Author Topic: Really need your help am completely lost (Read 4317 times)

toscacat · « **on:** July 22, 2015, 19:05:33 pm »

My little boy has always been great at settling to sleep and we have been on one nap at a set time for over 8months. Gradually the time has gotten later. We are doing put down 1245 (quiet usually straight away and I guess asleep by 1300) then he started crying or talking a lot so he now does

Wake up. 7.30 (well get up...he is usually awake so not sure what time he wakes before shouting)

Nap put down 1245/1300 wake up at 1500 we always have to wake him

Put down for bed at 1930, asleep by 2000.

Bedtime was 1915 but he then would chat til gone past 2015 so we moved it later. He has always been higher sleep needs. He is 23 months. Speaking quite a bit mow but no other developments, no teeth that are obvious.

The problem is now at bedtime at some naps I get hysterical crying when I leave. But not his dad. I fell into the just one more story trap and am now trying to break it as one more is now two or three more.

I make it clear that he will have one story then put him in his cot...he then starts crying hysterically. The last two nights I went in and calmed him but saying it's night time and stroking his face but didn't get him out of the cot. And then eventually after am hr of in and out stayed for a little while and edged closer and closer to the door. Tonight I noticed if I shut the door the crying would start but leave it open and he would chat to himself (is still chatting now 30mins later with the odd call for mummy)

Is this routine issues?
Thanks for help xx

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #1 on:** July 23, 2015, 08:49:27 am »

Hi there looking at your day would you say he's tired enough at BT? Most LO at this age would do a 13 hr day on a good 2 hour nap so it could be that your just putting him down a little early?!

It may well be developmental as it's coming up to his birthday or maybe nap is a tad long, but you mention he's ok with dad so that would lead me to think that it's not the nap if that makes sense?!

Could dad just do the BT?x

toscacat · « **Reply #2 on:** July 23, 2015, 12:45:29 pm »

Thanks, yes I wondered how it was nap length if it was ok with dad but thinking about it Dad tends to do bedtime after a day at the childminder where he tends to have less sleep. I might ask the childminder to keep a note of the nap he has so we can find a correlation.

Interesting about the 13hr day as I have been trying to work on a 12 hrs which is what he needed when he first went to one nap so I shall look at it. I guess the trade off is do I want a decent nap length or a lie in or early bedtime as I can't have all three! What are other people's days like?

Would up at 7
Nap 1-3
Bt 8 work or would I be netter with sticking with up at
7.30
Nap 1.30-3
Bedtime 7.30 asleep at 8

Or is 1hr and half too long for a 121/2 hr day

He usually wakes from his nap happy even if I wake him which is most days!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 23, 2015, 13:37:47 pm »

That's a good idea to find out nap length from child minders. Might answer your questions for u.

Here's on old thread of mine mainly talking about 1-0 transition but gives u an idea of what others where doing.
When did 1-0 start for you?
We had a capped nap around this age at 1.5 hours but each LO is different x

toscacat · « **Reply #4 on:** July 24, 2015, 21:25:50 pm »

Thank you that is useful. Seems like daddy has lost his magic touch so it's either routine or developmental. How can I tell which is which? He had no nap today at the childminder and was in a relatively good mood until bedtime and then we still got the messing around and crying so maybe it isn't too much day sleep.

What do I do if it is developmental?

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #5 on:** July 25, 2015, 06:07:04 am »

Did you do an early BT with no nap? If not it might be that you missed the window so to speak.

If its developmental its a case of riding it out and being consistant.

toscacat · « **Reply #6 on:** July 25, 2015, 22:44:22 pm »

Thanks...no no early bed as he seemed fine...and we get him quite late from the childminder...1830 so by time we have done milk etc it was 1930 he went down.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #7 on:** July 26, 2015, 07:06:55 am »

He was possibly OT from no nap and took a while to relax. My DS can appear totally fine but I know I've missed the window when BT messing starts x

toscacat · « **Reply #8 on:** July 26, 2015, 20:59:44 pm »

So not going well here. We tried a 7.30 start plus nap 1315-1455 bedtime of 1930 he was beside himself so I tried walking walkout. I went in stroked his face and said it's bedtime darling, he instantly shut up until I started to leave when he became historical so I went out and went back in after he got to an I need you cry. After forty mins I ended up staying in his room and then slowly inching towards the door.

Was I on the right track with the walk in walk out? He now won't settle for dad either. He seemed tired at bedtime butaybe the day is too short?

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 27, 2015, 08:34:01 am »

I'd say that a nap of 1.5 needs a 13 hour day.

It could be a phase of SA kicking in....to be honest my DS was never very good at WI/WO and he's an independent sleeper. I used GW more but at this age it was sitting in the doorway or on the stairs but with his door open saying quiet now time for sleep. x

toscacat · « **Reply #10 on:** July 27, 2015, 21:21:02 pm »

Thanks....just to prove a point dad did bedtime tonight. Not a peep,not one and I let him sleep much later on his nap!

