Almost 3 and BT Battles

[theu.s.lees]

DD will be 3 in September, and for the past few months we've been having major struggles around sleep. She's been on no nap most days for a few months now (maybe napping 1-2x per week). However, from about 1-2pm she's a fiery disaster. I've tried giving her naps, doing quiet time, keeping her up, giving her a snack, anything and she's so fussy. Then at BT she is so fussy saying "I'm not tired" over and over and over even though she's obviously exhausted. And she's waking up in the middle of the night screaming and saying she's hungry (partially a different monster as she barely eats during the day). On days she does nap, she's a nightmare to wake up, taking so long to wake up, and being fussy for 30-40 minutes after her wake up, no matter how long she naps. I've tried 20min naps to 1 hr naps, etc. Some days I try to put her down as she's so fussy, and she says she's tired, but she won't stay up there. Yet, if in the car or stroller or even a swing, she's pretty much guaranteed to fall asleep.
Her day is something like
WU - 7:15-8am ( I let her wake on her own and it's usually earlier)
BT -  7:45-8pm
She's very spirited and challenging me in every way possible. With another LO that naps, I can't just take her for quick walks/drive to get her to nap as H naps well in her crib for a couple of hours.

Thank you for any help.

[creations]

IIWM I would probably stop the naps all together. It sounds like she's using them to catch up on lost sleep rather than settling into the new routine of no nap and sleeping at night.
I think I'd probably talk with her about being hungry at night and the need for her body to get some energy from the food/fuel the way a car gets it's energy from filling the tank with petrol.  If you don't already do this then perhaps try:
- set meals times (3 meals, 2-3 snacks)
- all toys/books away so there are no distractions for meals and snack times
- eating with her (eg set the tbale, or make an indoor picnic with a blanket, or use a kids play table and set up a play cafe but with real food for a special snack time together)
- inviting her to help prepare food, make her own sandwich etc
- bake together (I'd recommend something like a chickpea cupcake which is full of protein, tastes like a cake but will give her nutrition/calories to fill her up)
- introduce pre-BT supper

I suggest those above (and not knowing your meal/snack routine at all) as it sounds like her mood could be down to low energy from not eating much rather than from needing a nap. I am not really keen on tricks to make kids eat, and I do tend to think they'll eat when hungry, but if she's waking at night asking for food I would want to implement some changes in the day.

Have you tried a much earlier BT to see if that helps reduce the BT fussing?

[Buntybear]

Agree that at times he is hungry at night (she is coming up to the 3 tO GS) I would give Olly a huge bowl of porridge before BT. We did it last week TBH as he was going through another GS!

Also agree that I would just drop the nap now. Doesn't seem any point in trying it if it just causes aggro. could you use it as a nice time for LO and mummy to spend some quiet time together - read books, magazines, watch a cartoon? You could sell it that she could choose what you do?

[theu.s.lees]

We have dropped the nap completely. Except if we go anywhere (by car, or stroller) she will fall asleep. She is a BATTLE at BT. Like last night she battled until 8:30 (over an hour) and then was up just before 7am today. I'm not sure if I should try for an earlier BT all together or what. It's hard because her and big brother usually go to bed at the same time. She is just exhausting me all across the board, and Im' struggling to keep my cool with her. She can be so so sweet, and then a TERROR! It doesn't help that the baby is up all night, leaving me one tired mama.

[creations]

We always get sleep disturbance around the birthday and half birthday, I think it could be that, developmental.
I would prob try a one off EBT to see if it helps anything, say 7 or even 6.30 rather than 7.30/8

I know you must be really exhausted right now with the baby too x  it will pass, it really will x