less time to settle and it's not always related to being UT or not. often it's developmental

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #22 on:** July 23, 2015, 20:30:19 pm »

That's my gut feeling too

I did wake him at 1 hour nap today 1:10-2:10 so we'll see if it makes a difference tonight

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #23 on:** July 24, 2015, 02:09:55 am »

We had a good night here. Into crib by 8 asleep by 825/30!! I'm not sure if it was because I shortened the nap by 30 mins or because he usually doesn't catch that second wind if he's in bed by 8! My mom was here today to help me wake him from nap so even though he was a bit upset he didn't carry on and cry for an hour like he normally does. Although I must admit im not sure that I'll be happy about having to wake him tomorrow from nap without her here for a distraction. Guess I'll play it by ear

cath~ · « **Reply #24 on:** July 24, 2015, 06:23:55 am »

Sounds good

Having a drink and / or small snack to offer mine when I wake them from naps, that they can have sitting on my lap, helps to ease the transition for them.

Maybe if he gets used to being woken (and associates it with something pleasant happening?) it won't be so upsetting for him?

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #25 on:** July 26, 2015, 01:34:05 am »

We can't seem to get out this late night late morning cycle. He's not falling asleep until 9 then sleeps until 745-8! His nap is a bit earlier because he's exhausted and yawning by lunch so going down at 1245 until 2 but tonight didn't fall asleep until 9!!

cath~ · « **Reply #26 on:** July 26, 2015, 05:28:04 am »

You haven't really changed anything though have you? (Sorry if that's wrong!) or are you capping the nap/waking in the morning?

I think your best bet is to do both of these, def cap the nap at least.

Have you tried 45 mins? Waking at the end of a sleep cycle might be easier?

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #27 on:** July 26, 2015, 13:15:38 pm »

I was trying the waking at nap time at an hour and I was trying a bit of an earlier nap. But it seems that he just needs 13-13.5 hour day no matter what time he wakes from nap. Today I wake him at 730 he was fine no crying. I'll try the earlier shorter nap and then bedtime the same going in crib at 8 to hopefully be asleep by 830. His vocabulary is just crazy right now. He's talking non stop and just needs some time to settle and practice at night I think lol. The just hard because he still needs the nap but being woken and its just taking him longer than usual to fall asleep at night making for a late morning wake.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #28 on:** July 26, 2015, 23:08:27 pm »

We had a no nap day as he resisted but bedtime is tough a lot of crying and can't settle ugh

cath~ · « **Reply #29 on:** July 27, 2015, 05:11:42 am »

Oh dear sorry to hear that.

What time was WU in the morning and what time did you first put him down? He might need a shorter day if he skips the nap.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #30 on:** July 27, 2015, 10:42:41 am »

Up at 730 I woke him and into crib by 7. He's just starting to stir at 645. How long do I let him nap today after a nnd?

cath~ · « **Reply #31 on:** July 27, 2015, 10:50:56 am »

Quote from: Chloevalentine on July 27, 2015, 10:42:41 am

Up at 730 I woke him and into crib by 7

often LOs find they need an 11hr day at first so next time you do a NND maybe try 11hrs and see how that goes?

Quote from: Chloevalentine on July 27, 2015, 10:42:41 am

How long do I let him nap today after a nnd?

you were capping at 1hr before, right? I'd stick to that. If he seems super tired afterwards then put him to bed a little sooner. IME if you allow long catch-up naps, it can just mean they catch up too much and you end up with later BT again (which you don't want, right?).

Lots of people find this transition hard because once you start throwing in the odd NND you often lose that consistent routine you've had previously.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #32 on:** July 27, 2015, 17:22:27 pm »

Seems like another nnd here! Ugh doesn't make any sense. Guess we'll do an 11 hour day n

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #33 on:** July 27, 2015, 17:25:37 pm »

Oh wait he just passed out after crying for a few minutes so it's 120 guess I'll wake him in an hour and do bedtime regular time at 8? He was up at 710 today.

cath~ · « **Reply #34 on:** July 28, 2015, 07:35:28 am »

that's what I'd try, around 8 or 8.30, depending on how tired he seems

How did it go?

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #35 on:** July 28, 2015, 10:49:36 am »

He napped for about an hour 210 woke crying and took some time to calm down. He went into crib at 8 and cried for a bit which is not typical for him then passed out which he never does by 815! I guess 13 hrs on a nap under an hour is a bit too long for him. He's still asleep at 645 am so I'll see how today goes. 120 was also late for nap for him but as just circumstantial yesterday. We will try his usual 1245/1 nap today. The developmental part of talking is crazy right now as he's trying to use the words he knows into a sentence. It's adorable

thanks for your help!

