Author Topic: How can I be consistent?  (Read 527 times)

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Offline ecwinters

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How can I be consistent?
« on: August 05, 2015, 19:08:01 pm »
My 4 month old son usually wakes at least twice in the night - sometimes more often.  We have a set bedtime (give or take 15 minutes either way) but he wakes at different times each night.  I am never sure whether he is hungry or just can't settle himself back to sleep.  When he does feed twice in the night (especially later on during the night) he is less hungry for his first feed than he probably should be.

He used to STTN or have just the 1 feed around 3am - and still does this sometimes but not often.  I think the 4 month regression has set in and he needs to learn to go back to sleep on his own.  He can settle on his own to sleep at night and mostly for naps. 

I am worried that I'm not being consistent with how I respond to his waking.  Last night he woke at around 9pm (bed time was 6:20pm).  I was pretty sure he wasn't hungry so watched him on the monitor fussing around.  He was calling out quietly but not crying.  After a couple of minutes he gave a cry - but by the time I had reached the bedroom he'd resettled!  His next wake up was 10:30pm - same calling out but I fed him as it seemed a more reasonable time after bed time. He then woke again at 12:30!  I was in bed and heard him try to resettle so didn't go to him.  Again, he wasn't crying.  He dozed for about half an hour but then gave up trying to resettle fully and called out again.  At this point I just wanted him to go back to sleep so I give him a quick feed and he went back to sleep pretty quickly. 

That was it for the night although he was playing around from about 5/6am.  I got him up at 6:30am. 

I'm assuming he still needs a feed at night (I'm bf him) but I know he can go through without.  He feeds well during the day.  I have no problem with 1 or 2 wake ups as I assume that they are hunger, but am confused as to how to respond to these multiple wake ups which are closer together.  He never used to do this!  If he won't settle himself, I have no way of settling him without feeding really as he goes down on his own.  I have tried picking him up, giving him a quick cuddle, and putting him back down as this helps him sometimes settle for naps - but as soon as he sees me in the night it's game over and he wants food!  The only chance of him resettling is if I stay well out of the way.

Just wondering if anyone has any tips?  Should I set a time limit - say 10 minutes - for him to resettle and then feed him?  Or should I only feed him once at least 3 hours has passed since the last feed?  We are on a 3.5 hour easy during the day.

Thanks very much


Offline anna*

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Re: How can I be consistent?
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2015, 20:49:21 pm »
I think you're doing the exact right thing. When he wakes, if he's just fussing and shuffling around, leave him to it and see if he will resettle. If he starts to properly cry, go to him. I'd probably try to leave it 4hrs between feeds overnight but honestly at this age if he is resettling some of the time, if he can't then I'd assume he's just hungry and a quick feed will get everyone back to sleep sooner.





Offline ecwinters

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Re: How can I be consistent?
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2015, 20:40:00 pm »
Thanks!  I'll keep on with it then.  After feeding he always goes straight back to sleep  :)

Offline Ima shel Alon

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Re: How can I be consistent?
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2015, 12:14:35 pm »
My DS is the same age as yours and FF, so in theory should wake less at night for feeding.
He does still feed twice at night and sometimes even three times. He is emptying the bottles so I assume he is hungry :) and sometimes, like in your case, it's just 2 hours from the last feed. I know it's frustrating, but sometimes they are just hungry, yk?
And I can understand the confusion, of course. Do you give a paci? It could be a way to try and settle him without a feed and see if he is really hungry.
But like Anna said, waiting is a really good thing. The "I need you, mommy, now!" cry is a very clear one, I try not to go to him when he just fusses or lightly cries because he just tends to settle himself back to sleep.
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Offline ecwinters

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Re: How can I be consistent?
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2015, 20:38:42 pm »
Thanks, that's really interesting about the formula feeding.  No, I don't do a paci.  We tried a few times when he was younger but he refused it.  Now he's found his thumb so sucks that when he goes off to sleep and sometimes during the night if he wakes up.  Last night was a 2 hourly feeding night - 11:30-1:30-3:30 and then he slept through until nearly 7am.  Maybe he is just hungry!  It's quite hot here at the moment so he could have been thirsty I guess.