Really need your help am completely lost

[toscacat]

My little boy has always been great at settling to sleep and we have been on one nap at a set time for over 8months. Gradually the time has gotten later. We are doing put down 1245 (quiet usually straight away and I guess asleep by 1300) then he started crying or talking a lot so he now does

Wake up. 7.30 (well get up...he is usually awake so not sure what time he wakes before shouting)

Nap put down 1245/1300 wake up at 1500 we always have to wake him

Put down for bed at 1930, asleep by 2000.

Bedtime was 1915 but he then would chat til gone past 2015 so we moved it later.  He has always been higher sleep needs. He is 23 months. Speaking quite a bit mow but no other developments,  no teeth that are obvious.

The problem is now at bedtime at some naps I get hysterical crying when I leave. But not his dad. I fell into the just one more story trap and am now trying to break it as one more is now two or three more.

I make it clear that he will have one story then put him in his cot...he then starts crying hysterically.  The last two nights I went in and calmed him but saying it's night time and stroking his face but didn't get him out of the cot. And then eventually after am hr of in and out stayed for a little while and edged closer and closer to the door. Tonight I noticed if I shut the door the crying would start but leave it open and he would chat to himself (is still chatting now 30mins later with the odd call for mummy)

Is this routine issues?
Thanks for help xx

[Haribo2012]

Hi there looking at your day would you say he's tired enough at BT? Most LO at this age would do a 13 hr day on a good 2 hour nap so it could be that your just putting him down a little early?!

It may well be developmental as it's coming up to his birthday or maybe nap is a tad long, but you mention he's ok with dad so that would lead me to think that it's not the nap if that makes sense?!

Could dad just do the BT?x

[toscacat]

Thanks, yes I wondered how it was nap length if it was ok with dad but thinking about it Dad tends to do bedtime after a day at the childminder where he tends to have less sleep. I might ask the childminder to keep a note of the nap he has so we can find a correlation. 

Interesting about the 13hr day as I have been trying to work on a 12 hrs which is what he needed when he first went to one nap so I shall look at it. I guess the trade off is do I want a decent nap length or a lie in or early bedtime as I can't have all three! What are other people's days like?

Would up at 7
Nap 1-3
Bt 8 work or would I be netter with sticking with up at
7.30
Nap 1.30-3
Bedtime 7.30 asleep at 8

Or is 1hr and half too long for a 121/2 hr day

He usually wakes from his nap happy even if I wake him which is most days!
 

[Haribo2012]

That's a good idea to find out nap length from child minders. Might answer your questions for u.

Here's on old thread of mine mainly talking about 1-0 transition but gives u an idea of what others where doing.
When did 1-0 start for you?
We had a capped nap around this age at 1.5 hours but each LO is different x

[toscacat]

Thank you that is useful.  Seems like daddy has lost his magic touch so it's either routine or developmental.  How can I tell which is which? He had no nap today at the childminder and was in a relatively good mood until bedtime and then we still got the messing around and crying so maybe it isn't too much day sleep.

What do I do if it is developmental?

[Haribo2012]

Did you do an early BT with no nap? If not it might be that you missed the window so to speak.

If its developmental its a case of riding it out and being consistant.

[toscacat]

Thanks...no no early bed as he seemed fine...and we get him quite late from the childminder...1830 so by time we have done milk etc it was 1930 he went down.

[Haribo2012]

He was possibly OT from no nap and took a while to relax. My DS can appear totally fine but I know I've missed the window when BT messing starts x

[toscacat]

So not going well here. We tried a 7.30 start plus nap 1315-1455 bedtime of 1930 he was beside himself so I tried walking walkout.  I went in stroked his face and said it's bedtime darling, he instantly shut up until I started to leave when he became historical so I went out and went back in after he got to an I need you cry.  After forty mins I ended up staying in his room and then slowly inching towards the door.


Was I on the right track with the walk in walk out? He now won't settle for dad either. He seemed tired at bedtime butaybe the day is too short?

[Haribo2012]

I'd say that a nap of 1.5 needs a 13 hour day.

It could be a phase of SA kicking in....to be honest my DS was never very good at WI/WO and he's an independent sleeper. I used GW more but at this age it was sitting in the doorway or on the stairs but with his door open saying quiet now time for sleep. x

[toscacat]

Thanks....just to prove a point dad did bedtime tonight. Not a peep,not one and I let him sleep much later on his nap!

He did 0715 up
Nap 1300-1545
Bedtime 7.30 asleep just after 8

So looks like he is trying for the 13hr day just does it more quietly with his dad! I should be flattered I guess that he wants me to stay. I shall try gradual withdrawal instead then.


Thanks for sticking with me!

[Haribo2012]

They just like to keep us mummies on our toes. Fingers crossed you get a good night 

No probs happy to chat, keep me posted x

[toscacat]

Thanks...a good night apart from an upset wake at 0430-0500 which is unusual but unsurprising after the mega nap. My time tonight and because we were at his cousins he only had forty mins nap at 1450-1530 despite being put down at 1 but unfamiliar bedroom etc.

[Haribo2012]

You shooting for an earlier BT?

[toscacat]

Tried to but but sadly with one thing and another by the time we did tea and bath he went down at 7.30 asleep by 8pm. but he did only get up for the day 8! so still a relatively short day. I got half an hr of whinging on and off which is progress and definitely an I am too tired whinge rather than I am ready to party!

Tomorrow it is all about him so naps and bedtime and we shall see what happens