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #36 on:** July 28, 2015, 16:54:02 pm »

I had to wake this morning at 730 and he went down for nap at 1245 and cried and passed out by 1250. We are getting a lot of crying when we put him in crib at nap and bedtime recently. Not sure why that is?

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #37 on:** July 29, 2015, 00:20:48 am »

Woke him from nap at 2 so about a 1 hour 10 min nap and he woke happy no crying and was in bed by 8 and passed out quickly 2 days in a row! I guess that extra 20/30 mins at naptime was really throwing off bedtime that much ?

cath~ · « **Reply #38 on:** July 29, 2015, 05:26:55 am »

Sounds like it might have been.

With the crying - is he showing any discomfort at other times? Does he have all hhis teeth or could he be teething?

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #39 on:** July 29, 2015, 10:59:50 am »

He has been having a hard time with teeth but I actually think he's been better past few days as far as less drooling etc but he's still chewing sucking the heck out of his lovey. I think it just becomes routine for a bit where he just cries for a min or two when he goes in not really sure why. But at least I think I've found a good routine for him with the 13 hour day and a 1 hour nap

cath~ · « **Reply #40 on:** July 29, 2015, 19:06:21 pm »

Pleased you've found a routine that works for now

That's great.

If you start getting trouble at BT again, or he's just taking a long time to settle, I'd try shaving another 10-15 mins off of the nap. But FXd you won't have to do that for a few months.

Shiv52 · « **Reply #41 on:** July 29, 2015, 19:13:43 pm »

Sounds like things have settled for now. Hurray!!!

Hope it lasts for a while. Once we had to start capping the nap at 45 mins we jumped cold turkey to no nap as she still needed ridiculous amounts of A time after a short nap that it wasn't worth it. She moved to no nap at 18 months ish. My DD1 napped until she was 3!

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #42 on:** July 30, 2015, 01:09:42 am »

I hoping to hold onto this hour nap for as long as possible lol! I've still been waking him by 730 am and tonight he was asking to go to bed at 715! Lol he did go in at 8 and settled right away. He's been easier to wake in morning and from nap without much fuss but going down now for nap is hard with some crying lol

Katet · « **Reply #43 on:** July 30, 2015, 05:50:26 am »

I found that the best way to keep a nap going was heaps & heaps of physical activity & busy days, if we stayed home & they just pottered around, then it was a struggle to get them to bed & DS2 is a LSN & because he was kept active by an older brother, I managed to keep a nap until 3yo.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #44 on:** July 30, 2015, 10:54:51 am »

So true! Sometimes we struggle to find things to do to keep super active as he's not interested in the playground these days. Usually we just play around the house dancing and climbing and exploring out in the yard which seems to be all he wants to do these days. An occasional Gymboree class usually helps to tire him out too.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #45 on:** July 30, 2015, 16:31:57 pm »

I'm getting hysterical crying and screaming when I put lo down for nap these days usually lasts for a minute then he passes out lately it's for about 3-5 mins which feels like forever. Could it just be a little separation anxiety? Today he was clearly tired at nap yawning etc but got hysterical when I put him in crib and then continued to call for me. I usually try to wait a few mins to see if he'll fall asleep because wiwo doesn't work here. As soon as I go inthe room he stands up and it's all over.

cath~ · « **Reply #46 on:** July 30, 2015, 19:08:36 pm »

how old is he exactly? could it be related to a birthday/half birthday developmental leap? How has he reacted to these before (if he's in one now)?

that or some kind of discomfort (teething/illness) would be my bets as it sounds like he might have a touch of SA, which could be triggered by any of those things.

Chloevalentine · « **Reply #47 on:** July 30, 2015, 21:38:31 pm »

He's 25 months! I think the teething is better as it been over the past few weeks but I'm not really sure. He's just going through a vocabulary leap where he's now trying to put all the words he knows into sentences, really working hard lol. It did take him about 15 min to fall asleep for nap which he usually cries for a few seconds and passes right out and he woke on his own a little under in hour crying but he wasn't really awake his eyes were still closed. Just an odd day I guess. I sure he'll be exhausted by bedtime

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Author Topic: Taking a long time to fall asleep at night (Read 5260 times)