He did 0715 up
Nap 1300-1545
Bedtime 7.30 asleep just after 8

So looks like he is trying for the 13hr day just does it more quietly with his dad! I should be flattered I guess that he wants me to stay. I shall try gradual withdrawal instead then.

Thanks for sticking with me!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #11 on:** July 28, 2015, 05:19:40 am »

They just like to keep us mummies on our toes. Fingers crossed you get a good night

No probs happy to chat, keep me posted x

toscacat · « **Reply #12 on:** July 28, 2015, 16:32:15 pm »

Thanks...a good night apart from an upset wake at 0430-0500 which is unusual but unsurprising after the mega nap. My time tonight and because we were at his cousins he only had forty mins nap at 1450-1530 despite being put down at 1 but unfamiliar bedroom etc.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #13 on:** July 28, 2015, 17:47:03 pm »

You shooting for an earlier BT?

toscacat · « **Reply #14 on:** July 28, 2015, 20:56:46 pm »

Tried to but but sadly with one thing and another by the time we did tea and bath he went down at 7.30 asleep by 8pm. but he did only get up for the day 8! so still a relatively short day. I got half an hr of whinging on and off which is progress and definitely an I am too tired whinge rather than I am ready to party!

Tomorrow it is all about him so naps and bedtime and we shall see what happens

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #15 on:** July 28, 2015, 21:07:06 pm »

That sounds like not too bad a BT with an 8am wu....let's hope he surprises you with a lovely long night

toscacat · « **Reply #16 on:** July 29, 2015, 06:23:10 am »

Well we are at 11 and half hrs. He is still quiet in there but I can here him stiring so think we are nearly up.

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #17 on:** July 29, 2015, 12:23:46 pm »

Not bad really, how's today going so far?

toscacat · « **Reply #18 on:** July 29, 2015, 13:06:40 pm »

Mmm....Yeah so I woke him up at 7.45 and he was pretty sleepy still so must have been soundly asleep. Put him down for his nap at 1305 and his still chatting away to his toys an hour later! Still at least no tears. I don't understand how he can sleep for three hours on Monday and so far none today.

So do I get him up and try again later or leave him til he really kicks off ? Assuming he does fall asleep...how long should I let him have...do I wake him at 3 regardless?

If he doesn't go to sleep when do I aim for bedtime?

toscacat · « **Reply #19 on:** July 29, 2015, 13:46:02 pm »

Oh god...as predicted he went to sleep at half two! I shall give him forty mins I guess?

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #20 on:** July 29, 2015, 13:59:21 pm »

Best laid plans and all that hey...well I think you prob need to push nap a bit later if he's taking so long to drop off.
I'd give 40 mins and do BT 8.15 ish x

toscacat · « **Reply #21 on:** July 29, 2015, 14:46:56 pm »

Thanks. Yes will see what he does at childminder tomorrow and Friday then go from there. Bless him! Thanks

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #22 on:** July 29, 2015, 15:28:32 pm »

Your welcome fingers crossed for you x

toscacat · « **Reply #23 on:** July 29, 2015, 18:43:37 pm »

So today looks like this
Wake up 7.45
Nap put down 1305 asleep 1435 I woke him at 1530
Bedtime Down 1925 as he was starting to look like he might end up ot....5mins whinge /cry then quiet.

He does seem to have developed a cough this evening so maybe he has been feeling a bit off.

Thanks for the support so far

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #24 on:** July 29, 2015, 18:47:39 pm »

A good day then really, if he's feeling a bit off you might get a good long night

Looking at your day maybe you need to aim for nap nearer to 1.30pm then you'd have quite a good balance of A time either side of WU and BT x

toscacat · « **Reply #25 on:** July 29, 2015, 19:21:56 pm »

Yes I though 1330. He seems to have changed in a blink of an eye he could barely get to 1215 not long ago! Will aim for 1330-1500 at the weekend. Thanks

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #26 on:** July 29, 2015, 19:32:41 pm »

My DS was so the same he was taking nice 2 hour naps going down easy to all of a sudden refusing and messing at BT x

toscacat · « **Reply #27 on:** July 30, 2015, 07:52:07 am »

He did well last night despite keeping me awake with his coughing poor little mite...he seemed to sleep through (except for me waking him at 0300 for calpol as his temp was 39) til 0735 when I had to go in to get him ready. Childminders today so we shall see

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #28 on:** July 30, 2015, 12:57:06 pm »

Poor thing I hate it when they have a cough, must disturb them a little. You might find if he's off colour he naps well and is ready for bed ok x

toscacat · « **Reply #29 on:** July 30, 2015, 22:02:08 pm »

Mmmmm...Might need to spell it out for the childminder. He napped 1430 -1630 so obviously wasn't very tired by bedtime. What I don't understand though was he was behaving in an overtired, I am really sensitive to everything, mood. I went ahead with a 1945 bedtime as he was in such a grump but he took til 2130 to fall asleep.

