Actual age or developmental age?

[emmamw06]

Can someone tell me whether we follow the baby's actual age or their developmental age for expectations/routine? I have a 4 week old baby who was brought out by Caesarian 2 weeks early, which developmentally puts her at 2 weeks old. It seems she is constantly wanting to sleep on me all the time and is only content when she is with me (except at night where she can sleep independently with ease). I understand I may expect this with a 2 week old but thought a 4 week old would be a little more independent by now. Any thoughts? Any ideas for strategies?

[Katet]

My understanding from when I worked with a Neonatal researcher, was that 37-42 weeks is counted as "normal" gestation & that if it falls in that range it isn't "early or late"

Also even if they are early in terms of the research adjustment to term the research used they never made adjustments for developmental stuff unless the baby was less than 37 weeks.

In terms of a baby wanting to sleep on you, really there isn't much developmentally that is different in the first 6 weeks & so what you get at 2weeks you could still expect at 6 weeks in many babies & even some in 3months, which is why they often call the first 3months the '4th trimester' as they still need lots of physical contact.

Temperament also plays a part & some baby's struggle with day sleep their whole lives, I'm honestly thinking you might be expecting a bit much for independent sleep so young.

[emmamw06]

thanks Kate, I hadn't heard before about the "fourth trimester". What does that mean for teaching independent sleep and Tracy's EASY routines, which begin from 4 weeks?

[Katet]

Like most things in parenting, some children will grasp it totally at 4 weeks, some children will struggle & maybe never have a textbook EASY, which is why the whole "listen to your baby" is more important than the timing of EASY routines. Sometimes as a parent our temperament & our child's temperament work together & it all falls into place, but other times it's a juggling act with ups & downs... but I really don't know anyone who has a perfect routine all the time.

My DS2 had great independent sleep until he got sick at 4mo & then that followed by teething & a few other factors & we had 9 months with struggles, DS1 on the other hand was shocking until about 3mo then sorted it for a while & then he started daycare & he struggled perodically  from there because the timing of daycare & travel didn't match his natural routines.