Help for 18 month old night routine please!!!

[Laineybobs]

Hello
I've posted on here before for help and you have all been great so hoping you can help. My 18 month old is taking about 45 mins at night to fall asleep. He had been on a great routine but is really fighting bedtime. His routine at moment is:
Wake 645/7
A
S 1215/1230 for 1.5-1hr 45
Wake at 2pm

Then awake until bed at 8pm but even then be sometimes takes up to 45 mins to sleep and it's too long a day for us!! Funny thing is on days when his naps are only hour 10 say we still can't get him to bed earlier - it's 8pm on dot like he's stuck on that time!!!

We're due another baby beginning of next year and jseally (Tho maybe im being unrealistic) I'd like bedtimes to be somewhat the same!! So do i start this work now? Does he need a shorter nap? Even tho doesn't seem to make a diff to bedtime? I think he is on lower sleep needs but a few days of less sleep and we are in OT territory v quickly!! 😩😩 any help?!! X

[Martini~]

Hi Hon. What was the routine previously? And how long the shenanigans are going on?

[cath~]

I'm in a similar situation with my DD2 atm too (also 18 mos).

There is a big developmental leap at this age which can make LOs take longer to settle - it's like they need more time to process the day and settle down to sleep.

Also, I've found that both my DDs (LSN) have had a drop in daytime sleep needs at this age (in order to maintain a BT that I like ).

If he's happy for you to cap the nap, and isn't grumpy in the pm, then maybe try 1hr15 for a bit and see how that goes.  It might still take him just as long to nod off (due to the leap I mentioned) but you can try starting BT a bit earlier and see if that helps.

FWIW DD1 was on a 45 min nap at 18 mos and DD2 usually has around 1 hr ATM.  As I said, they are LSN though but that's what we need for a 7pm-ish BT.

ETA - I find that the best way to deal with OT is to do EBT rather than lengthen the nap.  With EBT my two have the same WU the following morning, but if I allowed a longer nap, they'd just get less sleep the following night (by having a later BT) so wouldn't actually catch up at all iyswim.

[Laineybobs]

Thanks for the replies ladies! His previous routine was
Wake up 7
Nap @ 12 for 2 hours
Sleep at 7/730 at latest! And we had been in that routine for a good while!!

I feel like this has been going on maybe 4 weeks now? Today went like this-
Wake 630
Nap 1210
Woke 155
And it's 2010 and we are still trying to get him to sleep now even tho we started his nighttime wind down early?!! Im really at a loss! We have also had the odd night of random wake ups at like half 12 or 3? For maybe 10 mins? Is that developmental?

I'm worried hubby is becoming a prop as he is in and out of room trying to settle him - we tried gradual withdrawal and now walk in walk out but not working. Baby can spend 40 mins rolling around in cot trying to settle?!! Help!!

[Kellyjs]

Classic 18mo SR hun.. We battles with it for about 6-8weeks which also coincided with the canines coming through.

Is he happy rolling around in there or is he asking for you? The reason I ask is that DD has done this since she was around 1yo and nothing I did made it any better. She's just happy winding down for the day up there. During the 18mo sR it was taking nearly an hour  . Normally I can just leave her to it and come downstairs and be on here 

We did through stages recently where she was UT and needed the nap capping as she was unhappy about going to bed it seemed. Lots of call backs which drove me up the wall. But that was recently at 22mo I think?

All I can say is that once the 18mo SR stopped and teeth weren't bothering her so much, poof back to only 30mins rolling around again. Whatever I did didn't work at all. And we we getting random WU's in the night too just like you mentioned.

Your routine looks good as it is tbh. Your DH won't become a prop unless he's soothing him to sleep like rocking etc. Wi/wo are all good tools to use on an IS. I use words a lot, with encouragement from another mod on here, I sat outside DD's room when she was calling out (but not crying) and firmly told her 'it's time for sleep' over and over. Wi/wo used to rile her up.

I hope some of that helps, I find it's useful to hear others have been through it too!! ((Hugs)) xx

[cath~]

((Hugs))

Yes, everything that pp said. Classic regression.

We're there too and unless dd2 is really exhausted at BT it takes her a long time to wind down in cot. Lots of chatting, rolling , even singing... And a bit of crying.

Dd1 was similar . It lasted maybe 6-8 wks and then much better.

[Laineybobs]

Im stuck as to how to move forward with this - we are really struggling. He is cutting his top canines but they don't particular seem to bother him and we are medicating just incase. But we seem to be stuck on 10-10.5 hour nights no matter when bedtime and then he reallu fights bedtim. Like really fights it.

Routine at minute is
Wake up between 630 and 7
Nap 1215 for hour 45 or so
Bedtime 8pm but takes 30-40 mins for him to settle - rolling around trying to settle, wanting up, playing.

So thinking I'll cap his nap a bit and try putting him down maybe closer to 12, since we are not getting full nights? What do you ladies think? Maybe 1.5 nap? Hour 20? How do I manage nighties then?

[cath~]

Maybe keep nap at same time (12.15) but cap at 1hr30.

Keep BT at 8pm too and see how that goes for a few days.

[Laineybobs]

Ok, thank you! Do you think this is the 18 mo regression?

[Martini~]

If that helps, I am in the same boat right now:). I don't face short nights but every single morning he moans 10-10.5h after BT but he usually stops ater 30sec or after me using teething gel and I don't hear him till 7am (BT is 7pm). We have BT shenanigans and only nap seems easy. But we are also having a heat wave here in Poland (36 deg) and I barely sleep so don't mind him.

I decided to stick to current routine and rather cap the nap if needed, not move BT. I somehow believe that pushing BT without pushing a nap may result in overtiredness.

[Mackjack]

Hi - just to say I'm keeping an eye on your thread as it sounds very similar to mine! You might want to have a look in case we can learn anything from each other!!!!

[Mackjack]

Sorry - this is minehttp://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=278259.0

[cath~]

Ok, thank you! Do you think this is the 18 mo regression?

Yes , it's most likely at least a factor! It's just especially tricky when there's other stuff going on too, and it can be hard to tell if your LO needs a routine tweak or if it's "just" developmental
Let us know how things go

[Laineybobs]

Tonight is crazy! We had to go out and about today and this meant he only napped 40 mins. By 7pm he was falling asleep so we changed him, milk, story and he asked to go baba. All fine. It's been 40 mins now and minute he went to his cot he had a burst of energy rolling around, screaming and shouting. It's crazy! I don't understand how on a 40 min nap he's like that? What's gone wrong?!! We cannot be spending 40 mins a night to get him to sleep?!!

[Martini~]

The same here... I didn't have 40min naps but he was tired after 2h nap two weeks ago and now even if he sleeps 1:30 he fights sleep at 7pm. I stick to thinking: teething or sleep regression!!!