He was upset and distressed to start with but then became chatty and happy til he went quiet at 2130. Anyway I shall ask her to aim for 1330/1345-1500/1515 tomorrow

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #30 on:** July 31, 2015, 06:46:05 am »

That's quite a late WU to get a normal BT. Are you going to ask her to cap it if he doesn't sleep till 2.30pm? Sometimes my DS gets that way if he's hungry too or if he's not feeling 100% sometimes he's just like it for no reason lol (hormones already

)

Hope you have a good night.

toscacat · « **Reply #31 on:** July 31, 2015, 08:54:25 am »

Quite late....it's very late! I NEVER let him sleep past 1530. Night ok he woke at 8 but is clearly still tired. Yes I have asked her to aim for 1330-1500 but cap at 45-60mins if he falls asleep after 1430. Tonight I am going to try a new tactic...we shall wait and watch (within reason) for him to look tired rather than bedtime being fixed regardless and see if he can show me!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #32 on:** July 31, 2015, 12:39:38 pm »

Lol yes very late..sounds like a good idea re childminder.

Let me know how the new tactic goes x

toscacat · « **Reply #33 on:** July 31, 2015, 16:26:42 pm »

So it resulted in no nap! And apparently no signs of crabiness etc he woke at 8 so will aim for 7pm bedtime.

She normally gets him asleep in the stroller but had said if we get him in a routine this weekend she will try and stick with it and put him in the cot at hers rather than the pushchair....I just wonder with it being the school holidays he is so overestimulated he can't nap. He is also chewing on his fist.... Surely the molars can't be responsible for being this all over the place.

Time to get tough. I will wake him at 7.15 tomorrow regardless to try and reset him and aim for nap at 1330 and see what Time he goes down! Assuming he falls asleep straight away would you give him til 1430 or 1500 for a 1945/2000 bed time

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #34 on:** July 31, 2015, 17:56:50 pm »

Yeah I'd definitely do 7pm BT tonight.
It could that the it's too interesting for him to sleep and yes teeth could well be on the move too.

I'd prob do the 1.5 nap and aim for 8pm BT x

toscacat · « **Reply #35 on:** July 31, 2015, 20:12:36 pm »

Thanks.... Sadly we missed the boat. He was showing tired signs but I needed him to take his medicine which took way longer than usual as he was being stubborn and ended up in a overtired crying mess by 6.50....asleep by 7. So an 11 hr day is too long on nnd...we shall aim for 10.5 if needed again. Alarm is set to have him up at 7.15 so watch this space!

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #36 on:** August 01, 2015, 05:24:50 am »

With nnd there will be some OT so don't worry too much, if he sleeps till 7.15 then you've had a good 12 hour night and that's great to start the next day on. x

toscacat · « **Reply #37 on:** August 01, 2015, 06:30:28 am »

He woke once at 2300 had a quick cup of milk and went back no issues. He started saying mummy at 7.15... Not sure if he is awake before he shouts as he has been known to lie there very quietly! Right let's hope with a calm morning and a close eye we can get the nap timing right!

toscacat · « **Reply #38 on:** August 01, 2015, 14:04:18 pm »

So he went down at 1315 was asleep by 1330 and we woke him up at 1500. Slightly grumpy but coped well...we went in at about 1450 just to open the door and curtains etc to try and make it a more natural wake up and think we got him in a cycle change as he was starting to stir. He spent ten mins refusing to get out of cot but then decided all was well! Only thing to note was he requested the fan on so I put it on five min timer.. He started really getting upset so I went in and the fan had finished. He asked for it back on and then went quiet...could it be that he his used to the white noise of the fan? Anything to do except remove the fan from his room...out of sight out of mind etc

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #39 on:** August 02, 2015, 08:21:32 am »

How was the night? Do you want to remove the fan? If not I wouldn't worry about it x

toscacat · « **Reply #40 on:** August 02, 2015, 08:32:45 am »

I was working the night shift so daddy did bedtime. He went down at 1945 without a peep... But he is better for daddy. Tonight will be the tester. I dont mind the fan but I don't really want to have it running throughout the winter

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #41 on:** August 02, 2015, 18:59:12 pm »

Hopefully it will be a good night for you. Yeah fan could be an issue in winter but you could tackle it another time if it's not a problem right now x

toscacat · « **Reply #42 on:** August 02, 2015, 23:28:06 pm »

We seem to be doing well....Although typically now he has a vomiting bug! Wake up 7.15/730 nap down at 1315 -1500 and bedtime put down at 7.45 is working well.

I think tomorrow I will have to let him sleep in if he needs it to a degree as he has been vomiting and his temp is up so he probably needs the sleep

Thanks for the hand holding x

Haribo2012 · « **Reply #43 on:** August 03, 2015, 05:15:01 am »

Oh no poor thing, yes just let him sleep whenever if he's poorly. Quickest way for him to get better and then you should be back on track ok afterwards when he's on the mend x

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Author Topic: Really need your help am completely lost (Read 4317 times)